Monday, March 19, 2012

Corey da Cabbage

(Shawnee cover your eyeballs furs dis post)

 My Girl camed home from school da udder day withs a cabbage furs a project.
They has to grow 'em and sees how much they watered them and measure them and all dis stuffs.
Her named him Corey da Cabbage...and I has no idea why but hers did.

Wells, I has always considered myself a meat and taters kinda girl
You know likes squirrel meat, chipmunk meat etc.

dat fateful afternoon Corey da Cabbage was left all alone...
...with nobuddy watchin' him...
nobuddy around...


It was most delish but it could has used a tad bit of salt.

Then my mum camed outside and said "Puddles, what the BLEEP have you done?"
And I said "I not do NUTTIN'"...but unfortunately I still I hads dirt on my nose so I was like totally busted.

THEN da Girl came outside and hers was so disappointed in me and her was all sad and then it made me all sad and mum tried to makes it all betters and tolded da girl dat I not knows any betters cuz I was a dog (WTF?) and then da girl said...
"She's not a dog, she's Puddles"

Gosh, I LOVES My Girl!

Later I went to Lowe's and boughts her...with mum's MY allowance...more cabbages so nows her has BUNCHES of Corey Jrs.


UPDATE: on Corey Jr's

I is a terrible dog...and they gives me da farts too.
Yes fans, I eated da Corey Jr's too.
I thinks I has a problem...OMD, am I turnin' into a vegetation?


houndstooth said...

Bwaaaaa ha ha! If I had my deer leg, we could have made a tasty Deer Salad! Oh, Puddles, I am laughing so hard, I can barely see the keyboard. I think in this case,you might be wise to go with the "she's just a dog" defense.

Um today's the 19th... How many paws am I holding up? We'd better sort this part out before Kuster sends you the answers for the SAR test!


Madi and Mom said...

Puddles my mom is mad with you now. She has laughed so hard all her eye make up is on her cheeks and let me just say she is a sight.

OMD Puddles there must be a program to help Cabbage hounds get over their fascination with cabbages. As mom was reading she said "Oh Puddles, cabbages are not user friendly", then she saw that you had discovered that all by your lonesome.

Dear me what ever with you girl do about her project....ahhh I have it maybe she can measure the out put of 'gas'!! If you get my drift.

Mom please go wash your face
Hugs from your BFFF,

Maggie Mae said...

My Dear Puddles,

Even with dirt on your face you is beOOtiful.
I am sorry I has not been around much, our mom has been very neglectful and selfish lately cuz her is puttin' her schedule ahead of ours...some nerve!


Madi and Mom said...

Puddles it is I, Madi, again. Mom is all cleaned up and very thankful that we weren't connected to Skype this morning!! Anyways she meant to tell you that when my sis was your girl's age Mom bought her a hanging plant for her very own. My sis named it Cindy Musselwhite. Seems little two leggers are big on naming EVERYTHING.
Hugs from an admiring fanny,

Declan said...

Puddles stop being such a drama dog. I'm willing to bet the cabbage doesn't make you fart nearly as much as the beer does... and boy does that make you fart! Me too, but I'm a boy and it's expected! You ever tried a "sunday dinner sandwich"? Roast beef, cabbage & mash potato between 2 slices of bread. Bl**dy fantastic! Deccy x

Lovable Lily said...

All I can say this morning is Ut~Oh!

Lily Belle

Amber DaWeenie said...

Ah, Puddles, would you like some beer and Cheetos to go wit da cabbages??? is true to da Weenie breed! Yip-Pee! Keeps up da good work!

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

OMD OMD PU(DUBBLE D)les and I STRESS the PU pawt.. since I am sure I can smell your Cabbage PHARRRRTS clear up on my hill.

HOW in the Squirrles do you EVER expect your girrrrl to get aHEAD in her school work if you keep eatin her PawJects???

You are gonna have to get to the ROOT of this New Addiction.

Now Fork over some of YOUR kibble allowance and send your mom fur ANOTHER Cabbage Patch.
and THIS time LEAF em alone.

~Shelle said...

Tell your mom that she owes me a new keyboard.
I just spewed hot tea all over mine after seeing the pictures of the little Corey, Jrs.


Casey said...

Oh Puddles, how could you? Eating veggies?! And Your Girl's veggies, no less!

Still, one might say that your mom wasn't too bright leaving Corey Jr.s where you could get to them...

Mr. Pip said...

Bawahahaha! Better be careful with that cabbage or you will end up like me with some issues from the other end. I have been known to eat a vegetable or two - not so bad as a snack before the burger and fries.

Your pal, Pip

Sam and Pippen said...

Cabbages??? We bet everyone was calling you a little stinker yesterday!

Sam and Pippen

jen said...

First of all Puddles I can't believe you Mom used the word bleep, doesn't she know she is is suppose to say a bad word here? (lol)
and second WTH? didn't the first cabbage give you the farts?

Max the Quilt Cat said...

Yep.... I think you are a vegetabletarian for sure. I think you should buy lots and lots of cabbages and maybe hide a couple for da girl...

pawhugs, Max

charlene and Storm said...

fantastic story, i just laughed my head off! i dont blame you at all puddles, its obviously there fault for not putting them out of reach, LOL!!! you big fart pants xxx

Erin T said...


Team Beaglebratz said...

Oh Puddlez
We Beaglebratz, az Secretariez of Social Networkin’fer Blogville, r furry much concerned ‘boutz this …. uhhh … situashun u find yourself in. Yes, we think u shood nip it in the bud (he he we made a funny – all them little cabbages u ate – budz) yes, well on with our plan. Az we sed, bein’the Secretariez of Social Networkin’we think u shood seek IMMEDIATE help fer your “problem” an’we volunteer our servicez tu b-come your counselor and sponsor tu help u overcome your “attractshun" tu the cabbage.
Shiloh'n Shasta
your Secretariez of Social Networkin'
ready tu counsle an'sponsor

Brian said...

You just need some corned beef and yo would be all set Puddles!

harrispen said...

Puddles, you don't want your girl to get an F on her project do you? Please make sure if more little cabbages are acquired that they are put out of your reach this time.


Remington said...

Sorry to hear you are in is so unlike you....ha ha!

GOOSE said...

Puddles. I thought cabbage was for St. Patrick's Day. What, did you have some green beer left over and you needed a reason to chug it down? You know what you could do, go to the grocery store and buy one already grown then your girl can take that to class and they will think she is some miracle cabbage grower. Then she gets an "A" then it's off to some ivy league school. Next thing ya know she is president of Future Farmers of America. And she would owe it all to Miss Puddles for helping her with the cabbage. Yep I think that will work out just fine.

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

Of COREse I just Had to HEAD back over here to see what everybuddy Else was sayin about this...

I think that you should have your mom plant an entire ROW of Cabbage fur you... Then when the Squirrels come to investigate you could wrap them in the leaves and plunk em in some tomato juice .. throw in some rice and have Cabbage and Squirrel Rolls... OMD.... THOSE would be DELICIOUS... Skin em furst though. Can't have THAT much fiber.

Sarge said...

Hey Puddles!
Wow, I'm so surprised that your peeps didn't learn the first time! And they say WE can be thick-headed. SHESH. Considering your height issues, there ought to be someplace safe for those little plants. Maybe your girl can take in a hot dog with sauerkraut and be done with it!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

Madi and Mom said...

Mom just showed your post to my they are laughing all over again. Dad said only someone who has been owned by a Doxie can relate.
Hugs and thanks again for the MOLs
Hugs Madi

The Websters said...

This is hilarious. We're all barking up a storm over here laughing at you eating CABBAGE?!? I never would have guessed.

Your mom must not be feeding you enough if you are foraging for leafy greens!

We agree that your girl should change her science experiment and measure gas. Great idea.



rottrover said...

Step I: Admit that you are powerless over cabbage and that your life has become unmanageable...


-Bart and Ruby

What Remains Now said...

You almost killed me with this post. We'll need an update on the future Corey's.

Shawnee the Shepherd said...

HACK, HACK, HACK, GAG, BLECH, BLECH, EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! Puddles, that do be the GROSSEST thing I has efur seened. I tried to cofur my eyeballs but well, you know, I just had to snooter on in to see wot you done did now. OK, so I must fess up, mom cannot put plants in the yard becoz I pull them out and dance around the yard with the roots hanging out of my mouf (only coz it be soooo cute) but I do not nom them! I just deaded them. I has a story to tell about your ancestors (and this could eggslpain your cabbage obsesshun) as soon as mom gets done with HER bloggie and lets me work on mine.

Nola said...

BOL!!!! You think your peeps would know after the first one to put the Jrs where you can't get to!
Dachshund Nola

K9 Katastrophie said...

Bol! Puddles you are so funny! Do you eat other things besides cabbage? I like tomatoes!


Hound Girl said...

Oh and cabbage dont go together!!!! LOL your poor little girl!!!! Did your mommy take you to the store when she went to go get more cabbage?! Fred always goes with me there and then this past weekend for some odd reason he started to bay like crazy while walking was horribly embarassing he wouldnt stop. I think he smelt something in the air. - he is banned from home depot for a few weeks :)

Junior, Orion and Sammy said...

We hope you aren't turning into a vegetation!!!

Oh Puddles, you really mustleave the cabbages alone.....but also the humans must put them where you can't get them!

Bassetmomma said...

Oh, Puddles! What have you done! Well, you made me LMAO!! That part about that's not a dog that brought tears to my eyes! I think you could get away with anything!!

Gloria Hood said...

Oh my goodness! After spending a whole evening with my parents, who ate cabbage Sat, I can only imagine how it smelt over at your house! I wouldn't touch that stuff if it had cheeto dust rubbed all over it! YUCK!
Hope you are over the PHARTS by the time you come to my party! BOL BOL
Lovies, Miss Mindy

chicamom85 said...

Puddles, I am kind of a thief myself, so I really can't say too much. Mom dropped a hunk of watermelon last night and I ran all over the house and then made a big mess, behind the couch. I do feel kind of sad for your girl and maybe you could give her a break and try to control this addiction you seem to have. I will be happy to attend the support group meetings. I won't sit close to you however if you have just had an attack as the gas fumes might be too overwhelming. I will wave from across the room and cheer you on.

Loveys SashA

chicamom85 said...

OMD Frankie, cabbage and squirrel rolls, when is dinner ready????? I will take some gas-X as I don't want to embarrASS myself with Remington, but otherwise I am there. My mouth is totally watering right now.

Loveys Sasha

scotsmad said...

Oooooooo Puddles. Hope your family has NO ideas about putting in a vegie garden this year. It wouldn't be no bunnies eating the crops.....

On the other hand, maybe they could harness all that natural gas!

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Macintosh Mitch said...

OOPS! I figured you have learned your lesson the first go around, Puddles. Oh well!

Love ya lots,

Cole said...

OMD, Puddles! I'm so sorry for your girl...but that is hilarious!

Jan's Funny Farm said...

You did WHAT, Puddles? To your girl? Oh, Puddles....

Ronnii, Uji & Izzy ( & Momma Tea ) said...

Ohhhh Puddles, yoo always givs us da giggly fits. Da poor Coreys is all ated ups butt at east yoo has gotten yor five a day !
No matters wots yoo do yor girl will always lovs yoo jus likes we does.
Izzy, Uji n Ronnii (& Sidney)
xxx xxx xxx xxx
PeeS. Ronnii & Sidney dont needs no Coreys to makes dem toot like crazy dems does it naturally PHEW !

Sweet William The Scot said...

No Puddles you are not turning into a vegan you are turning in a stinker!
Sweet William The Scot

ABBY said...

Oh noes Puddles not a bed-chew-bull.
Da dirt I udderstands but a bed-chew-bull?


Mr. Pip said...

Bawhahahahaha! Yes, she just might plant cabbage. The trick is she needs someone to dig out the backyard for her garden. She doesn't want to do it because she might hurt her back. So, basically she wants papa to do the hard work and then she will sprinkle some seeds.

Your pal, Pip

P.S: Trust me, her gardening skills are about the same as her baking skills. If we get one cabbage, we will be lucky!

Pibble said...

Bwaaaaaa!!!!! Why do you make me laugh so hard, Puddles????? You bad little girl!

Two French Bulldogs said...

Oh no! Momma is going to need a gas mask
Benny & Lily

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Puddles, you did it again, you made Mom laugh so hard she almost made a puddle:) Any chance your family has a supply of gas masks? BOL

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Ooops! I kinda had a feeling Corey Jrs. were going to meet a 'violent farewell.' I guess your girl isn't going to be getting downwind of you any time soon, huh? Heehee!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Barbara said...

OMD, Puddles! First you eat your girls project...then you do it again? How many beers have you had? I can imagine you're going to have to sleep in a well ventilated room for a while...pee yew!

Tweedles -- that's me said...

Gosh Puddles- do we need to do an intervention so you stop eating those poor little cabbages?
Are you addicted?

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Oops. You're an addict, Puddles. Worse, is your girl going to fail her school project because of you? Sounds like time for your dad to build a Puddles-proof cage to protect the next set of Corey, Jrs. Not that we wouldn't do the same thing ourselves, given the chance. We graze frequently in our backyard. On our backyard. Whatever.

Jed & Abby

Kaunis Nelli said...

Oh Puddles, I'm laughing out loud.... Last spring I planted basil and when they got bigger Nelli started to eat them. I wasn't laughing then though...

I hope your Girl forgives you!

Mango said...

Miss Puddles,
I see no problem here. Cabbages are for consumption, not naming and raising like a puppy. I mean, seriously, what did she think would happen when the cabbage grew up? Clicker training? Cabbage agility? I think not. That little dude was destined for digestion from day one.

Toot toot!


♥Mona + Weenie + Mommy, too♥ said...

Puddles, Puddles!! Girl, your girl must really love ya lots to let you get away with that twice.

Frankie said he could smell something way up on his hill. I sorry you gots the farts from tht cabbage but don't let thsat botther you I get farts that drive folks out of the house.

I'd say Sniff ya later but I me already do......Weenie

Anonymous said...

BOL! OMD! I can't believe you at ALL of the Coreys BOL! Oh you are way too much. Puddles Puddles Puddles ROFLMTO!!! And it wasn't even St. Paddy's day? Hardy Har Har Har

Still snickerin

Waggin at your bad self,

Minna Krebs said...

Ohmydogness! You ATE your poor girl's school project......TWICE! Now, I suspect da school authorities, and maybe even da Principal, will be showing ups at your house for an investigation.

I heard of da well-worn excuse "My dog ate my homework". I guess your sweet girl can just show her teacher your blog as proof!

Minna Krebs said...

Since I am a wee bit late in commenting.....I done had the opportunities to review all da comments. I think no one has pointed out da obvious here. How comes your mom gots all these fotos of your criminal act against Corey? You was obviously set up, in hopes of a foto opportunity for da Crazy Camera lady! Or, at least her was a co-conspirator in this event.

Peggy Frezon said...

Oh Puddles....I don't know what it is that is so tasty about cabbage, I've had it and it's not all that yummy. I think your girl is going to have to put her school project up high out of your reach.

Give your girl an extra snuggle to make up for it!

KB said...

Oh Puddles.... Of course you love you're girl. You're the "Puddles" and you ain't "just a dog".

Maybe you need to buy yourself some cabbage for munching and your girl some cabbage for her project. What if she flunks her project because of you? You need your very own cabbage to *nibble* on.

Corbin said...

Hey, can you hurry up and make it July 28? I have a birthday card for you that I just can't wait to send. Maybe I'll send it to you and you can keep it until July 28th? But them I'm going to be itching for you to open it. Hm... just hurry up and get another year older, huh?

Jess and Glacier said...


Asta said...

HehehehehehehPuddles, this is bowdewing on a dicshun
Is thewe a stwelve step pwogwam fow vegebawians?

Sheesh, get a gwip giwl, ow come visit me hewe, thewe awe lots of cabbages and one of the vegeball stalls we go to has it stowed just at nose heighth, hehehe
Smoochie kisses and some extwa ones fow youw wondewful giwl


Alfie said...

I guess your mum is going to have to get your girl a bunch of Corey da Thirds! But don't eat them this time!

Corey da Thirds
will give you smelly turds!

Miss HoneyBuzz and The LB said...

Ok, now see heres, this is totally NOT your fault. You was totally framed. They wanted you to fail, oh yes they did! If they didn't want you to fail, they would have puts the nasty cabbages up ways ways ways up!

No sir-ee. You stands you ground and holds your head high!! Puddles was framed!!

But please, no come near me with stinky cabbage butt, ok? Thanks. -HoneyBuzz

Bobbi said...

OH PUDDLES!! If only your mum would feed you!! Then you wouldn't have to go to such extreme lengths to survive. LOL! You are one of a kind, girl! (and I'm sure it's mum's fault for not putting it up higher... right?)
So now, what?

Grady and Leonardo said...

OMD Mom is sitting her with tears running down my face. We feel so bad for your girl, but you certainly have made my mom's evening.

Might be that you need to use some of your Cheetos's money and buy her another pack. This time though, ask you Mom to put them someplace safe while you have your paws over your eyes.

You are the best Ms. P, the BEST!