Thursday, May 20, 2010

This Ain't Mr. Rogers Neighborhood



Hello everybuddy, thank you fur joining me today. I hope all is well in your neighborhood cuz it sure ain’t Mr. Rogers neighborhood where I lives. Since I am constantly slamming my neighbors I thought I’d explain why. I’m not even really sure where to begin but I can tell you this will be broken down into separate posts cuz it’s rather looooong. So you might as well go grab a cup of mojo and go pee furst. And since I obviously couldn’t actually get any pictures of da Neighbors (Don't think I didn't try though)I will include pictures of ME fur your viewing pleasure.

Another view of their de-VINE fence.

Let me just gives a little background info furst. They is renting their casa so they has a landlord , Mr. and Mrs. Neighbor moved in furst then later da grandkids and their mom moved in. AND if you happens to run into my neighbors and they ask you bouts me, you say, Puddles who?” Got it? Thanks, don’t want me to get in any kinds of trubles. Ha, who am I kidding? Anyway, on with da show.

I shall tell you bout da grandkids furst. Yes, I know it’s just not right to talk bout somebuddy’s kids but wait till you get a load of this stuffs. Keep in mind that they is only 4 and 5 years old…young but old nuff to know betters, I think. Since I don’t know their names I will refer to them as Younger Boy and Older Boy.


ME

One time they was out in da street (believe me, this is not a street you play in cuz it a most busy area since it is downtown)and my dad ushered them out of da street to keep them safe. Well here come they mom flying out of da house screaming and cussing out my dad. Her even called him a f%#ing racist…my dad loves all breeds of people so I’m really not sure where that came from. This lady wouln’t stop with her ranting so dad threatened to call da popo, but luckily her settled down.

Then one time while my mum was gone da kids was throwing these humongus rocks over da fence at US. I’m not talking little pebble rocks either, they weighed like 500 pounds 5 pounds give or take a pound or two. Mum discovered da rocks when her gots home but she didn’t have no proof cuz she wouldn’t take my word (I wonder why). They haves thrown other things over da fence that just didn’t quite make it like a wig, a mop, a bucket, toys, and pieces of wood.

Now these hoodlums kids are usually unsupervised so they basically roam like stray doggies. One week my dad was out of town and my mum thoughts her was gonna pull her furs out with their shenanigans. Well, I told mum to haves a stiff drink and I would take cares of da situation but hers said that would be very irresponsible of hers…now, I’m not sure if she was talking bout da drink or me. While dad was away adding to our financial pot wasting time working da boys kept coming over onto MY driveway with their tricycles to ride…in MY driveway. This went on fur days. Then several times Younger Boy would come up and run up and down and up and down on MY our front porch. He would even look in our front door cuz it’s all glass. Later on my mimi and papa came over and pulled in da driveway right when Younger Boy threw dirt all overs my mum’s Honda Lambourgini. My mimi said sumptin to him but he said he didn’t do it…uh, little boy her saw you do it. So I said to mum,” Let me at da little peepsquek”. But mum said sumptin bought Animal Control would be brought in (and I am in no way condemning condoning bitting of small children…but, I am ever so thankful fur that dictionary Albert let me borrow in learning such big words).


ME again

I know ya’ll is prolly wondering how come my mum nevers went to talk to any adults bout da on going situation. Her had lots of reasons or so she said. Da furst and most important reason was her feared fur da boys physical safety, da previous confrontation between they mom and my dad, mum was home alone at da time and wasn’t sure bout any kinds of repercussions (big word), and they haves lots of TRAFFIC at their house (I hope you know where I’m going with that). Let me put it like this…many, many cars come to their house throughout da day, passenger gets out and goes to da door while da driver waits…passenger is gone fur a few minutes and returns and they leave…and we never sees their car again. Basically mum wasn’t sure what her options were.

Moving along now, da next day everything started again with da boys coming in our yard so mum sucked it up and went da popo (mum couldn’t haves them on our property cuz of liability reasons). So, her goes to da pop and explained everything in detail AND told them her didn’t want her name mentioned to no buddy what so evers. Ok, fine and dandy. Mum gets home and Mr. Neighbor comes knocking on our door telling mum if hers has a problem to come and lets them know…huh. He apologized profusely afters mum explained what in all had been going on and he claimed he had no idea of what da boys had been doing. Mum told him da kids wasn’t exactly his responsibility and he shouldn’t be da one to apologize, they haves a mother that needs to be paying attention to them. But, da questions, what made Mr. Neighbor come apologize?

That's ME again

Since this has been such a long post I will spare ya’ll da details of da night long parties, da fight between Mrs. Neighbor and da boys mom, da time my mum called da pop cuz their friends were in da street screaming and Man Friend hit Woman Friend.

So I hope your butts aren’t numb now. Now if anybuddy has ideas on how to have an American deported let me know. And I hop ya’ll will be ready fur more Neighbor news next week…can you stand anymore?


This is fur Lucky


THE END

Peace Out,
Puddles


27 comments:

Lola said...

That is quite a story, Puddles. Things were pretty quiet on our street by the time I arrived, but there are some interesting stories about a family that lived here forever before that. And they owned the house and and the criminals had grown up right here. Long story short, after months and months of a police car spending every day right across the street from the house, they all moved away. And that was good. I hope something like that happens with your neighbors and soon.

wags, Lola

Petsitgal said...

Puddles, I must say that you need to get an interview as a newscaster for the Today Show or something beclaws you are very good at explaining stuffs. It sounds super suspicious to have all of that hoodlum stuffs going on and if I were you I would bark and bark all day long to annoy the neighbors OR I would call 911 (I heard that dogs and small humans can hit those buttons so I'm sure you can too). Think about the barking thingy and the 911 thing and get back to me on that! Okay?

Oh, by the way, you should get a button from the lady at Creative Blog Designs and then I could bring you over to my blog and visit forever and ever! My mom says your blog is super funny and creative and thinks everyone needs to read it!

Kira The BeaWootiful said...

Wooos Puddles! That was an interesting story, Mum says it reminds her of an old house and why she moved...something about a cracked street??? Anyway.. I think woo should have bitten them... sounds like they deserved it.
Moms are too protective of our teeth!
~husky kisses~
-Kira The BeaWootiful

Frankie Furter said...

Holy Cat Crap Puddles... And I thought my neighbors were Cracker Dawg Crazy... all they do is Pray over everything.. and I mean EVERYTHING. They doen't even let their kids go to a real school. Soooooo then I read all about your neighbors and... whooooooie mine don't sound so bad at all.
I think the popo need to be spending a LOT more time there. Those poor boys are not learning anything good and may be in danger.
Please don't YOU try to fix this though. You stay away and ignore them. And most especially,,,,,,,,, do NOT EVER EVER EAT ANYTHING THAT YOU FIND IN YOUR YARD. I'm thinkin' they might try to give you something to make you sick.
Keep us posted.

Sallie said...

They threw rocks at you? Those devils!

I think we need to get you a new, pretty, super tall fence! Maybe some really big bushes?

Hide those hoodlums! :)

Three Dogs Long said...

Holy kitty crap, Puddles! That story is better 'n CSI!!
Anyhoo, we is very fortunate to have pawsome furburs (well, except of Luci(fier) the lioness next door who keeps "stealing" our field mice!)

(((Hugs)) your friends
Oskar, Schatzi & Xena

Remington said...

WOW, I guess I should appreciate the fact that our neighborhood is so quiet. Sounds like yours is NOT! You tell the story well, my friend!

Ina in Alaska said...

If they were my neighbors I would look up the property owner and give him/her a call. In our neck of the woods the police are required to tell the name of the complainer to the person they contact. I learned that the hard way several years ago when we had 2 neighbors clogging up our cul de sac by parking their 2 humongous motor homes (and not moving them or going far away EVER in them) one summer. The motor homes were ticketed and both neighbors were pretty mad at me..... ouch. Things got cleared up but it was such a pain to see those huge homes on wheels day in and day out.

One of these days I will do a post about my former neighbor who was a hoarder. There were even 2 junk cars in her yard and one in her driveway!!! It had no wheels on it!! Her home was sold last October to a contractor for a very very very low price. The contractor basically is gutting it (he should have knocked it down) but it is looking better every day...

DoDo and MoMo said...

Very interesting read ^^;

We think you should go nip on their ankles and herd them like sheep . . .

Cheryl, Indiana, Shingo and Molly said...

We've had some mighty bad neighbors ourselves, Puddles. In fact, we have somes right now, so we know how you feel. Hang in there. Maybe they will moves soon!

Woofs and Kisses!
The Fiesty Three

Tank said...

Puddles - no dog should have to put up with this. I think Ina has the best idea. These idiots sound like a landlords worst nightmare. Is he/she aware of the kind of low-lifes who are living there??

Sammy and Andy said...

MEOWZA!!!!!!!!!!! We are so unhappy to hear you have such terrible neighbors. Looks mighty suspicious with all the comings and goings.......we think there needs to be some police surveillance!!!!

We live in an apartment so we at times run across some very interesting types also.......luckily at present we have really nice neighbors all around us.

We love you guys.....xxxxxxxx

mayziegal said...

Puddles - I thinks you and Whitney and Albert should start your own gang! (Have I mentioned this before?) Anyway, if you gots leather jackets and started puffing on those candy cigarettes, I bet you'd skeer your neighbors clean away! I mean, who would wanna mess with a Gang O' Doxie?

We live on a pretty nice street but mom says it should be called "Fertility Drive" cuz peoples are dropping litters of human babies all the time. The lady that used to lives next door had 7 kids under the age of 9; and another lady had 6 kids; and the lady at the far end of the street had ELEVEN that were from 4 - 21 years old. AND her husband man had decided he didn't want to be married anymore so he left her with all those kids. Whew! And the bad thing about human litters is you can't just give 'em away to another good home.

Anywho, lets me know if you wanna start a gang and I'll be right over.

Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie

kissa-bull said...

our old neighbor use to play loud music by himself in the garage which was next to my window on tuesdays and wednesdays til like 4 in da morning. we are furry happish we have moved to a quiet zon.please to be careful puddles and like our frankie shayed do not eat anyfing they throw at you even if it looks nommy.do you want ush to go and attack them wiff our most potent toots???

pibble wiggles
the pittie pack

houndstooth said...

Holy Hotcakes! Are you also my neighbor? It sounds like we have similar problems. There are a few differences, but it sounds so familiar! I've been thinking about writing about the Village Idiots for months, but I haven't done it yet. I may have to now!

Bunny

Martha and Bailey said...

Puddles, we are so glad you interspersed your story with pics of you - otherwise we would have been even angrier.
Somehow everytime we saw your sweet little face we calmed down.
Of course that very last pic had our mum jelly!
Anyways back to the matter in paw - this is dreadful - would it help if we bassets came over.
We can howl all through the night if that would help.
We are especially angry that stones were thrown - that is really not on!
We are going to need to borrow the dictionary as we find we don't quite have the vocabulary to articulate our feelings but for now grrrrrrrr!
love
Martha and Bailey xxx

Junior and Orion said...

Oh Puddles.....we know how you feel. We live in an apartment and we have had some not so wonderful neighbors. Meowm has called the police several times, and now she calls our "security" service. The nice thing is that if we call the security service three times the people get evicted. Too bad that wouldn't work for you! We will be purring for your safety and purring that those people move on and you get some great neighbors.

P.S. We could send some bags of poo to leave for them. Orions' is bad enough to make their eyes burn! ;)

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Whew, that was quite the tale, Puddles. It was a great read, we just hope your neighbors aren't blogger savvy or they might figure it all out. Maybe the law will catch on to them and they will move away. Too bad you have to put up with that junk.

And oh yes, those photos of whoever is that pup named ME were quite adorable:)

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

So sad!

It would make fur a good spay/neuter the humans khampaign -

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Maggie Mae said...

Hi Puddles,
I'm Maggie Mae, nice to meet you! I have seen you around the bloggie neighborhood and thought I would come by and introduce myself. I hopes that we can be friends, stop by and see me sometime.
OMD it sure sounds like you and your peoples have quite a problems on your paws. My dad has some relatives with the last name of Genovese, do you want me to calls them for you?

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

A MilShelb Mom said...

Wow! You have some crazy neighbors. We have pretty good neighbors. We think we might annoy them but maybe not. Our 6 year old neighbor even comes to the fence and barks at us! lol Anyhow, interesting neighbors... and NICE pictures! Can't wait to hear more.
Milly and Shelby

Lorenza said...

Hi, Puddles!
Sure you have "interesting" neighbors!
I guess it is better to stay away from them!
I wish I had an idea to get rid of them!
Take care
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

hero said...

Hi Puddles,

Thanks for dropping by... you three are gorgeous... boy, you sure have your paws full dealing with pesky neighbors... hope the situation improves after the confrontation.

Licks, hero

little princess Luna~ said...

hey puddie poo~!

omd those little brats are HORRIBLE~! WTF?? maybes you should go and poop in their yard?

mum and i loved the "call the popos" part. we BOL~!!

XO,
luna

ps. sorry, i didn't see teh awards you gives me. but i still keeps it. :)

Life With Dogs said...

Holy crap! Can you call America's Most Wanted and claim that they look like wanted bank robbers? ;)

the booker man said...

holy cats, miss puddles! you totally have crazy neighbor peeps!!
i asked my mama and daddy, and they said if you wanted and if your mama and daddy said it was alright, that ya'll could pick up your house and move it over next to me and asa's. then we could play all the time, and i promise we won't be crazy like your current neighbors!
*woof*
the booker man

JackDaddy said...

Sometimes it's just sad to see how people treat one another - especially when they have young children. And it's hard to deal with neighbors who haven't learned how to be good neighbors!

Keep us informed!