Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Dear Santa Man....


I decided to email a letter to Santa Man so
he would knows bouts his little Elf and da
chaos her has caused.





Dear Santa Man,

Dis is Puddles D. Rainwater and we needs to talk.
Your little elf Chrissy has been heres at my homestead causin' total havoc furs me. I can not takes it anymores. Can you please come gets her? I is quite certain there is a far more worse dogs than me in dis world, can you send her to their house? I mean fur pete's sake hers even tried to turn me into a sled dog. I does not has da body to be a sled dog.
And one thing I does not take well is peoples OR elves usin' my shavin' creams. Then hers even stold Skipper's convertible. And  hers has been corruptin' Mini Puddles. Her was already corrupted but dat ain't da point. Also, her has been mean to my Gussie and I will not tolerate dat at alls. Her tolded him him was not purties. Him is beautifuls. So, you has a lot of makin up to do fur me havin to endure dis kerazy, possessed elf. I will send you a rough draft of what I want. I has also attached some fotos as examples of Chrissy's behavior, just so you'll knows.
 

Sincerely,
Puddles D. Rainwater


attemptin' to turn me into a sled dog

 stealin' MY shavin' creams

carjackin' Skipper's convertible

on da fone withs Gussie...pretendin' to be Alicia.


Christmas Card Count

Puddles: paper cards- lost count

                   email cards- lost count

        Hoomans- who cares, I is winnin'


Puddles

50 comments:

gyeong said...

I think Santa needs to step up and take full responsibility. You should get everything you want on your list for pain and suffering.

YourSpecialDog said...

I think elf Chrissy is too cute and adorable be good to him :P

Madi and Mom said...

MOL MOL MOL PUDDLES WTG GIRLFRIEND CHRISSY GOOSE IS COOKED. SANTA DOES NOT LIKE OUTLAW ELFS.

HEY IF ALL ELSE FAILS I'LL SEND YOU SOME OF MY ORGANIC CATNIP THAT IS SURE TO PUT HER IN ANOTHER STRATOSPHERE. MOL MOL
HUGS MADI YOUR BFF

Molly The Wally said...

Puddles you so crack us up and we need it. LOL send Chrissy over here and I'll dead her for you. I'll show her Christmas cheer right with a good chew. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
Best wishes Molly

Ann Oon said...

this Chrissy seems like quite a character.. look at her eyes... she's up to something allssssssssssss the times.. we thinks.

Hopes the santa man wills makes up to you Missy Puddles and send u a dozen of shaving creams and a a a a .. urrmm.. a carton of beers and thems cheetos.

carefuls with Chrissy.. me no trust no Chrissy with those eyes...

Lovable Lily said...

We just KNOW that Santa is bring you everything (well, maybe NOT everything) you ask for. No Puddles D. Rainwater should have to put up with such torment from the Elf who doesn't stay on the shelf!

Hugs,
Lily Belle & Muffin

Sam and Pippen said...

If Santa is a smart man, and we all know he is, he'd leave Chrissy at your place all year just to drive you bonkers!

Sam and Pippen

harrispen said...

We're glad we don't have a Chrissy elf living here. She kind of gives us the creeps.

Millie & Walter

Amber DaWeenie said...

Oh Dog Almighty! I's missed most of da chaos you's been havin to put up wit! Dis is terrible...terrible I says!

You beheaded Barbie....Do you still haves dese skills? Better wait until AFTER Christmas though and den....oops! Head Gone!

stellaroselong said...

We finks that sometimes parents even Santa can't handle bad kids and he is just waiting for the cops to pick hers up. Gussie hates her cos she has ruined his reputation with Santa and maybe evens the womens in the world.
Stella Rose

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

While turning you into a sled dog (of sorts) is bad, suggesting Gussie is anything other than beautiful is reprehensible. Perhaps Chrissy is not an actual agent of Santa, but of someone trying to corrupt you in Santa's eyes. We think Chrissy should go back into whatever box she crawled out of. Just saying...

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Marg said...

Oh Puddles, we are so glad that you wrote Santa about that Chrissy. Hope Chrissy does end up here but she wouldn't like it here with all these kitties. They would take care of that Chrissy. Puddles, you sure do make our Person laugh. Hope all of you have a great day.

Mr. Pip said...

Swoooooooosssssshhhhh ...Did you see that super FAST landing ...CRASH ...oops, sorry about Christmas tree.

I hear you are telling Ruby she is faster than me. The only reason she is so fast is cause she is wearing MY coat. If you recall, I'm the fastest dog in Blogville. Just ask Bunny. Bawhahahahaha

AP

Reilly-Denny Cowspotdogs said...

We are so glad we don't have no Crissy at our house although it wouldn't last 2 minutes here the destuffy Dweeb monster would get her and that would be the end of her. Would you like me to send the Dweeb over to your place?

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

Here is what I (Frankie Furter) think... since you live in SOUTH C. it is way to warm fur actual SnowFreaks so Chrissy is a Combo ... A Mixed Breed.. She is a ElFREAK
SHE is fur SURE An ElFreak... she is EVIL and VILE and should be STERILIZED or DEADED before she BREEDS. You could Smear her with Hand Sanitizer or put her in Boiling Water.
Puddles you can NOT WAIT fur Santa Paws to do anythingy about this... Take it in your own Paws... STOP the ElFreak in her tracks.

Casey said...

What a mean elf! I don't think that was what Santa had in mind at ALL.

Sam and Pippen said...

Stop packing your suitcase! Those lights aren't at our house... those are the lights from the neighbours houses! Our mom is too lazy to put lights up BUTT she says maybe next year!

S n P

Mr. Pip said...

Should I wear the pink dress with sparkles or the purple dress with lace to the NYE party? Will there be punch and cookies?

Ruby

Kari in Alaska said...

That Elf is up to no good!

Stop on by for a visit
Kari
http://dogisgodinreverse.com/

stellaroselong said...

Dear PUddles:
I nows has to sleep wif one eye open cos I is afraids, yes a fears for my life, I has bad dreams about Chrissy breakin the glass door and stealin me away to siberia for the rest of my life....can you trade her to the squirrels or something like that...or put her in a box and mail her to someone yousa don't like...
Angus McConnell Long
P.S. where do i send my therapy bill?

Wyatt said...

Not sure that Santa wants Chrissy back, but maybe he can send her to Frankie and Ernie's place and her can have some fun with all the "snow freaks" they have!

Wyatt and Stanzie

easyweimaraner said...

I hope Santa can do something. Can he? Think so. The Santa man can, or how they call this song. Otherwise I have a free place for that elf in my ole crate, where my staff has to spend christmas, think they would like each other.

stellaroselong said...

Isa just called up to sheriff dan and he says there is a empty cell for hers the onliest problem is hers is anorexic and will slip through the bars and we just live down the hill and hers will find me... ......Gussie

Taryn said...

Hope Santa cooperates and sends that ol' Chrissy somewhere else!

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
That elf is creeping ME out and it's not even in the same country...

Also - what is Ruby thinking, asking the Puddster for wardrobe guidance on the NYE party???? Oh dear. I am holding my breath.

Be kind to her Puddles darling - and go kick that elf's butt.

Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

Sweet William The Scot said...

Puddles I understand you has no flour.
When you mix flour and water you get glue. Right?
When you mix flour, water, eggs, and sugar you get cookie. Right?
Then I came to know that the glue is what makes the cookies stick to your butt! Puddles that is why you are a slim trim trouble maker.
Thanks for being a friend
Sweet William The Scot





The Furries of Whisppy said...

Wherever Santa sends Chrissy, we hope it won't be here!

Idaho PugRanch said...

OMD Puddles too funny, that Chrissy probably was flunked out or elf school and is taking revenge. We say dig a hole and bury her, kinda like we are all burying the peeps in the card department BOL!!
hugs

Two French Bulldogs said...

Chrissy is getting zip-o for Christmas
Lily

da tabbies o trout towne said...

puddles...if ya wanna send chrissy heer... her can chillax on de sandee shores o trout towne...we canna say what will happen when de moon bee on de horizon...de tides be on de rise....de gentle breeze bee passin thru de palms....a gator takes hiz solly tarry stroll on de beech.....him waddles thru on hiz way ta perch park...leevin hiz feetz prints bee hind in de sandz oh time...N whatz thiz...a wee tinee veree little trooly small ...red hat...

Pippa Sheltie said...

Quite right Puddles, who's Santa to send you more mischief than even you could do?! Hahaha, Chrissy gonna get in lots of trouble I think!
You're letter sounded superb, there's no way Santa can't refuse to take her back!
Poor little Gussie, Chrisyy's a menace!
Pippa :)
P.S. glad you're out-carding the peeps

scotsmad said...

Those elves have been creating havoc all over Blogville. Who came up with that idea...Santa needs to REVIEW this policy and QUICKLY!

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

The Big Man OWES you...

The Websters said...

I hope that Santa takes action really soon.

I wasn't GIVING KISSES!!! I was smelling his breath like any respectable dog does to every human.

Duh.

Nora

Inger said...

Do you want me to send in a Swedish Troll to come get her?

Dip-Dip and the Bridge said...

Hey, we know we are worse than you but we don't want the bi*ch!
Hope Santa grants your wishes and gives you all the Bud you can drink.
Dip Bridge and Elliot x

KB Bear said...

That Chrissy is something else. But, aren't you worried about making Santa mad with your letter? It could affect your pressies.

What the heck do you, Puddles, do with shaving cream? I gots to know!

chicamom85 said...

Nice job Puddles, that ought to wipe that poop eating grin off her smug little face! I have a favor to ask. I am headed over to Sarges New Years Bash and all the jobs are taken so can I help you put umbrellas in your drinks?? I could be your umbrella girl and maybe cherries too, I like those cherries. I promise to do a good job and not stab anyone with the sharp end( well I can't promise after a few cocktails). I have very little experience doing this, but I am sure you could train me in not time at all. Please let me know when you can.

Thanks and Loveys Sasha

p.s. I love love love your Christmas card, but I had it on one side about half way up the display. Every day I come to check my cards and the Puddles card is smack in the middle getting all the attention. How does it move itself? I have given up and left it in the middle and I thought I saw a small glow all around it. Crazy huh??

Susie and Sidebite said...

Puddles you a one pupper riot!

The Mad Scots

Nola said...

BOL this is fabulous!
Nola

chicamom85 said...

Puddles, I think it best you don't bake. I have heard stories about your peecan pie and its not good. Thank you for letting me do umbrellas. Let me know when my training will start. I will also need to test all the drinks with you first I think just to be fully informed.

Loveys Sasha

P.s. please do not drive Mitch and Molly to the hospital, they have enough going on over there. Just sayin

Raelyn said...

Puddles....
Chrissy!! That is his name!! I was trying to remember it the other day.... And.... Curse my premature short-term memory loss!! ;op
--Raelyn and Rose

Brian said...

I think you could make a trade...for a beer or something!

Sarge said...

Wow, this elf has got to go! The sled thing is the final straw. You can tell she's evil by that totally FAKE and phony smile of hers. She needs a bashing and I'd love to come over and put a Sarge bash on her fake self. Humpf. Santa better get a move on or she's toast.
Grr and a Festive Woof,
Sarge, Pol Comm

houndstooth said...

Bwaaaa ha ha ha! Oh, your elf is way worse than ours! But Morgan did teach her to wear a bite sleeve and do Schutzhund and Dad caught her on his motorcycle in the garage. Thank gosh she's not into stealing our stuff!

Bunny

Tweedles -- that's me said...

That silly elf does not come around here either- thank goodness!
love
tweedles

Ann Oon said...

yes.. a ps action and a filter too :D

Coccolino B said...

Puddles, that sure was a good informative letter. That Chrissy, I don't know about her.

Oz theTerrier said...

I sure hope Santa takes your letter seriously, Puddles because that Chrissy is nothing but Trouble! Santa sure does owe you for puttin up with her crazy ways...so he better be leaving you lots of treats and toys on Christmas.
*Cairn cuddles*
Oz

Murphy said...

You have presented an excellent case for Chrissy to GO!

Your Pals,

Murphy & Stanley

What Remains Now said...

I think Chrissy has gone rogue.