Friday, September 13, 2013

A Story

Good day boys and girls.
I interrupts my blog today to brings you da latest news.

Today I wants to shares a story withs ya'll.
It's a luverly tale of my...

Da udder day da Kerazy Lady also known as da IDIOT MUM,
 noticed her had gotten bitted by sumptin.
It wasn't a big deal at da moment.
But da next day when her was at da gym it had gotten all red and puffy and hurted.
(Gee mum, was it da fact your shoes was tied right on top and you was doin' cardio?)
It not looks too awfully bad theres.

Hers only gotted 15 minutes in on da treadmill befores her had to stop.
(I soooooo coulda done mores than dat with one eye and throat closed up from a reaction).

Well mum heads off into da udder part of da gym lookin' fur a doctor.
Her spotted one and calls..."Excuse me, I need a doctor."
OMD I was thinkin'...dat is MY doctor...MY vetatrician!

So her tells da good vet ALLS bouts her grody foot.
He looks at her foot and diagnosed it...a bite, prolly a spider...duh.
He says to soak it in Epsom Salt.
He then looks at her and says.."You don't have Epsom Salt do you?"
Yea, dat would be a NO.
Oh PUUUUULEASE, we not even has flour or sugar in da house.
Anyways, so da vet man says to come by da clinic and get some
sort of mossy salve stuffs to draw out da venomous stuffs.
I asked hers if he was gonna takes her tooks her temeperature,
cut her nails, or express her butt glands.
Her rolled her eyeballs at me...can you believes dat?

 I was just in awe dat mum would STEALS MY doctor 
and then has da audacity to gets medical paraphernalia from him too!!!!

Then mum camed home befores her had to go gets da Girl from school
and called Frankie and Ernie's mom...
...cuz her knows everything and tolded mum to takes some Benadryls.
I shared my Benadryl with hers but her gotted her own cup, her not use my cup.
Dat would me gross...

Her dranked it all up likes a good girl.
And then made da goooooofiest expressions on her face.
I not thinks da cherry flavor is too bad.

So her went to da vet shortly laters and he was out of his mossy brown salve stuffs.
Dats what her gets.
Her should gets her own doctor.
Now when peoples ask if mum went to da doctor bout her foot I say,
 "no, her went to da vet."
I gets some really peculiar looks withs my response.

I should prolly also mention dat our vet is a family furiend so he 
knows already knows mum is an idiot specials in her own way.



Lovable Lily said...

We do NOT think it is fair that she stole your Vet, stole your medicine, didn't have her glands expressed, nails trimmed and did NOT have her temperature taken!

You better set her straight Puddles before she really gets outta control!

Lily Belle & Muffin

Madi and Mom said...

mol mol mol Puddles you and your mom have lots of boo boos!

After the express the glands and clip her nails mom fell on the floor with tears in her eyes....OH MY GOSH...

However, seeing your Vet was a brilliant idea after all he sees her more and knows her better than her doctor. MOL MOL
Hugs Madi your BFFF

chicamom85 said...

Puddles, I really don't know what to say. The Mom's are a goofy lot, full of surprises. What is next, is she gonna move into your bedroom with you? Eat your treats? Chase vermin outside? You have to put your paw down on this one. I beg of you Puddles, we have to have something we call our own. Perhaps if she had her glands expressed, she would think twice about going back there. Mommies, you gotta love em. I had to take benedryl yesterday so I am back on day one. I had a bad bad allergy attack, that scared the socks off of Mommy. We are all fine now. Your turn on benedryl and we can include Mom's in this too, if you want.

Loveys Sasha

Mr. Pip said...

Bahwhahahahahahahahahahaha. Your mum at the vet ...bahwhahahahahahahahaa!

Next thing you know the vet will be telling her she can't eat cheeseburgers any more ...oh wait, that's what my vet tells me.

Your pal, Pip

chicamom85 said...

Holy Dookies, I just realized it's Friday the 13th...ok don't don't move...find a spot and don't move. Please make sure there is hypoallergenic food and water within inches of you. No running, no walking fast, no going outside at all. Poop in the house if you must, but for all that is holy, don't go outside today and keep the Kerazy Lady with you. I will do the same, I have already found my spot. Now it begins...

Loveys Sasha(from her spot on the couch)

p.s. keep benedryl close to the foodables.

p.s.s. keep Albert and Whitney away from you

Jazzi said...

Yah, I agree, how can she steals your Dr and stuff?? Who knows why moms do the stuff that they do, actually I dont even think that they know why?? BOL. I do think that she should have had the glands expressed, that was funny!!!

I take benedryl too and my groomer said to give me some fish oil too, so maybe next time, she could go to the dog-groomer?? BOL

P.S. I do think it has been 87 yrs since we saw each other, but ya know the work ethic of our peeps nowadays isnt what it should be!!

Molly The Wally said...

OMD the idiot mum stole your blood stealer Puddles. That is not on. Tell her to get her own. Pity she didn't get her butt glands done....ha ha ....then she'd know what it feels like.
Joking aside hope mum is better. Have a fabulous Friday.
Best wishes Molly

Taryn said...

I'm so glad you explained that the vet is a family friend! LOL!

gyeong said...

Puddles, you really should learn how to share. Even if it is with your mum :)

Reilly-Denny Cowspotdogs said...

I think we would be happy if our Mom stole our vet and we couldn't go see him EVER again. Hope she is feeling okay now

Ann Oon said...

Oh boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.. your mom's story tops it all today. hahahhahahahaa.. she is hiiiiiiilarious.

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

Well now.... Today is FRIDAY the 13th not April Fool's Day... SURELY you are Confused... You are just Yankin our Walkin Strings, AREN'T YOU?
SERIOUSLY???? Your MUM is using YOUR Dogtor... fur HERSELFS??? THIS just can't Be REAL. What was she thinkin?
Her can't be using a VET. THAT is just WRONG. WRONG Wrong WRONG.
We know it has to be a PEEP Joke beclaws WE know that OUR Dogtors ALWAYS steal our Bloods and Clip our Nails and give SHOTS then TAKE our Temperature..THERE... and then Express our Anal Glands. This just has to be a Cruel PEEP JOKE..
BUTT WAIT... there is the BITE and YOU actually DID see her drinking YOUR Benadryl... so PAWhaps this IS real. OMD PUDDLES... your MUM has gone KERAZY. Next she is gonna be Peeing in the Puddles Pro 5000 and Pooping in the Closet. PLEASE tell us that she hasn't started to Scoot her Butt on the Carpet and TRYING to make Deaded Ground hogs and DRINKING YOUR BEERS.
OMD OMD this is SOOOOOOO disturbing. I think I am gonna get myself a BIG Glass of KOOL AID and try to Furget this HORROR.

The Websters said...

The real question is whether or not your vet was a family friend before or after you came along.

Tell your mom we're real sorry about her spider bite. Spiders are pretty foul creatures.

I sure hope you get extra treats for all the sharin you've been havin' to do. YOUR vet....YOUR medicine.

Let your mom know that costco has huge things of benedryl for super cheap for grown ups. Mrs. Master buys it there b/c before she got knocked up, she used it to cure all hear ailments.


Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

OMD Puddles We just had a THOUGHT... Did your Dogtor check your mum fur WORMS? THAT might be what is needed here... We think that she has Worms.
WORMS can cause all SORTS of strange behavior.. YEP her has WORMS fur sure... BUTT they are easy to get rid of... just one little pill is all that is needed. You could put it on one of those Pill Pockets thingys OR wrap it in some Cheese and she will take it right down.
OMD we HOPE that OUR mom doesn't get WORMS like Your Mum has.
THIS is just the most DISTRESSING development.

Coccolino B said...

Your mom at the vet! YOUR vet! Puddles that's just not right.

Mollie said...

Bawahwhahhwhahhawaa You aint'z got soft poop paper eiffer... We'z howling, Lily asked if your idiot..I mean Mom had her glands expressed..Bawahhwhahhwaa Oh wez could go on for hour'z... Too funny Puddles xx00xxx

Mollie and Alfie

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
PUDDLES! (got your attention?... right.) You need to know that VETATRICIANS are a whole lot more qualified than most GPs. Dunno how it is with US but in UK and OZ VETS may treat HUUUmans but GPs canNOT treat animalZ. That's 'cos animalZ iZ Zpecial. Like your mum - who maybe is not the idiot you think.

...A tad lacking in the grocery shopping department, perhaps. Idiocy? I don't think so.

As a Homoeopath I can treat both, so what does that make me? I know - wierd - but helpful. &*>

Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

harrispen said...

Puddles we can hardly believe your mom would go to the vet instead of a people doctor to fix her foot! She is too funny.

Millie & Walter

Marg said...

Oh my COD, poor Mom, she is always having trouble. We thinks she was very very smart to go the your doctor Puddles. Glad she got her glands expressed and her nails clipped too. See how much better the vet is. Puddles, you are the best. Take care.

Sarge said...

Wow, that's too funny! Gee, I think next time you need your glads expressed you should go to your Mom's doctor and see what they think of that! BWAR HAR HAR Ask the peep doctor to roll up his sleeves and get to work for you! OMD this is funny.
Oh, and I hope your Mum's foot get's better soon. Darn nasty spiders anyway. blech
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

Amber DaWeenie said...

Oh afraid! Be VERY afraid. I tinks your Mum has losted it completely. Da next thing her will be doin is eatin all your food and sleepin in your bed. I feels fur ya. And me nose what you's goin through. My Mum has losted it too.

Dip-Dip and the Bridge said...

Mum often says that she would get better treatment from the vet than the NHS!
Gahhhhh a spider bite, runnnnnnnnnn!
Dip Bridge and Elliot x

Casey said...

BOL! I love that your momma went to the vet instead of a human doctor! She knows YOUR vet is the very very best, since he takes such good care of you!

GOOSE said...

You know Puddles I worry about your well being sometimes. Now I know your mom is sweet and nice and means well. Butt sheeesh I hope her spidie bite is better. You know what helps spider bites????? Having your glads expressed. No no it's true, tell her that and I bet the vet would giver her a discount on the account that she know you. Make sure you take pictures when that happens.

The Furries of Whisppy said...

Your Mom saw your vet? HAHAHAHA! Oh, we so wish she had the full check up with our Vet. You know, the temperature, the anal glands. HAHAHAHA!!!

Lady Vicki said...

oh Puddles you tell a great Story, we laughed so much our sides hurt. Hope your mom is better and has gone shopping. Take care of yourself and your mom. xoox

Ruby said...

WTF?????? Okays, now your Moms just crossed the line gurl!! YOUR VETTIE?! HOLY PUDDLES' POOP!!!! Just wrong. Wrong.
Nows, since she was there at the vetties, I hopes the vettie checked her for fleas. I thinks she's got the fleas. I thinks that's what bit her! Be very careful Puddles, you don't want any of those fleas on you!!! Just to be safe, you better gets her a flea dip!
And, she didn't have any of her own Benadryls???? She used YOURS??? WHAT THE DOG??????
Wells, as longs as she doesn't touch your beers...never let her touch the beers.
Mom cooties...gross indeed.
Ruby ♥☺

Brian said...

So Puddles, you really never said...what was her temperature MOL!

da tabbies o trout towne said...

puddles....we canna tell a lie heer....we think sum vets bee better for peepulz sted oh peepulz own docturrz...sorree de taran toola spider bited her in de furst place ......all sew...we iz thinkin sum salvee iz way better then a subscriptshun...coz her wood get home; take de subsciptshun then knead 593 more subscriptshunz ta stop causin all de trubull de furst 10 maded....all de while de dam taran toola bite iz still on her foot.....just sayin...

hay, hope everee one haza flounder filled week oh end !!

The Life of Riley said...

BOL. Did the vet have to give the spider any treatment after the spider went near you mum?

scotsmad said...

Maybe she'll get a two for one deal...

Your the Vet's best customer, aren't you? But takin' YOUR medicine..that's not she'll be into your beer.

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Watch her, she may be chasin' squirrels next.

Mitch and Molly said...

We can't believe that your mom stole YOUR vet, Puddles!
We hope her foot is feeling better!

Love ya lots♥
Mitch and Molly

Nola said...

BOL not fair not fair!

What Remains Now said...

I'm glad you drew the line at sharing the drinking receptacle. Sheesh! She's taking over everything. Time to reestablish dominance.

Murphy said...

We hope your mom's foot is better. Did she wear slippers to the gym?

Your Pals,

Murphy & Stanley

Barbara said...

Puddles, Tweedles is having surgery. Please see my blog and tell your blog followers.

Team Beaglebratz said...

Mom Kim here - well Miss Puddles, you know how us kerazy ladiez can be sometimesand besides - maybe your mom did think she was going to a people doctor it doesn't take much to make us kerazy ladiez even more kerazy :)
Mom Kim

Dougall-the-Scottie said...

I hope your peep is careful, she might start growing furs if she keeps using your dogtor!

KB Bear said...

Oh Puddles, you tell the best stories. Da vet didn't clip her toe nails or express her anal glands? Negligent, I think!

I hope your kerazy mom feels better very soon.

PS I tend to respect vets far more than people doctors so I'd go to a vet if I could!

Sam said...

Thank goodness your mom will survive.

jen said...

Lol! Your Mom is finally catching on Puddles! I've probably been treated by a vet more than a regular doc over the last 8 years-but don't tell anyone that! Sometimes Sherman and Leroy get a cold and need some antibiotics :)

♥Mona + Sissy + Mommy, too♥ said...

OH NO!! Hope your Mom is Ok. Our Mommy had to go to the hospital when that happened to hers.

POFP works in peeps too.

♥♥♥Mommy's girls

Nancy Hunt said...

Love your kerazy lady stories.

Aunt Nancy

Wyatt said...

Take good care of your mum. Hope you bought a lot of that Benadryl are gonna be rich! :D

Wyatt and Stanzie

houndstooth said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, thank you for a good laugh! I hope taking your medicine made your mom start feeling better, and not scooting her butt across the floor!


Raelyn said...

"Now when peoples ask if mum went to da doctor bout her foot I say,
"no, her went to da vet."
I gets some really peculiar looks withs my response.". Crack. Me. Up!! ;op
--Raelyn and Rose

georgia little pea said...

Dear Pudds, just be glad your Dr Dog didn't have to express your mama. Apart from calling her names (again), I hope you are being good, and that your mama is well again. Stuff really does happen to her a lot, doesn't it?! HUGS X

Kari in Alaska said...

your mom is a thief!

Stop on by for a visit

Marilia Bavaresco said...

Oh my.... I´m laughing... sorry!

Grady and Leonardo said...

Hey Ms. P
I'm feeling better and didn't want you to think we had forgotten you. If your Momma needs a good doggytrician we can hook you up with Leo's most awesomest Dr. Andy Carver. He is the bestest doggytrician and would take care of your momma. I bet he'd even clip her nails for free and find some brown gooey stuff for her spider bite. We've missed following you and hopefully Momma has her act back together and can stay in touch. Love you. Leo, Grady and Momma

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Heheheheh. Although I think our Mom is special in her own way, too. She was calling her doctor (a human doctor) for an appointment, and ended up calling our VET on his cell phone. Needless to say, our vet was super impressed. (Or not...) *sigh*

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Alien said...

Keep mom safe for us!

If she gets sick, who will feed all those hot celebrities she locked up in the basement?


Declan said...

You really can't trust them can you? Mine has been hobbling around with a walking stick....just because I ran into her legs and her landed SPLAT on the concrete. Idiot. Deccy xxx

Inger said...

You and your mom, Puddles, and now the vet too. I don't know what to say about this story except I hope your mom's better and that you are behaving yourself.

Shawnee the Shepherd said...

So my mom is hasing this confursation with my V-E-T one time about how when animals has skin stuff wrong with them they can deal with it and not get all skeeved out. But when peeps has skin stuffs wrong, EWWWWWWWWW, GROSS. Do your mom knows how this grossed your V-E-T out? Butt glands be nuttin in comparison, BOL!

Bobbi and Gracie said...

LOL! Too funny Puddles! But honestly, I think Gracie gets better care than me... so I'm thinking about switching to a Vet too..!

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Yes, your mom is very specials. Good for her for being brave enough to take ribbing from you to get help for her foot. :)

Pippa Sheltie said...

Oh, Puddles, the things you and Mom get up to!!! You crack us all up, but really, why go to the vet if they're not going to trim your claws and check your glands? Aw, but it's nice you let her share your Benadryl, so thoughtful!
Is her foot better?
Have a super weekend,
Pippa :)

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