Thursday, August 9, 2012

An Idiot Mum Post on Thursday

I know, I know, I nevers post on Thursday but dis was just 
to good to wait for.
Get comfy.

There is nuttin' I enjoy more in life...udder than huntin...than to make fun
of da kerazy Lady when her does sumptin' STOOPID.
Well furiends does I has a doozy of a stoopid story furs ya'll today.
Her stoopidity is just priceless and totally makes fur good blog material.

(I don't has a lot of piktures so I drew some to make do)

See, it all started when her saw Brudder Albert outside barkin' and lungin'.
Well, mum knew Albert was afters sumptin...duh...genius I tells ya.
So her goes outside to see what was goin' on and of course I was right behind
hers cuz I is nosey. 
Well low and behold it was a turtle...STUCK in da fence.
Not a bright turtle cuz he tried to go through da hole in da fence and his shell gotted stuck.

Well we was all carryin' on and barkin' and a snappin' and lunging at da turtle and mum said
we was actin' like a bunch of idiots. 
Okay we was, what can I say? 
But it was a turtle and I had nevers seen one.
So mum tried to push da turtle back through and it wouldn't budge...
so then hers had to kick it through...don't worry, it not get hurt.

Yes, it has birdie poop on it's shell.
So there it was on da udder side of da fence but we could still sees it and it drove us kerazy.
Okay, so mum picks me up to take me in da house since I be da littlest.
and I was kickin' and screamin'! 
Like dis...

Is ya'll still followin' me?

While I was rudely put in da house, Albert was outside diggin' tryin' to get to da turtle.
Well, him was all caked in mud.
 I thought he looked good but mum didn;t.
So hers picked him up...
...brung him in da house...
and threw him in da bafftub...
And then went to get a cup to rinse him off....cuz he has nevers jumped out of da bafftub...
her comes back to dis...
...and dis...
...and dis...
 ...and then her plops him back in da tub.
 ...and then her plops him back in da tub.
He was trying to go back outside to get to da turtle.
So then mum gets him all washed up and her and da girl takes off to da "Good but Weird Neighbors"...dats da yard da turtle is in and mum wanted to move da turtle so we wouldn't
be goin all kerazy cracker dog.

So mum tells da Good Neighbor Man her is gonna go move da turtle...he says okay.
So mum and My Girl go trapsin' through their yard which is incredibly grown overs withs trees and bushes and old spare parts to junk.
While they is walking through da tropical Forrest mum gets mutilated by skeeters...hehehehe.
Ahem, okays...da turtle is GONE!

So then mum tells da girl she ain't walkin' back through their yard and they will just has to jump da fence.
Mum jumps da fence...
Look REEEEEEAL good at my drawin' ...hehehehe

Her gotted her foot da turtle...but hers not fall.

So mum and da girl gets over da fence in one piece and then My Girl turns to mum and says....
"Why didn't we use the gate?"

Again, da drawin...
 They jumped overs da fence and there was a gate 5 feet away....all they had to do was open it and walk through...duh.
Bwhahahahahahahahaha...OMD, I love it much to talk bouts.

Okays, thank you furs letting me tells ya'll dis incredibly long story.



Rubie and Poots (her Mum) said...

That was a priceless story Puddles..... peeps can be dumb dumb sometimes...... glad your mom is givin' us such great material..... BOL!

Tail Wuggles, Rubie xxx

houndstooth said...

Bwaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha! I don't know if I can type something funny because I'm laughing too hard! Hee hee hee! No wonder you never lack for things to write about!


georgia little pea said...

DUH mama. DUH. Your girl is a smartie though (thank goodness). Don't you just wonder where the turtle went? I LOVE your drawings! More drawings please! x

georgia little pea said...

Oh, and maybe Albert can have more stories in your blog, Pudds. I see POTENTIAL.

Gloria Hood said...

Oh no! I gotta quick run outside or I will have to pee on the floors! BOL! Your Mom sure is Krazy!
Lovies, Miss Mindy

What Remains Now said...

You were right...that was way too good to wait.

Madi and Mom said...




Molly The Wally said...

Puddles you are just priceless. We are crying with laughter. Have a good day.
Best wishes Molly

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

BaaaaaWaaaaah this is one of the VERY MUCH FUNNIEST Peep Story I have EVER heard. I laffed and laffed and laffed.
It would make a WONDERFUL BLOCK BUSTER MOVIE.. FULL of suspense
Just the right amount of HIGHS and LOWS.
Low... It was stuck in the Fence
High.. You got to join in the FUN
Low... The turtle had bird poop
Low.. YOU got shoved in the house
High.. Your mom went OVER the Fence
Low... ALBERT digging
High.. Albert put into the high TUB
Low.. HE escaped
High Albert splattered Mud WAY UP THERE
YEP... Just the right mixture.
Sorry that you didn't get to Deaded that turtle though. You can make SUPER SOUP outta them.

georgia little pea said...

Of course I know. Her name is Whitney, she's the other co-producer and her picture's on your sidebar. HAH! I'm not short-sighted like someone we won't mention ;)

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! What a great day of laughter for you. Love your drawings - you are a very talented dog!

Bassetmomma said...

OMG! Puddles, that just made my morning!! I love these posts about your Momma 'cause they make me look really smart! :)

Remington said...

That is SO funny! Great drawings....however, I would have LOVED to see the pictures!

Declan said...

Oh you gotta love 'em huh? It's a good job them hoomans have got us to look after them, really it is.... How much did ya pay the turtle?!!

Finn said...

Oh wow - what a great story!! I love how the gate is right there :)

Raelyn said...

What a day you experienced!! Albert has never jumped out of the bathtub, but he did. Well. There is always a first time for something!! Dogs can be so unpredictable!! ;)
I love your drawings!! They are cute!! ;op
Love, Raelyn.... And Rose, my BEAUTIFULLY UNIQUE "Mystery Dog"!!

Uji, Izzy + Ziggy said...

Oh my paws dats sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funnisome

Da K Krew
xxxx xxxx

Casey said...

BOL! Silly humans. I can't believe she wouldn't let you get to the turtle. Turtle soup is a delicacy!

By the way, happy Dachshund Day! I heard it was this morning on Facebook, and I knew there were some furiends I had to wish a good day. :)

Sam and Pippen said...

Are you SURE you don't want to be our magician's assistant? It would be easy to make you disappear!

Sam and Pippen

PeeS. Tell your mom that our gramma was silly like your mom is and our mom has turned out normal... for the most part anyway!

Shawn said...

Oh my dogness, Mom has waters running down her face she is laffing soooo hard!!
BOL,loved you artwoorks..BRILLIANT!!

your furiend,

GOOSE said...

OK OK this was just to... oh I gets peed my self. I'll be back

GOOSE said...

I'm back. I should know to go outside first before I read your stuff. Lesson learned. The way I firgure it is if you would have been allowed to go along then there would have been no fence climbing. I know how you and your Bruddr feel. I too recently have discovered turtles. They may be slow, and not to bright but they are crafty, I just know it.

The Teacher's Pets said...

I don't know which was better, the narration, the drawings, the pictures, or the joke at the end so I will just pick 'em all! I could just picture the whole thing while reading this! Too funny! Why your mom and couldn't use the gate I'll never know! Maybe b/c they were all excited and couldn't think straight all b/c of the turtle?

Peggy Frezon said...

hahahah oh dear, that is a good story! Us moms have so much in our brain, Puddles, that we just can't think that clearly all the time. That's what I'm going with. I wonder if the turtle will come back to visit tomorrow?? Or it may take a few days, depending on how far away he has to walk from.

Lovable Lily said...

That was the funniest story we've heard in a long time!

Hopping over a fence... Just what was the Kerazy Lady thinking? Oh yeah, she wasn't thinking was she!

Thank goodness you got da girl in your life bcuz she's got the smarts upstairs!

Albert really did a number on the bathtub! Did anyone check the drain to see if Albert brought mr. turtle into the house?

Lily Belle & Muffin

Marg said...

That is hysterical. Our Mom would have done the same thing except that she couldn't have jumped the fence. That was one terrific story and hopefully the nice turtle has found a nice place to be.

Sam said...

Hi Puddles, ha, ha, ha - wow that was funny. Thank goodness that your mom has you and Albert to "coach" them through life. We liked what Albert did in the bathroom. Silly peeps are always making things more complicated than they need to be. We're kind of wary about our peeps too.

Amber DaWeenie said...

Ok' me is gonna need a baf too. Da Momma done spitted all hers coffee on me cause her was laughin so hard!

Team Beaglebratz said...

Oh Miss Puddles – we due b-leeve your kerazy mom and our mom MUST b related, may-b sumthin’like long lost cuzinz twice removed ... or sumthin'like that. Or may-b they wuz dropped on their headz when they wuz kidz or may-b even both. Not that our mom haz dun the gate thing – yet cuz she haz not had the “opportunitee” butt since she keepz the gatez locked she wood probably hafta go around tue the front door – she’z a shorty.

By the way, u haz got sum real artistic talent there - u shood show us more of it.
Shiloh'n Shasta

Maggie Mae and Max said...


Ooh my your poor sweet momma had a ruff day didn't her? Our mom thanks you fur da belly laugh, her really needed it today.

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae and Your Max

Shelle Pennington said...


Our mom has gone to change into new panties.

Shelle, Milo, Dixie and Newby,

Nola said...

OMD. I thought my mom was stooopid but OMD yours takes the cake!!!

Brian said...

I sure am glad you didn't wait to ahare that Puddles! We enjoyed the laugh today!

Marg said...

Please do give Molly the link to our blog and then maybe we can trade emails. Thanks Puddles.

Reuben said...

Hehehe peoples is rediculous. They should leave all turtle management to us dogs, we is experts!


Ann Oon said...

Oh my myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy... your momma is keraaaaazy... LOL!... how did she jump over the fence... you should be taking pics from the house Puds...

btw... where did the turtle go? It might be coming back again tmrw perhaps? Then she might need to jump overs the fence again...

Ann Oon said...

did your momma have to go on all 4s and scrub all the mess that Albert left in the loo? hehhehehehe.. smart Albert.. you should ask him to have more action in life.. this is the wayyyyyyyyyyyyy.. than to be boring good blobs. Live the life Albert!

A MilShelb Mom said...

BOL!!!! OMD!!!! Too funny! Mom says she loved how your girl said that AFTER they climbed the fence.
~Milly and Shelby

Mango said...

First of all, the drawings are amazing. In fact, I cannot tell which of the photos you drew and which are real live photos. So there.

I am not happy that the crazy lady kicked that poor little turtle. No wonder he was gone. Most likely hoofed it out of there at top turtle speed.

I am very impressed by how limber and athletic the crazy lady is. My momma's leggies do not bend that way under any circumstances.


3 doxies said...

Sorry Mango, I should has chosen a better word than kick...hers had to push da turtle out with her foot cuz he was lodged in theres real good and wouldn't budge any udder way. Mum had to get him out quick so we didn't get him furst.


Jan's Funny Farm said...

Wait, we have to stop laughing to type properly.

**deep breath** hehehe

** another deep breath**

Okay, Puddles, we have a question for you. Is your mom related to our Jan?

Two French Bulldogs said...

OMD! That Albert. The drawings tell the real story
Benny & Lily

Repositório said...

Sorry but I´m laughing so much!!!!

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

HEY ALBERT... YOU are an ARTIST... Look at that FACE you "IMPRINTED" on the Baff Matt. WAY TO GO BUDDY.

Anonymous said...

Well, if that turtle hadn't already left, I bet he woulda just keeled over from laughing at your mom so hard! BOL! But, wait! Maybe your mom wasn't being stoopid. MAYBE she was just practicing for the next Olympics. I'm pretty sure there's a fence jumping event, right? Yep...I bet that's what it was!

And I am VERY Much Impressed with Albert's mud-art. I never woulda guessed he had it in him.

Wiggles & WAgs,

Dip-Dip and the Bridge said...

What is your Mum's IQ again?
We are pretty sure it is higher than ours though, hehe.
And a LOT higher than our Dads, the turtles is probably higher than his.
We are the cleverest ones in the house - isn't that sad... and scary!
Great story, we lurved it!
Dip Bridge and Elliot x

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Oh Puddles, and then you wonder why the Mom didn't get you a birthday present???? C'mon, you have to think of something good and smart that she does so she will reward you.

Thunder says if you need help with turtles he is the guy to call.

Mom keeps shaking her head saying something about no good deed.

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Tucker said...

BOL - this is fabulous!

that must be a really slow turtle if it had bird poops on it. It would be funnier if your momma had gotten bird poops on her too!


woof- Tucker

Ruby said...

Oh, Puddles, your Moms is tooooo funny! My Ma knows too well what it's like when us Pups gets our minds on gettin' somethin' just outta our reach....cracker dawg central!! I think Albert out-smarted your Moms on this one ~ jumpin' out of the tub all muddy! Wows, what a mess your Moms had to clean up! Kudos on that one!
May I say that you are a true Art-eest Puddles. You might have missed your callin'! If you ever decide to give up being a Super Model....



JackDaddy said...

I think you should make this into a movie!

Or at least an animated cartoon!

Anonymous said...

Puddles... I'm surprised that no one has inquired about your mom and girl having green faces. I, for one, am very concerned. Do you live near a nuclear power plant? Or a company that pollutes your water with chemicals? A toxic dump perhaps??

Funny stuff:)

Mitch and Molly said...

OMG, you totally crack us up, Puddles! You tell the BEST stories!

Love ya lots,
Mitch and Molly

scotsmad said...

Definitely Thursday-worthy. Or any other day. We're still laughin'. We don't know if we like Albert's tub escape (and mess) or the gate story best!!!!

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Love the drawings!

Bobbi said...

OH MY GOSH! I THINK I MIGHT BE RELATED TO THE KARAZY LADY!!! LOL! This is great blog material, for sure! I LOVE the pictures!! I've been bloggy - breaking... but I couldn't help it, when I saw your title I had to come over and see what this was all about. I swear Puddles, you must never be out of my life. Ever!!!

Cole said...

Hahaha! Great story! I do have to ask...where was Whitney during all this? Napping? Being your designated secretary so she could help with this post?!

The Websters said...

What is wrong with humans??? Why do you think they aren't so good at thinking? I mean, THE GATE WAS RIGHT THERE????

Anyway, I'm glad your mom didn't rip her pants on the fence b/c I've heard that happens sometimes to humans who try to jump fences.


Murray's Mouth said...

HILARIOUS! Glad your mom is okay though!

Wyatt said...

Ha ha ha...who knew turtles could be soooo much fun!

Wyatt and Stanzie

chicamom85 said...

Puddles, you are so lucky. Your Mommy gives you the best material. I tinkled myself and Mommy is wiping tears from your drawings. Is your Mommy gonna go on tour with those red neck comedy guys?? I bet she would be really funny and you could even be in the show. She is a hoot, Puddleduddledoo! Albert probably wanted to dead it cauz he is so jellies that you have deaded so many things and he hasn't.

Loveys Sasha

p.s. Mommy made more pizza, she had to use mice guts this time, we ran out of possum, but its still really good. Stop by.

Jazzi said...

Oh PUddles, that was soooo funny!! Me and Mom both cracked up!! We could imagine them jumping the fence and then seeing the gate. BOL You have quite the fam there!! The drawings were great and really helped to tell the story. ALbert was funny too and I am sure your mom enjoyed cleaning up the floors and stuff. Guess the turtle knew to high tail it outta there!!


Anonymous said...

BOL! OMD! Hardy Har Har Har! Too much. Can't stop laughin to say anymore. BOL!

Ro ho ha ho ha oo.

Mr. Pip said...

Bawhahahahaha ...bahahahahahaaaa! OMD, my belly hurts from laughing ...bawhahahahahahaaaahhaa. The gate was right there ...bawahahahahaa

OK, I will be back later. Need to go have a drink of "water" to calm down.

Your pal, Pip

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

First, your pictures are exquisite! Very instructive, informative, and very thorough! We are also impressed with Albert's floor art - nice work, Mr. Blob! BTW, have you checked to see if someone maybe gave da crazy lady a lobotomy when no one was looking? Just curious! Heehee!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Anonymous said...

That was a long, but good story! We can always count on the Kerazy Lady for a good laugh! Bwahaha--Albert jumping out of the tub! Priceless.

Have a great weekend!!

Elyse and Riley

♥ Sallie said...

I think you could sell those drawings for lots of money!


BordoggyTerrier said...

Hi Puddles - we have been away on 'holiday' (well, camping, sonme may use other words to describe my ordeal...sorry, 'holiday) !! - Anyhow, I would never have gone if I'd have known you would have been left there to fend for yourself through the whole TutleGate Saga there! Mind, even though Kerazy Lady did not catch it, think she proved to be a better hunter than even I - if that is at all pawssible! Be taking great care - love Barnie x

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Puddles, you need to get a book deal. Mid-6 figures, easy.

So did your mom have fun cleaning the Albert bathroom after her fence climbing escapade? Bet Miss Whitney Goodie Two Shoes behaved like a perfect angel.

Jed & Abby

Shawnee the Shepherd said...

Puddles - I is sooo late getting here coz mom hogged my pooter all week but I is so glad I made it so I could see the goings on at your house, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I is RORFLMTO. I betcha that turtle seened your mom hacking her way through the jungle while smashing at skeeters and RAN fur hims life, BOL! Your artistic renditionings is priceless, BOL, BOL.

KB said...

Oh Puddles. You are too hysterical. The gate... the gate... At least the girl has some brains! She must take after you instead of the kerazy lady.

Kaunis Nelli said...

Oh my gosh - you are an artist!. I can totally imagine what has happened.

Smile With Your Tail said...

Bwhahaha, this made our DAY. We especially love the very artistic diagrams to help us!


Dante, Daisy Boo and Sampson