Friday, October 15, 2010

Damage Control by Albert

Greetings friends.
It is me, Albert.
(Please forgive me for not posting much as my sister has taken over the blog duties henceforth, I am a little rusty here).

I thought I would do a little post of my own today while
my sister Puddles is over at Frankie's place. She thought she was going to "eat a kit".
Poor thing thought it was tacos and Hamburger Helper.
 She is going to be disappointed when she realizes it was "etiquette" instead.
It is going to be interesting over there....my sister giving out etiquette tips is laughable.
A meeting of the minds I am doubting

Anyway, I usually only blog when I have to do damage control. And today, that is why I am here.
 Puddles recently posted about a damaged window sill and put the blame on me.
Well, to be honest, it was true...I did it.
I was merely protecting my domain from intruders.
I can't help the fact the window sill was in the way.
But, that is not why I am here.
I am here to inform you all that while it is true, I don't get in trouble...
because I don't do anything to get in trouble
neither does SHE, despite all she does.
Let me present to you photos of an act that would clearly get any dog in trouble.

What Up?

You would think a dog on the table would warrant a grounding.
It didn't.
All mother said was, "Oh now Puddles dear, get down from the table."
...never once raising her voice.
(mother isn't too good at training anything...not even the child)


ZZZZZ...snore...ZZZZZ...whistle...whistle...ZZZZZ...snore!!!!!!!!!

See???!!!!!
The puppy gets by with everything when she shouldn't.
Unfortunately, my mother is to blame for all this.

I should have taken over raising the girl and Puddles a long time ago.
If I had none of these shenanigans would be going on.
Puddles would have been a more productive citizen in blogville...
she wouldn't be running over squirrels although it sounds most fun
she wouldn't be leaving questionable comments on blogs...
she wouldn't be stealing laundry baskets and delivering contraband to friends...
nor would she be a drunk eating Cheeto's all day...
well, she would be more like me...sophisticated and refined.
Never mind, there was no hope for her to begin with.

Thank you for your time today.
I just wanted you all to know the truth around here...
No one gets in trouble around here even when SOMEONE should.
And, I will NEVER admit to how much fun Puddles can be.

By the way...this is the photo that was selected by you all for Twinkie's contest.


My apologies for this being long.
Until next time....

Sincerely,
Albert

48 comments:

Mango said...

Albert! Good to know that some doggies at your estate still have all their marbles. That Puddles is one short of a six pack.

Slobbers,
Mango

♥MONA + MOMMY TOO♥ said...

Great to hear from you Albert. We loves the Puddles but like to hear from you and Whitney sometimes.

Somebodty has to be the voice of reason at your house and you are it.

{{{huggies}}}...Mona

Mr. Pip said...

Hey Albert, nice to see you!

Now, I am a big fan of Puddles (kind of reliving my youth through her), BUT sleeping on the table is too much. Not even I get away with such a thing (mainly because I can't reach the table and am terribly afraid of heights).

Your pal, Pip

P.S.: Sorry about crashing into your window the other night. I didn't have my glasses on and that laundry basket is difficult to park.

Lola said...

Oh, Albert, it's so good to hear from you. I think Puddles is a breath of fresh air. Beer scented air, but still. She's almost pawfect, except I wish she'd let you blog more. I always enjoy reading your point of view, too.

lotsa licks, Lola

Pee S - My humans are not great at training either. Lucky for them I'm like you. Slightly different story with Franklin, though.

Hound Girl said...

Oh Albert ya know we all have to have those crazies out there in life - blogland is no diffrent. We are always going to have those dogs from the other side of the tracks... you know what im tlaking about!

But we love, err I mean Fred loves Miss Puddles alot. Its kinda like how a pimp loves his ho.

hang in there Albert - just text Haylie if you need to chat - she feels your pain.

Gloria said...

Very good post Albert!!! You should sneak in here more often! hehe

Frankie Furter said...

Albert buddy you are truly a calm port in that stormy sea that you call home. I have no idea how you keep yourself so far removed from ... You Know Who.
Her actions and antics are... both disturbing and delightful. You must wake up every morning wondering... OMD OMD.. what will SHE get into today???
It is good that you are TRYING to get HER to live a life that reflects the Values that you obviously share with Whitney.
You have a tough row to hoe, my furend. hehehe

All The Dogs said...

Oh, Albert.....My HEE-ROW and HeartBeat....Hmmmmmmmmmm {sigh}. So cool and so-phist-ica-ted. (And no beer breath either-he he he) My handsome prince.... Ok--back on da track now...I wonder what da Puddles will have to say bout da "eat-a-kit" session. Tacos and Burger Helper are good.

Your Friend....
Amber

Remington said...

Hi Albert! You and I are about alike. We are sensible, protective and caring. But aren't doggies like Miss Puddles fun to watch? She is a HOOT! Stay real, my friend....guys like us are hard to find!

Leonardo said...

Morning Albert,
I have to say that in our house, Grady is definitely much more like you and Whitney, while I'm a bit more "adventuresome.

I've been working up a sweat to help him break his "good dog" image, and as we write he's actually eating a piece of toilet paper!!!! What a breakthrough.

We like hearing from you, and thanks for letting us know that you and Whitney are there to keep Peace in the household.

Have a great day and check Ms. P. for taco & hamburger helper breath when she gets home. I'm sure she'll find some way to make the day work out to her advantage.

Leonardo.
PS Looks like Ms. Amber is smooshie about you. Way to Go!

Sammy and Andy said...

Hi, Handsome Albert....it was really good to hear from you today. Now we have everything in perspective!!!!! Puddles is a mess, but that is part of her charm, huh?????

Our brother bean just lost two of his long-haired doxies to cancer this past month, so we are really sad....one of them was also named Puddles.

Love to all of you.

Minna Krebs said...

Albert, we just LOVES to see you round here! You are sooo handsome and distinquished!!

Butt, please clarify...does everybuddy hang out on da table at your house!?! (I seem to remembers fotos of sofas and stuff...)

Heeheehee...
MinnaK

mayziegal said...

Hi Albert! I sure did luv hearing from you today. I like the way you talk. It reminds me of Brudder Ranger.

Um, so let me get this straight. You all gets to sit ON the table? Like, ON it? I don't know what to think about this cuz mom is always telling me that only kittehs get to sit on the table and that table-sitting is not for brindle doggies such as myself. I think perhaps mom has been misinformed about this. I can't WAIT to show her your postie!

Um, that WAS the point to this, right?

Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie

Minna Krebs said...

Maybe it another southern thing....BOL!

Da sofas are on da front porch with da beer
So you use da tables for da sitting on in da house with da DIET Dr Peppers
And you use da laundry baskets to drive around.

Heeheee!!
123 Puddles Street is a very interesting place to live!!

MinnaK

Maggie Mae said...

Albert,

Where has you been? I always enjoy hearing from you. My mom would never lets me on da tables....can I come stay wif you? :)

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

Brian said...

Nice to see you Albert, ya done good!

JackDaddy said...

LOL If we let puppies on the table, we would never get to eat!!

Piappies World said...

Hello Albert!

Good to hear from you today. Definitely it was the window sill's fault.

Great to know that Puddles have you there to depend on.


Love,
Piappies Fudgie, Princess, Frappie, Mocha, Sugar, Wai-Pai & Wai-Max

Oskar said...

Albert, you seem like a long-suffering-in-silence kind of guy.

Sometimes all you can do is bury your head and take a nap!

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Team Beaglebratz said...

Hi Albert - we du love your ????? sister, but it iz so refreshin'tu come here an'listen to the voice of reezon an'knowleedge sumtimez. We no u try hard with your sis butt sumtimez, it just mite b a lost cauze. Good tu c u Albert.
Shiloh'n Shasta

Madi and Mom said...

Holy Hot Dogs Albert we had no idea you #1. knew that many words or #2. could talk that long....(pun intended)!!!

Most cats are solitary and mind their own bees wax; however,I, Madi the Diva, just want you to know I will be telling MS. Puddles Duddles Rainwater that you have been talking trash about her today!! And even worse you have been critizing the hand that feeds you!! Mr you are in big trouble!!
Madi

ABBY said...

Albert
Sometimes a guy has it get it all off his chest...just be kareful when Puddles finds out that yoo let da cat outta da bag...and me being a cat dat says a lott!

purrin
xoxoxo
Abby

Bruschi said...

Hi Albert! So glad you had a free minute to blog!
I can't believe Puddles is allowed to sleep on a table!!!! BOL!
She really runs the show at your house now doesn't she!

houndstooth said...

Albert, first, just let me bark that it is always so pleasant when you get a chance at the keyboard. I enjoy your writing immensely!

Second, everyone in the blogosphere knows about Puddles. However, you do have to admit that she's amusing, and I suspect, under that brassy red fur of hers and all that attitude, Puddles really does have a heart. I think she tries her best to amuse everyone and keep things lighthearted, which we all enjoy. Try to just roll with the punches. That, or mail yourself to my house in a box! We'd even let you have your own blog here!

Bunny

Scout 'n Freyja said...

Albert, you earn an A plus plus for your damage control post! More! More!

George the Lad said...

Hey Albert, great to hear from you, its good to hear the other side of these storys, I must say I do take most of what she says with a pinch of salt. But you can't help but like her, warts and all lol!!
See Yea George xxx
PS let hope its not to long before to post again!

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Do woo evFUR feel like woo are akhtually Lindsay Lohan's broFUR?

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo: Nice choice - I obviously know my bum pikhs!

Tucker said...

Puddles gets on the table? What does she thinks she is a CAt?

woof - Tucker

PeeS. Don't tell her I said that.

Junior and Orion said...

No need to apologize Albert...we don't hear from you often so you have to take advantage of the time you do get!

Well, sounds like chaos at your home...what with the Mom not training anyone. Maybe you should step in before all chaos reigns furever......

Those Elgin Pugs said...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

sorry...yous lost 'da Josie at henceforth...
BA HA HA HA HA!!!

butt yous gurl is ADORABLE!!
loves,
'da Josie

pee-s

Howdy!!
Heard lolts and lolts about your sisteers... haheehaheehahee...
loveme
TriXie

Cheryl, Indiana, Shingo and Molly said...

You must get tired trying to control ALL of Puddles damage. She is quite the little fireball!

Woofs and Kisses!
The Fiesty Three

scotsmad said...

Yeah, we pretty much rule the roost here, too. But we are generally well-behaved. Bella tries to get on tables, but that's one thing she's not allowed to do. Caesar M would be appalled!

XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

Great hearing from you.....now what's Whitney up to?

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Hmmmm, looks like there are advantages to being a smaller pup - sitting on the table, sleeping on the table, seriously????? Maybe we need to move to your side of the country - do you think the Mom would let us snooze on the table too?

Albert, we see at least one good thing there, Puddles doesn't have a beer:)

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Corbin said...

Albert! Good to hear from you, dude. As long as tehre's some pictures of the perfect puddles, I'm happy with any post!
-Corbin

Tank said...

I really can't believe I'm going to say this (because I've decided that pugs are all nuts,) but I kind of agree with Josie. This was a snoozer. Albert, you seem like a nice enough dog, but a bit... dull. Please don't take that personally. I did enjoy the fact that you made sense. P seems to have a tenuous grip on reality at best and it's exhausting to wade through her drivel. That being said, I don't usually fall asleep while reading about her exploits. I think she's probably just sucked the life out of you dawg. My advice is to get out of that double wide once in awhile and make some new furiends. It'll do you good.

Barbara said...

Albert, it must be difficult being the designated driver in your house. Clearly your mom needs training as Puddles will NEVER be trained!

thedreadpiratejack said...

I be gettin away wiv a lot too as my Ma is a real softy, even if I pee on da carpet she still never getz cross when lots of people would. I still get worried if I hav an accident but Ma finks my last owners used to get cross wivs me so thats why I hide when I have made pee. Ma just comes and scoops me up and gives me big lovs tho I fink I am gettin it now tho which is good
Lovs
Richie
x x

Levi Mac said...

Hi Albert! Nice to hear from you. We loves da Puddles but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders.

Neeko said...

Mr. Albert! You are verrrrry Handsome :o)
I'm a guy so this was said by my Sis and I have to agree with her :o)

Your little Cutie Pie Puddles is the funniest Girl in bloggieville.
We are always laughing our tails off when she leaves her paw prints on here.
Sounds like you have a fine Mommy that puts up with a LOT...

Thanks for checking in and hope you do it more often.
I have to be honest with you, sometimes I have to Google the words that Puddles is posting ;o)

Please give your Girls my Love,

Neeko ♥♥♥ (the third heart is for the Girl sitting on the table with Puddles)

Lorenza said...

Hi, Albert!
I know you did it to protect your family from intruders!
Well... Those pictures of the two girls on the table are... are... not fair!
I wonder if someday my mom would let me do that!
Take care
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Anny said...

Albert Albert.. heyo heyo :) Its good to have u sneak in a post while Puds is away.. chasing squirrels perhaps?

damage is already uncontrollable *BOL* but life is short.. its good to have some form of fun :)

Zona said...

This post makes me jealous. I'm not allowed on the table.. I'm "too big." Pfftt... I'm hoping on the train to your place, Albert!

Wags,
Zona

Sarge said...

Hey Albert!
Living with Puddles is no doubt very challenging. Love the pix of you by the way. Standing on the table will get me in trouble every time. Alas, I must confess that our woodwork shows the signs of my many scratches. Like you, I am just protecting my territory, but I have left many marks for the invaders to remember me by. Puddles is hugely entertaining, but I bet you get lots and lots of headaches.
Grr and a Sympathetic Woof,
Sarge

Mack said...

Albert,
Sounds like you are the responsible one at your house - like me!!

Keisha said...

What cute photos! :) I am glad to see you here. :)

road-dog-tales said...

Albert - It's always nice to hear a bit from a reasonable, sane guy like yourself. Someone over there has got to be! Hope you're taking your vitamins if you're planning to keep Puddles out of trouble:)

The Road Dogs

PeeS - Please tell Puddles that she did a most fantasical job with Frankie answering all the bloggy questions. Big help indeed! Look forward to more!

Alien said...

Ah, Albert. Who could ever scold Puddles? Look at her adorable face, and bottom.

Doxie Rod said...

nice to meet you, albert! sometimes we are all a little bad, but it is never our fault! i believe you :) at least you have photo proof of puddles!