Pain In My Throat

I am feeling muches better, thank you fur asking. What? Ya’ll didn’t know I was under da weather? (mental note #1: get new assistant pronto) Well let me just tells ya’ll what happened to me. Afters I took my Heartguard pill on Monday I was feeling all kinds of icky and wasn’t my normal Puddle Duddle self.

UN-Puddles

Fast forward now till in da morning, which was Tuesday. Mum gots me up and I was still feeling NOT perky so hers new sumptin was not right with da Puddles. Of course later I threw up all overs da place. And does ya’ll know what I threw up? My heartguard medicine, the WHOLE freaking thing…da big, solid chunk.

You see, mum is a little paranoid abouts our health. It’s either that or hre has some loose wiring. So mum talked to Mrs. Vet, she is Dr. Vet’s wife and mum’s friend she has all kinds of smarticals too. You’d think being friends with them we’d gets a discount-NOT. I lost my train of thought here. Where was I, oh now I remembers. Her advice? Takes me to see Dr. Vet cuz da medicine should have already turned to mushiness in my tummy after so long. Then da next thing I knows I was being whisked away to da torture vet clinic. Mum didn’t takes da camera (thank da lawd)on account of hows stressed I get in that place so I didn’t need no more stresses from da flashy monster. Besides, there was nuff wacko doggies in that place to cause way enough stress. I showed them who was boss though. No, I’m lieing. I shook, shivered, and cowarded under da chair.

Ok, I’m getting to da exam part, stay withs me. Fairy Techmutter comes in with…yep, you guessed it…da magic wand. I says to Fairy Techmutter,”you are not fooling the Puddles no more with that wand. I know it don’t have no magic powers”…but hers paid me no tension. Then Dr. Vet comes in and starts all this pinching, pulling, staring, squeezing, watching, then he starts all this stretching. I say,” what up doc, I am already stretched out nuff, I don’t needs aaaaany more helps from you.” Yep, he ignored me too. Ok, I’m actually getting to da point of my story. So Dr. Vet informs my clueless mum that I had not actually swallowed my medicine…it had stayed lodged in my throat all night long. Now if that is not a scientific phenomenon I don’t know what could be. He gaves mum instructions to elevate my food bowl and blah, blah, blah. Afters I heard food I tuned him out. Oh and fur da likes of me, do you knows what Dr. Vet did next? He gaves me a…I can’t even hardly say it…he gaves me a shot so my throat woulds feel betters.

(mum says hers bought a lemon in me cuz everything seems to happens to me.)
Da rest of da day I laid around. It was most dreadful cuz my throat was so painfully sore and I hads so muches to say to da neighbors when they came outside. And I had lots to say to da Rottweiler walking down MY sidewalk. It was most terrible not being ables to converse with da terrorist  nice doggies.

At din din time mum came up with what she thought was a fantastical idea. (Mental note #2: Remind mum not to think). Her decided to elevate our food bowls on blocks fur da time being. Grrrreat, now we’re hillbilly’s , all we need now is our beds elevated on cinder blocks.

Now if yall are stil reading my much winded post, I am feeling muches better now and lucky fur da neighbors I haves my voice back (insert evil laugh). OK now I’m done, over and out.

Brighteyed and Perky ears...at last.

The End

Peace Out,

Puddles