Monday, April 30, 2012

All because of my Brudder

Greetings dear fans and readers.
Ya'll knows my Brudder Albert right?
You knows Mr. Perfect, Mr. No Can Do No Wrong, mum's "soul mate", Blob #1
Yea him.

 He on da couch.

 Heres him is again.

(I knows he is patrolin da street but according to da kerazy lady it's nuttin, but hers has no idea da importance of bein' safe and dats what we do)

Aaaaaand again.

Wells him gots us alls in trubles cuz him jumped off da side of da couch arm...
...what an idiot. not a good idea.
So does ya'll knows what happened because he did dat?????

Mum moved da couch away froms da window!
Nows da couch is against da wall.

And I was all likes "NOOOOOOOO MUM!"
I thinks I added a few more exclamations though.
And then hers was all like..."it is my job to keep you all safe so the couch has to be moved and you know Albert has a sensitive back."

It was just blah blah blah and blah to me.

Maybe her should learns to control her Albert betters.
Ooooh me, did I just say dat out loud?

Nows I has to do dis...
 ...stand of my tippie paws!

I reckon it'll gets my calves in shape.
I don't thinks I really has calves so it will be pointless.

Puddles...withs calves of steel...and buns.

57 comments:

~Shelle said...

I understand Mum wanting to protect Brudder Albert's back, but that is just awful not allowing you to do your dachshund duty of patrolling the streets.

I think you need to go to Blogville Circuit Court with this one. Cause she is taking away your civil rights!!

Know a good dachshund lawyer?

Milo and Dixie

Logan Maggie said...

Uncle Charlie likes to stare out the window from the couch too, and when he sees a BiG dog he has to show he is a very tough dog so he tears up the couch. Now, we don't have no more couch at grandma's house. Booooo!!!!

I feel your pain!

--Maggie & Logan

Hound Girl said...

BOL holy crap I laughed so hard when I saw that pic of puddles, poor thing she should call the aspca on da krazy lady - this is dog abuse!!
HAHA Puddles you are going to have to hit the gym with your mom now!!

What King Albert doesnt have those cute little steps they make for little wee dogs to get up on furniture?!

jen said...

I think that this is going to a be a great toning exercise for you Puddles!

Dip-Dip and the Bridge said...

There always has to be somebuddy who ruins it for the rest of us - darn you Albert, you mummies boy!
Oh well, at least your legs will be nice and athletic, just like Madonnas - wait, thats not a good thing, hehe.
Dip Bridge and Elliot x

Lovable Lily said...

Now Puddles, cut your Mommy some slack. She is trying to keep everyone safe from the evils of ruptured disc's. (Believe me, the surgery is NO fun!) Maybe you can suggest a little ramp to run up and maybe lay on an ottoman. I just know you'll think of something!

Hugs,
Lily Belle

Sam and Pippen said...

So how does moving the sofa away from the window prevent Albert from jumping off the sofa arm? Our sofa is no where near a window and Sam is always jumping of the arm (and driving our mom kerazy!)

Sam and Pippen

Beans4Biscuits said...

Youses momma is just as crazy as mine. She put some crazy giant dog bed (like any of us are gonna use it, ha!) right next to her bed cause that looney Jackson keeps jumping off the bed.

Why does our couches and stuff have to get moved just cause these males act like berzerkers????

Sugar the Who

p's-n-s's::at least you know you looks pretty good on your tippity toes lookin out that window.

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

FURST... DO NOT BITE HER ARM!


BUTT you Gotta DO somethingy so what I (Frankie Furter) think you SHOULD do is make some HOOOOGE SNOT SMEARS all over the window ledge. Maybe even wipe some EYE BOOGIES on it too. THAT will get the couch moved back where it belongs. FAST !!
THEN just to ensure that Albert doesn't jump off the wrong place... Put a BUNCH of YOUR...EMPTY Bud Light Cans on the arm rests and when Albert tries to go off there they will fall off and CLATTER to the floor and Mr. PERFECT will get busted fur makin a big racket.

Bassetmomma said...

Oh it's so nice that your Momma is watching out for Albert, but it sure sucks for you Puddles! But look at how lean and long that stance makes you look! :)

Peggy Frezon said...

Puddles, so sorry your mama moved your couch but you know you don't want Albert to get hurt. Maybe she could put a little trunk or bench or ottoman or something there just the right size for you to look out the window? That is an important job.

Mr. Pip said...

Here's what we do ...we wait until all the peeps and da blobs are asleep. I come over with a cooler of burgers and beer (for strength) and then we blast that couch back to the window!!!

Your pal, Pip

Mr. Pip said...

P.S.: The new camera sure is taking lovely pictures of you guys!

Sarge said...

Hey Puddles!
Wow, this stinks big-time! How can you properly patrol if you gotta be on tippy-toes?!? I can tell you from personal experience that if your nails scratch up that window sill, the couch will magically move back where it belongs! BOL. Meanwhile, great form there and it's good you're so looooong!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

Grady and Leonardo said...

What if all that stretchin to see out the window causes you to pull a hamstring or somethin?

According to mom, every kerazy lady loves an excuse to buy new furnitures.

This is a great reason to get a big cushy ottoman for under the window and a lot less expensive than putting in windows that are closer to the ground.

Remember she was the one that said "Safety First"

Leo and Grady.

BordoggyTerrier said...

Having given the matter some thought I agree with Sarge, it's a bit like Daddy2Legs on about the household chores, do them badly, won't be asked again - so operation "nails a scratching the windowsil" it is then...... - couch soon be back, world peace, karma and harmony thus soon be a restored to where it should be... x

Casey said...

I think Frankie has the right idea. I know your mom was trying to keep him safe -- 'cause back problems are nothing to sneeze at -- but she needs to consider your impawtant job too!

Madi and Mom said...

MOL Puddles here all along we thought it was you who rules the roost and now we find out it is Blob 1.

And it also appears you are not as vertically challenged as we thought.
Good grief girlfriend look at you working those finely tuned shapely muscles.

Hugs from your BFFF,
Madi

Amber DaWeenie said...

Wowie....you gots a nice hour-glass figure dere, girlfuriend! I's just one one roll of sausage all da way down! :o(

Let me see heres.....dat ledge looks just da right height where you could use it fur a nice chew stick!

Brian said...

You need to go to Couches R Us and fetch yourself one home!

Berts Blog said...

Poor Puddles, To have your life foiled by a brother is just wrong. I mean, yes, it is important to keep Albert safe but to move the couch away from the window. well that is just not fair.

However my dear Puddles, sometimes there is nothing we can do but ajust. Humans seem to rule....

Posie said...

Heheeehe pUddles, da site owf yoo jumperin up own da wall too see ouwt of da winddrow wazz too funnie to be allowd heeeeheeee!! Yoo iz just too smawll! hehee! Yeah fo I agree wiv Sarge n Frankie n Barnie, yoo need to skrachy tha wall n maybee yoo kud get sum skwirrel snott n rub on da windrow sill n go owt in da gardin n gett yoor feeeties awll muddery n theen rub that own tha wall too n yoor mum'll justt havv to put da sofar bakk! n Albert shood get a mini cowch like my wun n den he cantt hurtid hiself! YEAH! eetz trrooo! love pdorg xxox

GOOSE said...

Puddles the things you have to endure. I am amazed you do not drink more than you do. You are a pillar of strength. I do think that if you make lots of nose art on the window the couch might be moved back.
Maybe the brother Albert could be confined to the laundry room. I mean why should you suffer for his carelessness? Sure mom's need to help keep us safe, but at what point does it become enabling careless behavior? I'm just saying.
You can come to my house anytime and look out my windows while standing on my couch. I have 2 windows and there is a couch under each.
Oh and I think your furs look great no need for Debbie to touch a single one of them.
Blessings,
Goose

Nola said...

Brothers! They ruin everything!
Dachshund Nola

Remington said...

That is not right....I have an extra couch I can give you, Miss Puddles....just say when and I will have it delivered....you shouldn't have to stand on your little tippy toes....This way your brother can have his own couch....take care, my friend....

The Websters said...

First, I am really working on getting you some white glasses. Turns out Master is practically blind without them so I'm gonna have to find some somewhere else.

Second, if your mom moved the couch, then she needs to get you an ottoman or a chaise or something. Here's one that would really bring out the beauty in your red hairs. http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/home-furniture/21244835.jsp

Nora

Gloria Hood said...

Wanna borrow my Mom's steppy stool Puddles?
Lovies, Miss Mindy

~Shelle said...

Ahhhhhhh!!!!! I had JUST removed that song from my head-bob and now its rattling around in there again!

Ahhhhh!!!!!
I've wasted my nights,
You turned out the lights
Now I'm paralyzed,
Still stuck in that time,
When we called it love,
But even the sun sets in paradise

Junior, Orion and Sammy said...

Oh Puddles, you look so cute on your tippie paws looking out the window. And we have heard calves and buns of steel are a good thing. Besides, we wouldn't want Alberts back to get hurted! We wouldn't wawnt him to have to have sugicals.

houndstooth said...

Think of it this way, at least you'll have a Greyhound muscle butt after a week of looking out the window that way! I can't believe she won't get you a little step stool or ottoman or something for right there under the window!

Bunny

Sam said...

Hi Puddles, I think that your mum is a very smart and prudent protector. We don't need any more dogs with hurt backs. But you have to admit that you three kids are pretty darn good looking. My brother Owen stands on his tippee toes to look out the window too.

Max the Quilt Cat said...

What beautiful pictures. Hope you get what you need to continue your window patrol.

Pawhugs, Max

scotsmad said...

Ooooo, you got caught up in Albert's fall out!

Just wait until a gang of squirrels starts to terrorize your house and you weren't able to see them...She'll be sorry.

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & roxy

Mr. Pip said...

To answer your question, that beer be mine and it's all gone ...burp.

Asta said...

Ooh, Puddles, that is just not faiw, on the othew paw, it suwe is a chance fow all the boyz to see youw exquisite physi Q what a waistline, what extension(have you been doing those ballet excewcises? Plee ays? Wele ways?
I think you should get yoow own couch, just fow one, and meke it an Albewt fwee zone
i must say that gweat looks wun in yoow fambly, Albewt is qhite devastatingly handsome, of couwse, you my sweet awe the bootifullest

Smoochie kisses
Asta
pee ess, yoo shoowe have the pawfect idea of what I should be getting instead of bafs

Cole said...

Yeesh, she should at least get you a foot stool. We don't want your calves getting too bunky...we all know that it would slow done your gazelle-like lap speed!

Bobbi said...

OH PUDDLES! Life is just not fair, right? LOL> soul mate?? LOL!!!
No more relaxing while looking out that window... but I'm glad you're seeing the positive in all this.
BTW- I think Albert is adorable!!

Lorenza said...

Puddles!
It is not easy to do your job in that way!
But... I have to agree with your mom. She did it for your safety!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Mango said...

Seems like somebody is playing favorites. As if!
Well, that exercise is most excellent for improving your firm buttocks so there you go.

Slobbers,
Mango

Kari in Vegas said...

Well thats just wrong, laying on the sofa and looking out the window is the only way to spend the day

Stop on by for a visit
Kari
http://dogisgodinreverse.com

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Puddles, you just have to tell Mom to get you a little bench and put a nice soft pillow on it so you can keep watch on Da Neighbors.

We are all just loving all those pics. Albert has such beautiful eyes. And Puddles, your buns are just fine the way they are:)

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Two French Bulldogs said...

We love those tippy toes
Benny & Lily

Tweedles -- that's me said...

Thats a real bummer. My mama had the same idea so that I won't be jumping so much--- well what can we do?
Go on strike?
Albert looks so innocent- like it could not be his fault.
love
tweedles

Shawnee the Shepherd said...

Well, that is just so wrong. I think you should file a complaint with PETA. Dogs woz not meant to stand on tippie paws. You dussn't see us in tutus does you? 'Sides, the Stoopids needs to see you in that window to be reminded a VISHUSS guard dog lives next door coz I is sure they furget rilly fast like outta sight, outta their minds.

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Woo will soon be tall enough to ride all the rides at Six Flags!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Jazzi said...

Poor Puddles, I feel fur ya!! Those tippie paws are gonna get tired. YOu better have a chat with Albert and set him straight!!

wags
jazzi

What Remains Now said...

You think you have problems...Nola has a goat!

chicamom85 said...

Puddles, that is a dilemma and buns of steel is nice, but I am afraid your butt might get big and funny looking like lady body builders. I think you should have your own chair by the window and its only for Puddles. Have a sign put on it as follows: THIS CHAIR CAN ONLY BE SAT ON BY PUDDLES THE WATCH DOG. ANY OTHER DOG(ALBERT THAT MEANS YOU) WILL BE SUBJECT TO THE WRATH OF PUDDLES. Put a gate around the chair and a cooler and snack bowl so you don't have to get up except to pee. Good luck and let me know how it works out.

Loveys Sasha

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Hi Puddles, we think the least Albert can do is lay on the floor so you can stand on him to look out the window. Hope you don't get cramp in your calf or bottom muscles from standing that way. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

Roo said...

Oh what a sad sad day! Maybe suggest a cushy landing pad for leaps off the couch instead? Course it is impawtent to keep your butt in shape ;)

Waggin at ya,
Roo

♥Mona + Weenie + Mommy, too♥ said...

Hee, hee!! Mommy said she has to agree with your Mommy. She would have moved the couch too. Don't be mad but Mommy just loves Albert and hers would want to protect him

You look very trim standng on your tippy toes. Who every called you Barrel Butt is crazy.

{{{huggies}}}....Mona

Mitch said...

You have the sexiest leggies, Puddles!

Love ya lots,
Mitch

ABBY said...

Puddles
dat is KNOT fare.
WE say moove dat sofa bak udder da widow.
But we gotta says yoo do sure half kyoot legs.

purrs
>^,,^<
♥Abby♥Boo♥Ping♥Jinx♥Grace♥

Doggie Valentino said...

My little brother is part Dashchund! And boy is he fun to play with because he's got lots and lots of energy... and we also got in trouble for jumping off the top of the couch! LOL

Ann Oon said...

soulmates.. black blobs... can get away with anything... trust me Puds.. trust me.

but you sure have some awesome steel.. i mean calves... i mean hot crossed buns.. urmm.. i guess i am hungry.

woofs n licks,
Dommy

Declan said...

Hello Pudds mate, I've missed you! Have you thought about attaching springs to your back paws. You could see out of the window, steal food from the table, get beer from the fridge... the possibilities are endless.... Deccy x

KB said...

Love that last photo!! You make me laugh.