Friday, September 28, 2012

Bite Me & Scarf Raffle Winner

Last Friday I gotted a pressie in da mail.
I hads da kerazy lady put it on da table while I was
busy bloggin' and leavin' my most heart warmin' comments to ya'll.


Later on in da day I read dat Nina had to go to da bridge.
My pressie was from Nina and Cindy from Bird Brains and Dog Tails.
I had won it from their comment-a-thon.

It was bittersweet.
Here was a package I had just gotted but yet, Nina was no longer with us.
I decided to wait and open da pressie so I could process all da emotions goin' on in my mind.
Yes, yes I does process stuffs...sometimes.

A few days later I proceeded to open my pressie...
First I hads to get me a good stretch in cuz dat be very important not to gets injured.


"STREEEEEEEEEEETCH"

Hehehehehehe....

Then I hads a tiny burp to come out...and it stunk.

Afters dat I dove right into my box.
Oooooooooh, it be wrapped up all nice and purties.

I has no idea why I look orange


THANK YOU Cindy and Angel Nina!
I really really really wanted to win dis bone and I DID!

Nina
Always in our hearts.
Until we all meet again at da Bridge.

...................................................................................................................
Scarf Raffle Winner

My apologies in da delay of doin' da Scarf Raffle Winner but I is heres to do it nows.
I knows it's been awhile but da scarf was made my da talented Madi's mom.
Sorry, da Puddles not come with it but I is sure there is plenty of Madi hairs.

Furst ya'll needs to knows dat to draw da winner I tooks a very teknical approach to do it.
I knows it comlicated but just bare withs me.

Furst....
I put all da names in a bowl...afters I wrote all da names down of course.

Then...
I shoved my snout in da bowl.

And I picked.....

drum roll

CINDY!!!!! 
from Bird Brains and Dog Tails
 

Congratulations Cindy!


And dis is da conclusion of dis post...and dis has been a Puddles production.

Puddles

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I Hads Company and a Mango Tribute

Hey ya'll...guess what!
On Saturday I hads company.
I did...I really did.

OMD, it was so awesome...
(I is usin' awesome cuz I knows of no betters word than dat)
...dat some peeps come to see me...just me!
They gotted heres and I was so excited and I was skeered I
was gonna pees cuz I does dat when I gets excited...shhhhhh.
Sees, they cames all da way down south furs a Giants game
just to see me in da fur.

Okays, lemme calm down and I tells you...
(breath Puddles breath)

Okays loooooooook....


IT'S DA CORBIN'S MOMMA
(dang, I nevers realized exactly HOW long I is)

They cames to my house and I letted them hold me and pet me...
...and pet me some mores.
And I said..."Why you not bring Corbin?"
And then I letted them hold me some mores.
I likes to be held what can I say?

 Her gaves me a kiss cuz her fells in love withs me on da spot
(dis HAS to be my most favorite foto)

 "Awe shucks, I loves you too Corbin's momma...can I go home withs you?"

I has to say...Corbin's momma and daddy is da SA-WEETEST hoomans...evah!
I mean it was likes I had known them furevers in da fur reals and not in da 'puter.
They be so down to earth.
I wants to live with them!

Dis is me, Jen, and Adam
"Ya'll should has brung Corbin ya know...hims gonna be pissed withs a capital P!"



Nows heres a kicker.
My sissy Whitney dat has "issues" went right up to both of them to get
some pettin' and lovin' too.
SHOCKIN' I say...Whitney don't usually evers do dat to peoples.
My mum was in absolute disbelief and I has no fotos to shows you cuz mum was busy blabbin' away.

I telled them nevers to furget me...so long...farewell
(insert dramatic voice)

Jen and Adam, thank you so much furs coming to sees ME. I am just so happy dat ya'll tooks da time out of your schedule.. I still be on cloud 9.
THANK YOU!!!!!!
You do knows I be apart of your family nows?
..........................................................................................................................................

MANGO
May 4, 2005 - September 26, 2012
You will live in our hearts forever.
Thank you for the laughs and bein' such a good furiend.
Until we meet again....

We love you Mango!


Puddles D. Rainwater

Monday, September 24, 2012

Court Case #87

Furiends and stalkers I has to interrupt my triweekly blog today cuz...

I has to go to COURT again...

...furs a crime I committed dat was really just an accident.


Howevers, I has lawyered up withs Pip cuz him just gotted his law certificate from
Burger and Burger University (online) so I think I should be okays.
 (Pip, put da burger down and defend me!)


 Since I does has a lot of character I needs A LOT of character witnesses furs
my defense if ya'll not mind so you can goes to da COURT HOUSE


...and in front of his honor, Mayor Frankie vouch furs me.


Heres what happened....
See, I kinda, sorta, in a round about way stoled borrowed Sasha's mom's snack truck
durin' da Back To School Bash. I was only just tryin' to be nice and helpful and
go gets more possums fur her Awesome Possum Pizzas. 
And besides, who leaves keys in their pocket just layin' around fur every Tom, Dick, and Harry to steal borrow??????? Or me in dis case.
It was not my fault dat da speed bumps gotted in my way and then I went all
KABLAM, KABLAM, KABLAM...
KAPOW!
(Before)


(After)

But, I did at least keeps da steerin' wheelcuz dats just da kinda thoughtful dog I is.


I say we mount it up in da town hall and just calls it a day.


Nows, I ask ya'll to look at dis face...
Does dis look like da face of a dog dat would do such a 
horrible thing on purpose?
I think not!


I will be at da court house awaitin' my future existence heres in Blogville
ain't I pitiful lookin'? 
So very sad...sigh

and uh, heres some evidences dat I is a good driver
Me and Corbin


Me and Deccy

Me and Pip my lawyer

Okays, I is off to da court house


Puddles...good driver
disclaimer: Sasha is one of my dearest, most respected furiends and dis will not in any way effect or affect our friendship

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Please Help da Puddles

Furiends and Stalkers,
it is with a most heavy heart dat I announce today...
I has to go to COURT furs a crime dat was simply an accident...
Ya'll does know how accident prone I is.
Well dis was an accident and I has been accused unjustly.

They gaves me dis outfit and telled me to wear it to my hearin'...to make it EASIER.

It's here, hang on...



okays, here we go....




 I does not look good in stripes.

Nows, since I has a lot of character I thoughted all my furiends could meet me 
at da Court House and vouch as character witnesses to gets me out of dis jam dat was an accident.
Please help me


POLICE REPORT
Incident Report
Officer: Sarge, Chief of Police, Blogville
Date: September 12, 2012 Time: All Afternoon Long
Violation: Unauthorized Use of Motor Vehicle and Disorderly Conduct
Accused: Puddles Duddles Rain…um…um…hmmm…
Witnesses: Half of Blogville’s Residents
Primary Victim: Sasha
Description: This officer responded to report of the unauthorized use of a motor vehicle. Specifically, Ms Sasha’s Awesome Possum Pizza Truck. Witnesses report Ms Rainwhatever did obtain keys to said snack truck and proceeded to abscond with said vehicle. While operating said Awesome Possum Pizza Truck, she did, on multiple (really lots & lots) occasions commit the following violations: driving recklessly, squealing tires and hollering in violation of Blogville’s noise ordinance, while driving with one paw she did litter by slinging awesome possum pizzas into the streets and targeting residents, harassed citizens with soggy spit wads, threw a water balloon at the Blogville School Bus, and eventually did lose (total) control of the motor vehicle resulting in a collision and damages to the snack truck. Fortunately, no one was injured, though many Blogvillians were really testy about the pizza splatters and slobbery spit wads.
A copy of this report is available for insurance purposes and will be provided as an exhibit for Mayor’s Court.
Citation issued by: Sarge, Chief of Police

Puddles

*comments are turned off until my court appearance*

Friday, September 21, 2012

For PIP

HAPPY POST BIRFDAY PIP!

Today I is takin' dis opportunity to celebrate your special day and your special life.
I has been so privileged to has you as my furiend...and I is at a freakin' loss of words...
oh geez, how does I possibly put it into words how much you means to me?
Well heck fires, I'll just say it....
I LOOOOVES YOU PIP and you means da world to me.
I promise I is not gettin' emotionals but I could use a snot rag...da kind withs lotion.


We won't talk bouts dis photo...good times...hehehe

Ahem....anyways, I just want you to knows dat I do so greatly love you and
appreciate all da laughs and good times we has had togedders and thanks furs bein' one of 
da bestest furiends a girl could ever has.
You knows I would do anything fur you.

Hell, I'd even sell your house if you wanted me too.
Oh wait I done did dat...hehehe.


Okays, let's take a trip down memory lane shall we?

PIs at work
Bar top dancin'...of course kept steppin' on our paws

Meetin' Oprah and mum's pretend boyfuriend

PIs again...just cuz we looked so hot.

I do believes we has had some interestin' times togedders, but dang was it fun...even if we did gets in trubles sometimes, it was so worth it.

Nows dat I got all dat mush mush outts da way I maded you a birfday cake aaaaaall by myself.



And I has da grill all fired up and ready to go.
Don't worry, I gots dis....
but you may wanna bring a fire extinguisher...you knows, just in case.

I has da beer.

Happy Birfday and Gotcha Day Buddy!


always and furever, your furiend
Puddles

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

A Post Bouts A Package

Furiends, has I evers tolded ya'll I LOVES gettin' pressies in da mail?
Well I do.
When a box comes to my house I get so excited and I ruuuuuuun to da 
kitchen table to has my fotos taken...I almost always pee on myself too...
just in cases ya'll wanted to knows dat.

Uh anyways, da boxes is always fur me...90% of da time unless my dad orders books cuz he be a bookaphile...but dis ain't about him and mum never gets packages...bwhahahaha.
Okay, sorry i just had to throw all dat in fur some reason.

So imagine my delight when a package came to my house.
I squealed and I done a cute little dance and I raaaaaaaan and gotted on da tabl.
Like dis.....
Hmmmmm, dis be a very UNfamiliar scent.

 "Hurry up mum so I can sees what I gotted...and who it be from too"

"OH MY DOG...did you not hears me woman? Shake a leg will ya?"

So afters i had to wait furs like an eternity, I finally gotted to open da package.
And I was all likes WTF?

I screamed like a little girl....oh, I IS a little girl.

They was BRAS fur mum...bwhahahahahaha!
I just shows ya'll da package cuz da bras is FUGLY...Victoria's Secret they is not.
And I really wouldn't want ya'll to has nightmares.

Still don't know why her ordered bras cuz her boobs ain't real no ways.
Hers boughted 'em.
I gots da feelin' I is gonna gets my A$$ kicked.
They is nuttin' off limits on heres...hehehehe.

I really don't has no moral fur dis story udder than don't send me no bras.

Trust me, I done nows.

Puddles

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Off To School I Goes

Well, today is officially da Back To School Bash.
I is excited.
 I even went school supply shoppin'...cuz dats what you is suppose to do fur school.

lemme sees was we has heres....
I gotted rubberbands...thems fur sling shots,
I gotted thumb tacks fur some unsuspectin' teacher,
I gots scissors just cuz I ain't suppose to has sharp objects,
 crayons to draw funny piktures of whatevers I want.
Da chicken ain't new but it must come to school too,
and my blankie dat I be sittin' on in case I needs a nap...Madi's mom made it just furs me.
Oh and some snacks too.
I is gonna needs a hall pass soon to go pee. 
But if somebuddy could bring straws fur spit balls dat would be nice.

And I is gonna hopefully get it all in da snazzi backpack customed made by Sarge and his mom.

It suits me doncha think?

It also be very important to gets new school clothes too.
I sent da kerazy Lady to do dat and she failed me miserably.
So I hads my new outfit made by my awesome Mimi and Auntie C...
...cuz they knows how to sew...unlike some udder nameless hooman dat I won't mention.

 Oh my dog look at da time.
I gotta go gets my new school clothes on.
Be right back.
Ya'll don't go no wheres.



Is ya'll still theres?



How bout nows?


No peekin'...I is nekkid.


Just one more little thingy




BAAAAAAAM!
New school clothes!
 I is your CLASS CLOWN.
Bwhahahahahaha...I designated myself dat position thank you very much.
I has da feelin I gonna spendin' alotta time in da princi-pal's office.
(I had a clown nose but I couldn't breath.)

Okays I be at da bus stop waiting and singin....
..." Da wheels on da bus go round and round"


And don't furgets I is rafflin' off a most exquite scarf from
Madi's mom to help withs da Houston Pittie Pack.
Such beautiful detail


Puddles...Class Clown
PS: Anybuddy knows what time recess is?