Friday, February 7, 2014

On Sale Now

Well hello theres boys and girls!
Tis I, Puddles Duddles Rainwater and i is back afters an unintended sabbatical....courtesy of mum.
Now while I was away i has been keepin' up with everybuddy's weather on da
news ...you knows...befores da Kardashian's came on.
Gracious was i ever sorry fur lots of ya'll withs da ice and da snows.
All I could thinks of was how in da world ya'll was peein' and a poopin' .
If ya'll is likes me then you not wanna go outside in da icey cold temps to pee and poop.
(peein' and poopin' in da cold is over rated)

Then it hit be like an automobile hits a squirrel in da road...
I decided to brings back da Puddles Pro 5000 fur all ya'll in need.
(I advertised it a way long back.)
Now ya;ll won't has to go out in -10 degree weather to takes care of business.

And bein' da generous dog dat I is I even decided to put it on sale.
$8,700...withs free shippin' and handlin'.

 Da Puddles Pro 5000 even comes withs a  privacy screen.
Cuz you know, sometimes privacy can be an issue in a house full of hoomans.
Sometimes they likes to check our poops to sees if it be normals..WTF?

 It is large enough for you big dogs to turn around for your comfort needs.

Now if you is faint at heart and not likes to jump OR your peoples has banned you from jumpin'...
or if your just too lazy to jump...
I has da all NEW Amateur 1000 just fur you dogs!

It's a mat dat all you has to do is squat and your DONE!
Best of all there is no assembly required.
Dis sales at $87.
Nows dat is a steal!

Now no more goin outside to brave da elements fur all ya'll.
Call 1-800-Pudpro...our operators will be standing by.
You do not wanna be left out in da cold...get yours today before they is all gone.

Puddles...entrepreneur

73 comments:

Dexter said...

Puddles, I sure could use that around here. I'm having a heck of a time finding just the right spot to do my business with all the snow covering up my snuffle spots. Momma even threatened to bottle my pee and pour it on a snow bank to "encourage" me. Well, you can just imagine.

Kisses,
Dexter

Molly The Wally said...

LOL Puddles we think those might be a real hit. We have no such problem here but got any ideas on how to stop trench paw? The rain just keeps on coming. Have a fabulous Friday and stay warm.
Best wishes Molly

Madi and Mom said...

Puddles D. Rainwater
finally you wised up taking my online Litter box For Doxie 100.
That is the biggest dang litter box I've ever seen...so do you have the litter delivered in bulk?
Hugs and W E L C O M E Back
sweetie pie I missed you like I've missed the sunshine
Hugs madi STILL your BFFF

The Furries of Whisppy said...

Hahaha! Being an older girl with legs that aren't as strong as use to be, Whisky would like the Amateur 1000. ;)

Marg said...

Oh Puddles. I sure needed a good laugh this morning and you sure provided that. We love your very large litter box and the rug works well too for those emergency needs to pee. You are just such a smart girl. We are sooooooooooooo glad to see you back. You all take care and have a super day.

Agnes B. Bullock said...

Puddles, you are a genus! There will be a run on the Amateur 1000 and the fancy schmancy model- both are super cheap too! We will take two of each please!

Amber DaWeenie said...

Oh Puddles....I has an item you's can add to you's store. How bout some steps to da PENTHOUSE PEE (in udder words....on tops of da bed!) Nice and soft on da foot pads.

:)

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

OMD OMD OMD It is only 10 degrees here this morning... we NEED a Puddles Pro 5000... AND since there are # TWO of US... pawhaps we should also have the Amature 1000 ... as a BACK UP... you know, to prevent OVER FLOW and stuffs...
Could you please put a RUSH on that order???
THIS is BRILLIANT... and the timing is PERFECT since we are gonna get MORE Snow.
PEE S.... does the Puddles Pro 5000 come with an imitation Tree or Fireplug? Or are those only available in the DELUX model?

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

PEE S we would like to THANK you fur Sponsoring the Blogville
Mini US-lympic Skating Rink with your advertisement for the Puddles PRO-5000.
BUTT the Committee wants you to know that sponsorship at that level does NOT give you access to the Zamboni... You must up your sponsorship to the next Level (87 Bazillion) fur THAT pleasure... SO PARK IT.

houndstooth said...

Oooo! Does it come with color options? I'd like one in pink and Flattery would like a purple one!

This wasn't some trick by your mom to get you to take a bath, was it? Because that contraption of yours looks suspiciously like a bath tub. You might want to do a bit of redesigning on that part!


Bunny

P.S. It is SO good to see you back!

Tank said...

Puddles - long time, no see. Good for you for taking advantage of a dire situation... I myself have had to resort to doing my business in the middle of the street! This was somewhat embarrassing at first, but now I just don't give a sh**.

Brian said...

Yes, they will be a big hit, which is much better than a miss!

Casey said...

I knew you would be back and with something pawesome to benefit Blogville -- and I was right!! On the really cold days, my kitty siblings have offered to share their litter boxes, but a dog just has to have his pride, you know?

Millie and Walter said...

Hi Puddles! We love that idea and wish our pawrents would get us one of those. We think our mom would appreciate not having to go outside to pick up our poops when it is -5 degrees outside.

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

OMD OMD The PAWLICE are lookin fur YOU... you WRECKED the concession Stand with the Zamboni and there is a RIOT over there with everybuddy Lickin up the DRINKS... PLUS some of them must have been LACED with Somethingy...beclaws they are causing the ICE TO MELT..
YOU are in BIG TROUBLE NOW!!

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

PEE S.... PLEASE RUSH our shipment...before you get Caught.

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

I have to admit, being fans of cold and snow, we aren't too bothered by it all, but we are impressed with your entrepreneur spirit! We have no doubt you'll make enough to buy yourself beer and cheetos to last for at least a week or so!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Inger said...

Oh,Puddles, I will make so sure that Samson doesn't read this post!

Good to have you back, I was beginning to get worried. Hope mum is doing OK. Hugs from Samson and me.

Elyse and Riley said...

You know, if it had been the $8,700 PLUS shipping costs, that would've been too much...butt...since you're throwing in free shipping, it won't break the bank! Oh crap (get it, "crap?"), I forgot that Riley is a nut head and likes to go out in the cold and snow for whatever awful reason. Maybe to kill birds...mwuahaha! ;)

Are you throwing in free shipping for the $87 mat? That's a steal. Riley's Grandma wet her pants the other night because she was laughing so hard...and it went right on my bathroom floor. I'm thinking about buying her one of these $87 mats to just tie to her feet so it'll be there all the time. Or maybe I should get her some Depends or something... :)

Elyse and Riley

Team Beaglebratz said...

We Beaglebratz haz an idea that mite make this - not just appealin'tue thoze who DUE NOT want tue go outside BUTT also tue their hoominz - on the Puddles Pro 5000 sumhow git the floor of it tue open up (butt the doggy wood stay in place) so that it can just "dump' the poop rite off the floor and may-b even a way tue spray off the floor fer anythin'left "b-hind".
Shiloh'n Diva Shasta

easyweimaraner said...

Puddels, that's the must have of the year. Do you accept a check, chewed instead of signed?

Idaho PugRanch said...

Oh we must have one of these. It has been so cold here 0 degrees yesterday, this would be nicer than doing our business in the back hallway (Bailey!) Mom and Dad would not have to carry us in when our feet freeze.
hugs
Mr Bailey, Hazel & Greta

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
OMD OMD OMD - I just wuz sayin' to Lady Vicki the other day that I had not seen Puddles since the new year hit and I wuz getting wurried - but beeeennnn soooo busy myself with buying property that I just didn't get round to checking up on you. I do hope the year is okays for you and mom and the girl...

As for the commercial - you are the prettiest model I ever did see!! No matter the subject, you make it posh.

Great big hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

Two French Bulldogs said...

Oh dear! Are there any bids? Hope the pad is used
Lily

Reilly-Denny Cowspotdogs said...

sounds like the perfect solution - trying to pee on frozen grass is no fun

da tabbies o trout towne said...

puddles...we will take de amachure 1000 model, with pee pleez.. N then when we pee out side oh de litterz box, we can honest lee say when asked ....who peed on de rug...that de dawg did it !! hope ewe haza salmon N shrimpz kinda week oh end !!

Taryn said...

Ah, if only it was that easy. Not only do my boys need to feel the cold air on their bottoms, it needs to be a significant distance from their house, before they will drop the bomb so to speak ;-)

Sketching with Dogs said...

Er that $8,000 price tag is a little steep for us....
Having said that, it would make a nice change from the cold, wet garden.
Dip and Elliot x

scotsmad said...

We're lucky we live in a drought-prone area. We don't need to resort to alternates much. (Bella uses the back verandah sometimes, it has a concrete floor).

Actually, we saw your sponsorship on F & E's blog, but we didn't know what the Pro-5000 was. Thanks for showing us.

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Wyatt said...

That is super handy and good to know that it comes in a large size...we will take 2 cases. Just put it on Frankie Furter's charge card, he is so generous that way!

Wyatt and Stanzie

Daisy said...

So, do you have to live in a snowy area to use these As Seen On The Internet products? I think I have some pup friends who would really get a kick out of them. Do you take treats for payment?
oxox
Daisy

Murphy said...

Let us know how those sales are going! We just stopped over real fast since we are in Sochi competing in the Olympics. Make sure when you watch TV you look to see us!

Your Olympic Pals,

Murphy & Stanley

Nola said...

BOL I use the second one!
Nola

Linda said...

Puddles can you FED express me one?
The weather man is just saying we are going to get snow this weekend.
Do they come in different colors?
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.

XO Cinnamon

Susie and Sidebite said...

Well, now that sounds like a great offer, however we like going out and shooting frozen poopie pellets at the birds. As far as pee mail is concern, do i9t and move quick to break the icicle off!

The Mad Scots

KB Bear said...

Can we pay with 8700 cheeseburgers???

Brilliantly funny post!

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

BUT Puddles, it really is so much more fun to see how much of that pristine white snow we can turn bilious yellow and how quickly:)

Woos - Phantom, Ciara, and Lightning

GOOSE said...

OK I will admit that while I like the snow and stuff I have to say there are times that I just don't want to go out there, butt... well you know you just have to. Butt now I can just order from you and not worry about freezing my plumbing off. You do except credit cards don't you? Of course you do, I'll take one deluxe model and 3 economy models that I will give as gifts.
Blessings,
Goose

Sully said...

Puddles, you're a freakin genius!

Aroo to you,
Sully

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Oooh, Puddles, we could even use that here in Oz. It's stinking hot and we do not want to go ouside. Hope mum leaves the plug hole open in the big white thingy cause we don't want it to overflow if Rory does a wee ahahahaha. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

Tweedles -- that's me said...

You always know how to do it Puddles,, you know how to make us laugh! Welcome back
love
tweedles

What Remains Now said...

Genius! Both are good ideas.

Chef Sasha said...

OMD Puddles, I have my Mommies credit card and I will give you all the numbers, send me the smaller one for now, the big one looks kind of scary and it might cost a lot to ship. Send me mine as soon as you can, ok??? I am so happy that you are back that I just went and took a poop in the dining room(don't tell my Mom)

Loveys Sasha BFF

Mitch and Molly said...

Sold! You are a genius for coming up with this idea,Puddles!

Love ya lots♥
Mitch

ANGEL ABBY said...

MOL Puddles how about a litter box?

gyeong said...

I think I saw a similar product on an infomercial the other night at 3am when I had insomnia :) Limited time offer of course.

Maggie Mae and Max said...

Puddles!

We have no doubt dat you is gonna makes a lot of green papers wif your most wunderful inventions!

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae and Max

PeeS From Max: I am lookin' forward to spendin' Valentine's Day wif you! xoxo

Angel Junior, Orion and Sammy said...

Wow Puddles! We hope you have sold a few of those! Those are very good items to avoid doing ones business in the great outdoors!

Enid said...

OMD I has to buys that rights away! Maybes just the pee mat furs me since I don'ts really likes baths!
Have a goods one Puddles,
Enid oxoxox :)

Uji, Izzy, Ziggy, Missi + Hiro said...

Ohhh wee finks wee needs at leest two ovs both ovs dem cos it is sooooo wets n windisome ere, wee no likes dat wet YUCKY stuffs.
How soons can dem bee here Puddle ?

Lovs
Da K Krew
XXXXX

Bobbi and Gracie said...

OH MY GOSH HAVE I MISSED YOU PUDDLES!!! I cracked up before and I cracked up again! You are so funny!! This is especially funny because we just got well over a foot of snow out there, and #1 on my list of things to shovel was a place for Gracie to potty. And I have found out that with snow accumulating several inches in a short amount of time, it is hard to see the fresh poop and yes, I stepped in it and carried some into the house. So I am very interested in what you have to offer here. LOL>LOL>LOL And do you accept paypal?

Sam said...

Ah we'll take 2. We're paying with Canadian dollars. They are almost as good as yours. Here take these....

Mollie said...

I'll pass on both, that looks too much like what is upstairs in our house, and I get drowned in it when I'M muddy..Loving the pee mat BOL.. Great to see you back Puddles, wez mizzed you . HAPPY VALENTINES XXXOXXX

Mollie and Alfie

Bicontinental Dachshund said...

Great job, Puddles! Even if you don't sell any of the items, this remains a four-figure post!

♥Mona + Sissy + Mommy, too♥ said...

Puddles!! Where was you at the dance on Valentine's day? Bentley took Amber for Angel Weenie and we told me so much about yous that he wanted am dance with you.
We missed our Puddles. Hope you get to watch them Smilebox.

♥♥♥Mona, Prissy and a disappointed Bentley

A MilShelb Mom said...

BOL!! Puddles! We know you had this same AWFUL weather we did... how'd you like the snow? We did NOT!! Forget the mats... we just peed on the floor. Let us tell you how much Mom liked that... yeah, not at all.

~Milly and Shelby

dappled grass said...

Yolo puddles~ my old man and I are lookin' for a doxie like u. Where can we find a short coat standard brown doxie, preferably smart and with a wry sense of humour? Much thanks if u can give us a tiny clue.

Raelyn said...

Puddles!!....
I've been a stranger in these parts of Blogville--again!!--it feels so good to be back!! ;-D
WELCOME BACK, FRIEND!! I MISSED YOU!! ;)
Shadow, my first Beautifully Unique mutt, hated the snow!! We had to dig through until finding grass so that she will go, because accidents? That was not among her laundry list of behavior problems!! Shadow would have held it all in, poor girl!! Now Rose? She likes the snow!! ;-D
Well.... Aren't you just a little Salesdog? ;op
--Raelyn and Rose

Mollie said...

About time youz got off your hellbow and did anuufer post..Miss you Puddles and Mom xxoxxx

Mollie and Alfie

Raelyn said...

Puddles....
It has been over one month since you last posted on this Blog!! I am missing my Friend!! Life has been seemingly busy for me lately. I wrote a fictional children’s story for March which was posted on my Blog, "Minuscule is good!". We have been watching my two-year old niece, "Amethyst", once a week. How are you, Friend? ;op
--Raelyn and Rose

Team Beaglebratz said...

We Beaglebratz r hopin'all iz well with Ms Puddles an'her mom an'Whitley an'Albert tue! We all in Blogville r missin'our Doxie with 'tude.
Shiloh'n Diva Shasta

Alien said...

Your genius never ceases to amaze me, Minx.

Yours,

Sweet William The Scot said...

Puddles ~ Was you and the Crazy Lady in Cincinnati yesterday. I saw a car with the License Plate
- Crazi Ldy with magnets that said they Love their dogs.
Just asking?
Sweet William The Scot & Lee

DoMoFi said...

^^ lol

Madi and Mom said...

PUDDLES DUDDLES RAINWATER I'VE BEEN CALLING THAT 1800 number NO ANSWER WHERE ARE YOU I NEED YOUR EXPERT ADVICE AND NEED TO TELL YOU SOME IMPAWTANT THINGS. GET YOUR DOXIE TUSH MOVING WE MISS YOU.
HUGS MADI YOUR BFFF

Pippa Sheltie said...

Ahahaha, oh Puddles! You are hilarious!
Where are you though?! I know I'm late here, but I'm missing you already!
Pippa :)

DoMoFi said...

We want one! Da Puddles Pro 5000

Jans Funny Farm said...

We hope you and your mom are okay, Puddles.

Raelyn said...

Puddles....
I've been a stranger in these parts of Blogville--again!!--it feels so good to be back!! ;-D
Where the hell are you?! Still missing my Friend's humorous Blog posts.... ;op
Love you later, Raelyn and Rose


Amber DaWeenie said...

Just POPPIN' in to say HOWDY. How's you doin???? Miss Ya Lots!!

WOOF

Bobbi and Gracie said...

Puddles! I sure hope your mum is doing okay. You have been gone away too long, without a word. And what about you? Are you okay? Well, at least you left us the funniest of posts to keep us with our medicine of (laughter) for a time...

Raelyn said...

Puddles....
It has been over three months since you last posted on this Blog!! I AM MISSING MY FRIEND!! I NEED YOUR WITTY SENSE OF HUMOR!! WHERE ARE YOU?! WHERE?! ;op
Love you later, Raelyn

Piappies World said...

Just want to say hello and hope that all is well with you and your family, Puddles!

Love,
Piappies Fudgie, Princess, Frappie, Mocha, Sugar, Wai-Max, Wai-Pai & Forgie