Wednesday, May 22, 2013

My Wednesday post

Hellos everybuddy and welcome back to Puddlesland.

Nows ya'll is prolly wonderin' what I has been doin' since
I has been away hasn't ya'll?
Well, I has been good...no, really I has.

Dis huge ginormuss box came.
And I was all likes "OMG DAT A FREAKING SHIT LOAD OF TREATS FUR ME!!!!!!"
But then I realized it was FURNITURE...BLEH!
Notice what dat box says?
It do say "TEAM LIFT".
It not say..."Kerazy Lady Pick It Up With One Arm".
Some hoomans just not believes in Team Work or they just not
wanna wait till Daddy gets home.

Anyways, it was a new desk fur My Girl and I ain't got no fotos
cuz it was not really worth my time to fotograph it since it wadn't mine.

Howevers, da next day anudder humongus box came.
And OMD I gotted a brand new swirly chair!
A NEW CHAIR fur My Girl to push me in.
Okays it be her chair but I plays in it when her is not home
and well, when her is home too.

I has da Girl triained just like I likes.
I tells her to push me...
"PUUUUUUUUSH ME GIRL!"

 ...and her pushes me.
 And then I likes to say yell out "WEEEEEEEEEEEE"
throughout da house, it is total fun balls.

And what I especially likes is dat da new swirly chair be da perfect
height fur me to looks out of da door window to checks on my 'hood.
Very good to leave my snot prints too.
Nows I seems to be stuck...da Girl just lefted me heres.
If anybuddy sees a Girl bout yay high with scraggly hair
can you send her back fur me please?


Please go and check out Susie and Sidebites blog to find out
how you can helps withs da animals in Oklahoma after da
devastating tornado.

Puddles

Monday, May 20, 2013

Hellos!

Hellos dear ones, tis I Puddles D. Rainwater.
I has no real post today but I did wants to 
let everybuddy knows I shall return on Wednesday
fur more editions of my life.
We has had tons and gobs of stuffs goin' on cuz it be da end
of da school year and fur some reason da school likes to 
pack everything in at dis time from projects to school functions.
Aaaaaaaand mum's HELLbow has made a turn fur da worser (I do mean WAY worse) 
and her will be havin' surgicals soon but I tells all bouts dat laters.
So in da meantime I is readin' your posties but "somebuddy" can't
seem to leave many comments cuz they scream out in pain when typin'...whatevers.
So I has comments turned off cuz it do be only fairs.
So until Wednesday...think of me and how bored I is.

Oh and a foto of me so nobuddy furgets me.
See, dats me...BORED!

Puddles D. Rainwater

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Puddles VS. Mr. Other Cable Man

My dear luverly furiends I hates to do dis to ya'll but mum is gonna be doin' 
dis heres post bouts my encounter withs Mr. Other Cable Man.
I knows, I knows it will prolly be borin' as hell but I has included some 
glamour shots of my beautiful self if ya'll gets bored. 
And also, whatevers subliminal messages you sees in red, say it out loud as you read.

So it seems Puddles apparently bit Mr. Other Cable Man.
We had quite a few different cable men at our house to fix our cable issues.
For some reason, it takes three different people to paint lines to show where the cable goes.
One man came and was in the back yard with Puddles and Albert.
Puddles approached him for him to rub her belly and after that she never once bothered him.
PUDDLES GOOD DOG
The next day I left the dogs in the back yard because I knew I would only be gone briefly
and for safety reasons I never leave the dogs alone outside...but this time I did infortunately.
When I pulled in the driveway Mr. Other Cable Man came right up to me and asked me if I could put the dogs in the house. I said sure but don't worry they will not bite unless you are a ground hog.
He quickly shot back in his Russian accent..."Oh but it did bite me!"
In the back of my mind I was thinking it was Whitney.
I asked him which dog and he said..."It was the little bitty brown dog...I stuck my foot under the gate and it latched on"
PUDDLES GOOD DOG

 I was beyond shocked and to be honest I really didn't believe him.
It bothered me the rest of the day that Puddles could actually do something like that.
She may be a loon, she may jump on the table, she may give me eat shit looks, she may steal food,
she may despise baths, she may be a tad on the hyper side, she may be bark to hear her on voice,
(you can stop nows mum)
but a vicious dog, NO.
PUDDLES GOOD DOG

If you knew Puddles in real life you would agree that she is an extremely loving dog, she
loves to be around people and children. She even adores being carried around like a baby.
(Mum dats enoughs)
To be honest,  Puddles actually has a wonderful temperament and personality.
(really mum you can stop nows)

However, Mr. Other Cable Man came back the next day to rebury the cable and I have 
never seen Puddles turn like that...every hair n her was sticking straight up and she made sure every tooth was visible along with growling and snarling at this man.
Her reaction was something I have only seen on TV.
PUDDLES GOOD DOG
I have never seen her react like that, not even when she has killed prey.
I was not home when the first encounter occurred so I have no idea if he provoked her or not.
I am completely in awe by the incident I saw with Puddles.

SO that is the jist of what happened and don't worry, the dogs will never be left alone again...EVER!
PUDDLES GOOD DOG

*
Well da dude just pissed me off. He shouldn't has been goin stickin' his foot under my gate.
And besides he was wearin' dis goofy hat too...it looked stoopid.
Okays, clap your paws fur mum cuz she done...YAY!!!!!!!
(mum, you can goes away nows)
Nows wasn't dat just a dandy of a story?
Mum says it betters not evers happen again though.

Puddles...GOOD DOG

Monday, May 6, 2013

THEY ARE GONE!

Hellos my furiends!
Well dis weekend da weather was horrific, it rained like cows and buffalos.
But dog gone it was still a most wonderful and beautiful weekend.
Da bestest one I has had in a long long time!!

Why you ask?
Da STOOPID'S IS GONE!!!!!!!
THEY IS GONE, THEY IS REALLY GONE!!!!!!

Nows fur my new furiends lemme explain da Stoopid's.
They is not good neighbors.
They is not good to their animals...they gets no attention, vet care, and they roam
da streets withs nobuddy looking fur 'em.
 Dis here little dog was in our yard withs anudder one...they both hadded to be euthanized 
cuz of lack of vet care.

Here be anudder dog dat always liked to eascape when da female was in heat
cuz he was still intact.

I wish I had all da time in da world to tells ya'll how miserable it has been
withs them livin' beside us...how many times da popo has been called and they always would 
park in my driveway.
SEE.....
And da "traffic"dat be comin and goin' at all hours of da day. Seriously, I is no idiot...I know what goes on when a car pulls up withs no tag and da passenger be da only one gettin' out...duh.
And not to mention da many times da grandkids threw stuffs over da fence to kill us.
And da times My Girl had to listen to a vast amount of colorful vocabulary words courtesy of them.
Let's not furgets da time da mudder of da kids has cussed out both of my peeps.
Believe me, there be way more stuffs but these just be examples.

So needless to say, I am FREAKIN' happy as all get out nows dat they is gone.
I so happy I wanna dance and swing from da chandeliers and celebrate in style.
I also made mum take some fotos fur me so I could always remember dis special day.

 Such a beautiful sight...trunk open to fill up da car withs their shit.

 I would has offered to help but it was rainin'.

It's time to celebrate nows...WOOOOOHOOOOOO!

You can read more bouts da Stoopid's here and here.
oh and here
Puddles...neighborless

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Box FUlls Fur ME

Hellos my luverly furiends.
It is I Puddles bringin' you a anudder post bouts ANUDDER box of stuffs fur me.
Yep, sho nuff...Miss Ruby da Airedale and hers Ma sent me stuffs
and it wasn't to helps mum feels betters with hers elbow or nuttin' likes dat.
No siree bob, it was all fur me.
If you not knows Ruby then you must go meets her cuz her be crackin' me up all da time!

Just looks at ALL dis stuffs I gotted!

OMD... I SMELLS BULLY STICKS!!!!!!!!
(even thoguh I has been deprived and nevers had one I can still smell)
 SNIFF...SNIFFF...
Oh my...can ya'll smells dat?
It has such a nice aroma.
 "Gives me da bully stick NOWS woman and no one will gets hurt!
And next time...don't cut my feets off. "

 "Thank you mum!"

It be very important to holds you bully stick down.
 Nows heres all my goodies.
I gots Yumzies but I already opened 'em to taste test.
I gots a doxie magnet and air freshners dat looks just likes ME furs da car I not allowed to drive.
I also gotted wine coasters withs a doxie on it...Ah, dang...dats fur mum.
Her drinks wine furs medicinal purposes to helps da HELLbow pain...wink, wink.
And then a little sumtin' fur My Girl too.
It be a mini me.
Nows I will be withs My Girl at school to protect hers.
Her adores it and all da kids be askin' bouts it.
"OH MY DOGSH WHERESHS THESESH BEEN ALL MY LIFE?
(sorry my mouf is full)

Here be Brudder Albert with his.
 Sissy Whitney gotted one too but her was outside.

Thanksh you Mish Ruby and Ma furs shendin' me shuch great shtuffs.
It SOOOOOOO made me feels betters fur havin' to deals withs mum...hehehe.
I just loves ya'll to pieces!

Da End....
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA...ya'll sees what I done there?
I said da End and showed ya'll my butt...hehehehehe...cuz it's da end.
Done a split too.
Oh I does crack myself ya knows.

Oh my bad, it ain't da end....
Lots of ya'll asked bouts da "color" painted and many of ya'll done guessed it.
It's WHITE!!!!
Well, Polar Bear to be exact but white is white in my opinion.
I prefers to call it Blah!

Puddles