Note to self: I knows hows excited you is self and you wants to shouts it to da world but stay calm and collect yourself and pretend likes it ain't a big deal...even though it really is.
Ever since I was a itty bity girl...
Float Like A Butterfly Ladybug...Sting like A Bee
Ever since I was a itty bity girl...
{I was itty bity then but nows I just be littles}
...I has hads big dreams.
(Remington, stop heres)
BIG DREAMS of followin' in my ancestors pawprints
to be da best at protectin' and servin' my family and da homestead
when da time comes.
(seriously, don't go no furthers Remington cuz you'll be very disappointd withs me.)
Loyal furiends, fans and stalkers....
yesterday dat dream became a reality furs me.
(OMD, I can barely contain myslef)
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keep on goin' if you ain't squimish
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Feast your eyeballs on dis!
...aaaaall by myself.
Yes sirre bob, I deaded it withs all my 9.5 pounds of muscle and quickyness
up against likes 87 pounds of pure evilness!
And nary a hair was even outta place afterwards (most important).
Foto Lady was OBVIOUSLY NOT prepared furs dis foto shoot cuz I be totally out of focus and da color is waaaay off.
Note to Kerazy Foto Lady: Always be prepared
Nows I honestly can't apologize furs what I doned cuz...wells I is Puddles and dis is what I does and by dog I am a mighty fine hunter if I do say so myself.
Nows befores ya'lls go on thinkin' I be heartless, I wasn't.
We done a little dance togedders 'round in a circle
then it was lights out furs him.
It was quick and painless and then him was deader than a door nail.
Nows, furs my great appreciation to all of ya'll,
ya'll can shares in my bounty and we can has groundhogkabobs at DWM pawty.
Oh and da Kerazy Lady was proud of me and I knows dis cuz hers kept sreaming my name...
PUDDLES...PUDDLES...PUDDLES!!!!!!!!!!
over and over and over again.
So far I has kilt:
1. 2 mices
2. mole
3. chipmunk
4. squirrel
5. ground hog
6. my brudder's self esteem cuz he hasn't deaded nuttin.
Puddles...calls me today furs all your exterminatin' needs.
1-800-KIL-LLER
78 comments:
YUMMO! Get here fast- the charcoal is ready for the groundhogkabobs! Much better than steak!
Omg no scratches on yourself, wow you must have been going to the gym with your mommy! The best part was we danced in a circle and lights out. Bol too funny. I am proud of your mommy for taking photos of it :) love it!
Puddles I suppose you are a Texan at heart. You know us texans we like to hunt :)
Miss Puddles, I am in awe.
Slobbers,
Mango
Wow. Pretty AND fiersome. Lady, you are the whole package... We, too are in awe.
-Bart and Ruby
Errrr Pudds? You know I'm your bestest Irish Greyhound mate and everything don't you, but are you ABSOLUTELY sure that Groundhog wasn't deaded when you found it?! If it wasn't can I send you KC to practice on? Deccy x
OMD OMD OMD....You and me is twins. Me deaded sometin too! Me stepped on an ant in me yard and it was deaded. OMD
We is both terror-ific hunters!!!!
To the Great Warrior Puddles:
Hail to the Groundhog Killin' Queen!! OMD, we are so proud of you.
But what us inquiring minds wanna know now is, did Mom wash your mouth out afterwards? I'm bettin she ain't gonna wanna kiss you for a long, long time.....
Hugs,
Your loyal servant ~ Lily Belle
I guess the Karazy lady will be cookin' up some viddle's later then, huh?
Oh Puddles... your family will never have to go hungry as long as your alive!! haha
Pudds! Now don't be that way! I know you COULD kill it, I just thought the pacifist in you might have meant you didn't, that's all! Come over here and have a Bud. I guess it might look kind of handsome on the living room wall... Deccy x
Has anyone else noticed that the size of the deaded creature has gotten progressively larger as your "skills" have been honed? If I were Albert or Whitney, I'd be looking over my shoulder a LOT more often... Just sayin'.
And, if we ever meet - NO kisses. Groundhog breath. Ugh.
For someone so perdy, you sure are one tough cookie! Are you going to stuff it? Have a great weekend!
Dear Duchess of Deadening,
I (Frankie Furter) Bow DOWN to your Superior Hunting Stalking and Deadening Skills fur sure.
HAIL the MIGHTY and Beautiful HUNTRESS.
Groundhog Kabobs fur the DWM Pawty!
OMD OMD THey will be soooooo delicious. FRESH KILLED is soooooooo much better than Road Kill.
I sincerely HOPE that your MAJOR Take Down will be Properly Stuffied and Mounted and DISPLAYED in a place of HONOR... Where it can be gazed upon every day and night fur the next 87 years.
I am so very much proud of your Skills.
My Dad... Old Sure Shot.. Wants to know if you would like to come to my hill fur DEER SEASON ???
What a mighty huntress you are! I am completely and totally impressed! If Mom and Dad would get a fence in our back yard, I think I'd have several squirrels and rabbits under my collar, but that darned leash keeps interfering with my plans.
Bunny
OH PUDDLES! I was so excited to see your e-mail this morning and I thought about waiting to just read in the ol' Google Reader but I am SO GLAD I came by early in the morning.
You are AWESOME! That groundhog is HUGE!
Do you you could franchise your business? I'll be the first here in Kansas City. We'll make a killing! HA!
Nora
Okay... we now believe there really is a kerazy lady living at your house but it isn't your mom... it's you (if we can really call you a lady.)
You better watch out or the Popo will be knocking on your door soon, you're considered a cereal killer after 3 kills and you've gone and done 6!
Sam and Pippen
Hey Puddles!
Wow, you're one super, duper, cold, calculating, killing MACHINE! Woohooo! Nothing is more satisfying than "brining home the bacon" for your pack. I can almost taste those bobs now. Wow, girl, you are the supreme, complete package: Brains, Beauty, and Braun!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP
Wow. I don't know what to say... but if I could borrow you for a week I bet I wouldn't have any bunny rabbits eating the lettuce in my garden anymore!
Shelle
Owner of 2 lazy wiener dogs
brining...gee, that was supposed to be bringing. Oops. I must be weak from hunger...need a bob!
I think you need to start charging for your services Puddles!
I give your Mom kudos for taking pictures of that, I would of been freaking out!
Alright Mizz Puddles I needs lessons. My human complains about deez coons or somefin that gets in the trash, I don't want to do thems no harms cause they spread the trash on the grounds for me... I'm so thankful for dat, but I think my human doesn't like it =[ what's the four one one on how to take down dem coons?
Sincerely,
Gia
Woo to the hoo!! You are the best hunter ever!! I am in awe, that was a huge 87 pound groundhog!
~Higgins
Dear Puddles,
I am in awe of your hunting skills. Despite the fact that I am a fearsome pigdog, I'm not allowed to dead anything, not even a rat. Only flies and cockies. (I'm not allowed to eat my kills either.) My Typist says daschunds are the best hunters. She had one when she was young and it caught a mama rat that was about to have babies. That sounds a bit sad to me though. I am mostly a peaceable dog.
HUGS, your friend on holiday (who might be going hungry soon because her humans failed to bring enough food and she's not allowed to hunt)...Georgia Little Pea x
Whoa Nellie!! That thing is bigger than you! Mamma thinks groundhogs are cute though. She's kerazy too!
Wiggles,
Calhoun
WAHOOZIEZ COOL-DOOZIEZ! Yep - ya'NEED tu git tu the pawty - like NOWZ! We Beaglebratz r here an'we iz HUNGRY!
You iza lean green deadin'machine!!!!
Shiloh'n Shasta
OK, I am still stuck on you in the ladybug costume ...bawahahhahahaa ...
Oh, and one more thing ...
7. my self-esteem cause I've never killed anything except a couple of ants I stepped on by accident.
WOW! We have an armadillo nearby, wanna get it?
Lovies, Miss Mindy
Hey Puddles it is Friday and that means I late to the party 'cause me peeps eat breakfast out on Fridays.
Any who...I'm so dang proud of you.
There is nothing like the satisfaction of a job well done.
After all you are a Doxie and you were built to hunt badgers and being there are absolutely no badgers in SC you went for the next best thing a ground hog. WTG!!!
Now I have a culinary question, I have your family recipe for squirrel stew..may I substitute ground hog for squirrel in that recipe or does ground hog require different spices?
Hugs from your biggest Admirer and BFFF,
Madi
OMD Puddles, I didn't realize you were such an avid hunter! That is one heck of a groundhog you got yourself there!!!! Glad you at least danced with him first! BOL!
Thank you so much for your kind words for Mommy's friends family. She is having a hard time, as to be expected. My Mommy keeps breaking down too......god help us all when me or Ebby's time comes. Yikes. Daddy should sign her up for a mental institute now!!
Hi Puddles, OMD a groundhog? My dad says that they probably taste like "chicken". No matter, we can get Mitch, Deccy, Sunshade and a few Thuglets and have a little roasted groundhog, some beers and some great wine. Oh yah, you can bring your humans too.
so dreams do come true...
awesome
OMD...
Again...OMD!
I finallys make it to Blogville, and look what you have done! I'm am so impressed with your hunting and deading skills! I think you may have even passed Lucy in the deaded creature count.
Do you do possums? Just checking for my momma
I'm thinking you need to get your trophies mounted up by one of those Taxidermy places.
Just think how pawsome 'your room' would look with all those little taxidermy heads hanging on da wall!! Your mom would love it, too!
1-800-kil-ller
hello, yes I would like to get prices on a killing of a thieving squirrel
Yes, I can pay in cheeseburgers and beer. When is your next opening? OK, I will just take a little nap until your operator arrives ...
I IS SO PROUD! Congratulations, Pud!
See, dreams do come true!!!!!!
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.. you... a small girl... with big dreams... and only 9.5 pounds.. deaded a groundhoggggggggggg????? WOWWWWW i ams the very the impressed. Will you be my gurfriend... (Remington.. you are seeing nothing here)..
woofs n licks,
A very amazed Dommmyyyy
btw... did your momma fainteds?? or didya have to brush all your toofies after them KILL or before them KILL??? or or didya have to shower...or hose down.. after your momma found out you deaded a groundhoggy?
still impressed and amazed,
Dommyyyyy
Puddles,
You have made me so proud of you! Maybe you can give me a few lessons, I have been after a few things that hang around in my yard but I am not even close to getting them.
Yo
urs,
Max
OMD, Puddles, I am so very very impressed with you! I've chased a lot of chipmunks and squirrels and bunnies, but I've never caught one! You're just so amazing.
Ground Hog kabos!!!! Dooooooling Dooooling. I have just the perfect sticks, I'll make sure I bring them to the pawrty. I am not sure why anyone would be so surprised at you fierce hunting abilities. I mean look at you Puddles: you are gorgeous, clever, fit, wise, helpful, protective, funny, patient, and above all oh so humble. You ARE the perfect package of K9ness. I would actually hire you to get rid of a couple of raccoon and just a few skunks that seem to think you yard is their playground. I am so proud that I can say, "Puddles? Oh yes I know her. In fact she is a friend of mine."
Blessings,
Goose
We're up for ground hog kabobs! And we are TOTALLY impressed with your hunting skills. Of course, you are built for hunting, while we are built for lounging... But still, Very Nice Work, Miss Puddles. Maybe you could help us with our mouse problem... ;-)
*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus
OMD OMD! You go girl, well done! Now, I've got this goat thing that needs to be...removed. How do you feel about goats?
Nola
OMD! Puddles, that's pretty impressive! Up here, we stick to hunting birds, mice and squirrels.
Okay... We're back... we was just at the pet store and saw a stuffie just like that! How can we be SURE that there thingie you say you killed was actually alive?
Sam and Pippen
Eish Puddles...
You are one mighty killer-pooch.
Lotsalicks
TOBY IN SOUTH AFRICA
Holy smokes Puddles!!! We are very impressed!!!!!
OMG Puddles, good job. I didn't know we had Groundhogs around here. We have never seen one. But you are a mighty hunter. Way to go. We might have to be calling you but us kitties take care of all the introoders around here unless they are too big for us. Have a great week end.
Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Sorry, that was Mum, the vegetarian pacifist who thinks all little creatures are so cute.
We however, support you completely, although we never had you pegged for an assassin, hmmmm.
Good job - now where the hell did we put those tranquilizers, it's okay Mum, get up, your heart is FINE, he he.
Dip Bridge and Elliot x
Miss Puddles, I take my proverbial hat off to you, I mean, I thought the Bordoggy was the best hunter in town, but I suspect that is only too true, ...that I "think I am" - I have not actually ever caught anything, ever, but I keeps on a trying so I do, and takes off my proverbial hat off to you to - love Barnie x
OMD, Puddles - we are in total awe of the amazing Miss Puddles. You did super duper. And your list of conquests is spectacular. Our only suggestion is to always step away from the skunkeroos!!!
Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning
Wow, what a list. I bet nothin is safe in your part of the block. Did you wanna come and meet Allred? I mean, if you can handle all them other critters, Allred should be a piece of Ha ha Cake.
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! (breath) SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! OMD! OMD! OMD! I just can't even hardly type cuz I'm SO super proud of you and your huntin' skills. Wow! My dad kills deer and elk and stuff but he has to use a GUN! You just used your teeths and your super doxie cunning to kill that guy dead.
I can't wait to have some of those groundhogkabobs. Do you think groundhog tastes like chicken?
Super Proud Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie
PeeS. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
BBQ time! I'll bring the potato salad!
Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar
Oh my dog Puddles!!! Dem groundhogs better watch out now with you around, are you sure your not part lion?!
...Sampson killed a spider once, well he nudged it with his face until it was smushed into the capret, that counts right!?
Slobbers
Well!! I hope you found a good place for it to live now!
Wait! What?
Oh, I hope you found a good place for it not to live now! :)
I've heard of James Bond "License to Kill" but not the Puddles License to Kill is it coming out on DVD or on internut only!
Sweet William The Scot
OMD!!! Holy Cow!! Wowee!!! We are jealous!
~Milly and Shelby
Oh my gosh Puddles!
your something else!
love
tweedles
Puddles!
That sure was a huge groundhog!
Good job!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza
The legend of the Honey Badger and the Wiener Dog. http://youtu.be/Cp2wRLDDQVo
I am blown away. This is awe-inspiring. Now, because of this post, Casper isn't speaking to me because it has reminded him of a little incident that happened right after we adopted him. I let him outside and like a flash, he had snatched up a groundhog and was giving it the death shake. I started screaming, which caused him to release it and it ran away. I hoped that he had forgotten about it, but your post brought it all back.
Oh my gosh Puddles!! You are my hero!! Gezzz,, I have only killed 2 mice. You are the hunter!!WTG girl!!
wags
Jazzi
Puddles, you left my mom speechless, she can barely write cause she lost all words somewhere in the universe. And her jaw dropped to her knees.
Where's the dictionary....
You are a mighty hunter considering your size!
Puddles, my sweet pal, you are the most pawesomest and wonderfulest of all my pals(please don't ever get mad at me). I would bow at your feet and do anything you asked(seriously I don't ever want to make you mad, not even a tiny bit). Can I send you anything, bake for you, scratch your back, clean your toys??? I always want to be on your good side forever and ever.
Your loving and loyal pal Sasha
p.s. I don't think you know my address but if you do...umm...we moved.
p.s.s. Mommy says that we found a huge spider in the sink and how are you with spiders?
Puddles, you are so much more doxier than me (Donut). I have not deaded nothing but my backside sitting around on it. My terrier brother has brought Mom a bunch of mice and moles - but sister cat was the killer.
Ps Puddles - did you know moms can just open a bag and feed you stuff that needs no killin? Look into that.
Puddles....
Thank-you for commenting on my blog!! I truly appreciated it!! ;)
Wow.... So you are a hunter!! Now that's impressive!! ;op
Love, Raelyn.... And Rose, my BEAUTIFULLY UNIQUE "Mystery Dog"!!
Awesome work, Puddles! We'll be by for a groundhogkabob! yummmmmmmm
Love ya lots,
Mitch and Molly, who is still too young for such a delicacy.
Oh, you are a great hunter!!!
I have an animal like that in my garden, but i don't have the courage to kill him :)
Have a nice weekend, dear friends.
Woof, woof,
Chicco
In the right corner Puddles AKA Jaws of Death and in the left corner Gary Grounhog AKA Dead Meat. "I have to think Puddles will win this one, she is so quick and deliberate, she never misses and has never lost a fight yet." Ok the ref is giving them the rules and they begin circling each other, first right,then left and...Oh...ouch...yowza...squeeeeeeeeeeee...squish...that poor Gary never had a chance. The winner and still mini weight champion Puddles the Pouncer. It is a good thing she didn't use these tactics in the battle with her Mom, sheeeesh that would have been ugly. Well Puddles is celebrating as usual with a beer and do I smell a grill going? Puddles does not waste any time, dinner anyone??
Signing out Sasha
Can we place our rder now? We'll take 2 each, rare please.
OMD PUDDLES!! We are proud of you.
Naybe the next Blogville event should be you leading us all a great critter hunt!!
Mommy said we could ask you to kill some of our mices.
We kneel to you power.
Sniff ya later........Weenie
Congrats! That is one big monster! We have a lot of ground rats but I have never seen any of them. Maybe YOU can catch them since I'm a failed hunter hehe.
Holy Moly, Puddles. Did you grill him? I am speechless... You are a huntress, that's for sure.
Geez, Puddles...I go out of town for like a week and come back to see you hit the JACKPOT!!! Riley says WOOHOO! You go!
She's gotten 3 birds, 1 mouse, and 1 bunny so far, so you're definitely beating her. She tried to take out a Beagle one day at obedience school...does that count for anything or is she just BAD??? ;)
Good for your Mum for taking pictures of that dead nastiness!
Elyse and Riley
Howdy Miss Puddles, wowza we are only learning about all your deadening skills. We have a hint for you. Our angel brother Oscar killed a rat once so my little sissy gave him marshmallows so he wouldn't have rat breath hehe. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory
Hey Puddles,
We was so happy for you and you deserve the tropy Frankir has givrn you BUT Mommy is so ashamed of us. We might have killed 2 kittens yesterday. How do you post about somehing like that...sniffle, sniffle.
Very ashamed....Mona & Weenie
iz fink dat i iz ridikyoolusly impressive butt a litterl bit dishgusterin too, butt aslong as yoo dident gett in too mutch owf a mess I will say dat itt iz more impressive than dishgusterin! heehee! weell donne puddles, love pdorg xox
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