Friday, October 8, 2010

Ya Ain't in Kansas Anymores

Dats right...you is in my neck of da woods now!
No more Kansas!
To gets da full effect make sure you has your volume on...it's good!
*
Well I swaney, I found da Cheeto's furs dat Cracker Dog.
Da beer is mine though!
Course, I will shares...
but ummmm, I thinks I drank it all.
Ya'll mights want to watch out furs them neighbors over yonder. They might tries to steal my couch, all they has is office chairs on their porch.
Now ya'll wondering what alls I be talking bouts huh?
Well there has been a deep interest in my southernese from a fan of mine dat shall remain anonymous...cuz I surely wouldn't want to embarass him...though I would prolly take great pleasure in it.

So just as moonshine,
Squirrel Stew,
couches on da front porch and
My hero,
Mr. Jeff Foxworthy

it's all....
a redneck southern thing
and ya prolly wouldn't understand.

 Today I thought I would shares withs ya'll da ways we talk down heres in da South of USA!
We has a very different way withs our words, and dialect ya knows.
So here is a very educational list of words dat we's likes to use round our parts.
But ummmmmm...you may NOT wants to use these words in public cuz you might...well, I just wouldn't if I was ya'll. 
So without further ado,
I gives you da Redneck Dictionary (or part of it)

1) HEIDI  - Greeting

2) HIRE YEW -  How are you.
"Heidi, hire yew?"

3) BARD -  Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". 
"My brother bard my pickup truck."

4) JAWJUH -  Georgia.
"My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner."

5) MUNTS - Months. 
"My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

6) THANK - Think.
 "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

7) BARE - Beer
"Ah thank ah'll have a nutter bare."

8) IGNERT - Ignorant
"Them Bammer boys shore are ignert!"

9) RANCH - Wrench.
"Ah thank ah left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

10) ALL - Oil
 "Ah shore hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

11) FAR - Fire
 "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far."

12) TAR - Tire
 "Gee, ah hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

13) TIRE - Tower
"Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, ah shore do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

14) RETARD - Retired
"My grampaw retard at age 65."

15) FAT - Fight
"You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."

16) RATS - Rights
"We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

17) CHEER - Right here.
 "Jest set that bare rat cheer."

18) FARN - Foreign.
"I cuddin't unnerstan a wurd he sed... mus be from some farn country."

19) DID - Dead.
 "He's did, Jim."

20) ARE - Air
 "He cain't breath ... give 'im some are!"

21) BOB WAR - Barb wire.
"Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."

22) JEW HERE - Did you here.
 "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?

23) HAZE - He's.
"Is Bubba smart? Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

24) SEED -  Past tense of "to see". 
 "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."

25) VIEW - Have you
 "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City ... view?"

26) GUBMINT - Government
"Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

27) FIXIN' - Getting ready to...
"Ah's just fixin' to do that now."

Peace Out,
Puddles

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent,
they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
Jeff Foxworthy




57 comments:

The Teacher's Pets said...

Lawd have mercy! I haven't heard them words fur a long time since I don't live in Florida no more! Your dictionary is mighty fine, Miss Puddles, and I thank you needs to be rewarded with nother beer!

Mack said...

Trust us - we understand all too well!

Gloria said...

YEP! Herd most of them there words here in Florida! LOLing!

kissa-bull said...

well here in texas ouw favorite is "howdy, ya'll" so wee's bee understandin'

pibble sugars
the pittie pack

Minna Krebs said...

Lawd only knows what I have missed around here....butti have a sneaky suspicion I need to catch up over at Tank's to get da full effect!!!

By the way, my momma was prolly 87 years old when her was reading bout 'barbed wire' fences and finally realized they be da same thing as a bob-wire or bobbed-wire fence her grew up with! Who knew?!?

MinnaK

Hound Girl said...

I was hoping you were going to put in "fixin" that is one of our favorites down south here in Texas!
Hey there aint nothing wrong with wearing wife beaters and having 4 cars on blocks outside your trailer?!

Minna Krebs said...

Yep..I am baaaaack! I just has to keeps an eyeball on ya, you know! Thank you agains to you and your blonde mom fur all da loving!

PeeS.....I knows you prefer da beers...butt when you not on da hard stuffs, do you put Peanuts in your Coke??

Madi and Mom said...

PUDDLES DUDDLES RAINWATER!!!
I reckon y'all done wrote a reel purty piece about us'uns from South of USA!!!
your'n t truly, Madi

Oh Puddles I apologize for Madi. I have to keep my eyes and ears on her at all times.I just went out on the porch to spit out my snuff only to return to find the above!!! Mom

MOM here: I often get this line when folks find out am from the South...."oh you don't sound southern'. I say well thank you ma'am and yes we do have indoor plumbing.
Madi and Mom

Home of Team Beaglebratz said...

Howdy Miss Puddles - That iz rat nice of u fer educatin'us all. Even tho we iz all here in Kansas still, we like that Mr. Jeff Foxworthy guy.

Leonardo said...

Morning Ms. P.
Our daddy is headin South next week to teach, so Mom is going to print this for him to take as a guide.

He will be SO appreciative fir the travel version of the southern dictionary.

Have a good one and snack on some Cheetos for me and Grady.
(Do you call then Cheetos or Cheeter's?)

Leonardo :-}

All The Dogs said...

Wees has indoor plumbing but nothin like dem outhouses on a cool mornin...

Rusty

The Heartbeats said...

LOVE THIS!!! Perfect!

Three Dogs Long said...

LOL! Your friends here in the great frozen North got a great chuckle from your sayin's!

We gots a few of our own, but maybe we could burrow (borrow) a few of yours!

((hugs)) your friends
Oskar, Schatzi & Xena

thedreadpiratejack said...

WOW that is cool translaterin Miss Puddles. I shall be doin me best to learn yor lingo
Big Lovs
Richie
x x x

♥I am Holly♥ said...

Good ones Puddles!! Last time mom was in Georgia, a man in the store said "do you want that there to go in a polk." Sure, why not! Lots of love, Holly and mom

Kira The BeaWootiful and Mom said...

Wellya... I tink here in flurda that de tahk like dat too,
no wait, maybe that was Teeeexas... yeah, I member...Yall come back now yhear?

Frankie Furter said...

This was just waaaay tooooo funny. I just have to say dat the peoples round here talk a lot like that tooo.

Maggie Mae said...

Puddles,
Mom wants to know where you was when she lived in North Carolina, she coulda used dis dictionarys. :)

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

Madi and Mom said...

PS Puddles...yes a kitteh tongue is just like sandpaper. It has itty bitty little suction cup like things on it that aid in grooming....mom just loves my tongue...
Hugs Madi

Tank said...

Hee Haw! It's another episode of the Puddles Show!!
That's a great couch you got there P. Do they come already stocked with beer in SC??

Your dictionary will be most useful in translating your posts. Have you checked into a redneck translator widget for your blog?? That would be even more convenient for those of us who speak and read ENGLISH.

BOL

Jeff Foxworthy's got nothin' on you duddles.

Mr. Pip said...

OMD!!! Must catch my breath, laughing so hard - bawhaaaaa!! Rolling on the floor laughing ... ouch, I have fallen and I can't get up. Somebody bring me a bare ..

Your pal, Pip

Those Elgin Pugs said...

O my dawg!!

Mommy is lefting so hawd rights neers!!

'da Josie be crackerin' ups!!

Josie on haw wer tuh meat yews...

Saw mew sum cheeto's!!!

hugs!!
'da Josie

Brian said...

Dat was an xlent summre Puddles, I'm fixin to take a nap now!

Agnes B Bullock said...

Blue Collar Comedy- our pawrents favorite! They luvs Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and ROn White>

You are soooo lucky to be a southern lady of class and cahrm! Just comes naturally!

Sammy and Andy said...

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're speaking our language now, sweet Puddles!!!!!!! Long live all us rednecks!!!!!!!!! And long live Jeff Foxworthy!!!!!!!!

xxxxxxxxx

Corbin said...

Um, Puddles. Where have you been? I have a lead on your eyeliner theft. Pip and da Josie might want to investigate. Just sayin'...
-Corbin

road-dog-tales said...

Mom 'bout spit her coffee all over the keyboard. She's from Lanner, Jawjuh and she still laughs about this. She has a funny story about working at an import company that sold mopeds and was trying to tell someone in Ohio about oil and he asked her to repeat what she said so many times that the whole office started laughing when she kept saying Oil/all and finally had to spell it.
The Road Dogs (see y'all)

Beans4Biscuits said...

That waz the bestest tranz-lay-shawn we ever seens!!!

Mommy sayz there be more though....

like at = like that
Puddles drank 2 beerz just like at

Ya'll- 2 or more people you are speaking to
Ya'll stay on with us

Waller or Wallerin= moving around too much
Don't waller in the mud

Yuns=2 or more people you are talking to, but used less than ya'll
Yuns quit wallerin on the couch

Law=police
He called the law on me

Yonder
A indeterminate distance away
Puddle lives right down yonder

roont=spoiled
That thar milk is roont

mess=a certain amount of a specific food
I got me a mess of greens. (In the case of okra we have found a mess is 4 handfuls plus three individual okara).

Signed
Yer born in the south Who, Sugar

Ruby and Penny said...

Oh Puddles. You're a hoot.
Love Ruby & Penny
Pees - if you ever need a place to get away (detox) come visit.

Bruschi said...

OMD Puddles that is Redneck OVERLOAD! BOL! Some of the firehouse boys my daddy works with say those things.....they tease us about our Boston accent! Our accent is one thing, but these southerners have their own language! BOL!

K-9 Katastrophe said...

Heehee! I do have white on my chest! Though not as much as you.

Licks,
Ruthie

Remington said...

Oh my! You certainly don't talk Minnesotan....I didn't see one "ya betcha" in there.... Guess I am not a redneck....sorry Miss Puddles....

Barbara said...

Thanks for the redneck language lesson! I'm going for a bear now.

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Maybe woo should khome here and learn how to speak York County -

Thank dog and praise cheeses Mom isn't from here -

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Junior and Orion said...

We sure are glad you explained those to us! Now go have another bare for yer troubles!

Asta said...

Oh Puddles
Even though my pootew is bwoken I just had to steel Daddi's and come visit and it's a good thing I did, cause it was like leawning a fewn language, heheh
I loooove youw dictionawy.
I wish you'd come to visit in Noo Yawk and leawn some of ouw weiwd wowds and explain them to the wowld
smoochie kisses
ASTA

Maggie and Mitch said...

Mom lived in Louisiana for her high school years so she is very familiar with that Southern lingo! She remembers the first time she heard all and had no clue that it meant oil!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

ABBY said...

Puddles
We udderstood efurry werd yoo said...we is southern kitties!

purrin
xoxoxo
Abby

A MilShelb Mom said...

hahaha! Our Mom just laughed so hard she's got tears on her face! We have to admit that we hear people talk like that all the time, but the only word our Mom uses from that list is "fixin'" and our Dad doesn't talk like that at all cause his family is from Maine.
~Milly and Shelby

ps- We LOVE the song! lol

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Puddles, we were sure hoping you would like to come visit us in Kansas one day, but we sure have a lot of studying to do - not sure we would be able to communicate very well. We are off to study hard right now:)

Y'all have a good weekend now.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Mollie said...

We must hereby declare that we no longer admit to knowing Puddles. We have been worshiped by Egyptians and sat at the feet of Pharaohs. We are far too dignified for such behavior and language. We can barely stand living here with our mom - you see, she is from West Virginia. Need we say anything more?! Oops, here she comes now...must go beg for treats. She's a sucker - it works every time!

meow

Sequoia & Petunia said...

Hee heee heeee Puddles we luvs it!

Peggy Frezon said...

Wow thanks for that education! That was funny!

Lorenza said...

Oh-oh!
I have problems understanding "normal" english and now... I guess I am lost!
Beer and cheetos is what I need now!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Lola said...

That was most educational, Puddles. Being up here on Lawn Guyland we don't know nuthin' about no accents or how youse guys in the Sout' talk. We got cultcha heah.

Hee, hee. Sounds like you were madder'n a hornet in a mayonaise jar at somedoggy. (Alpha Mom lived in NC for a while and a friend of hers used say that about his wife - when she was mad, that is.) We did enjoy the post. We love learning about exotic places and stuff like that.

lotsa licks, Lola

Roo said...

BOL! LMTO! I'm rollin on the floor in a puddle from all the leakin my eyes are doin!

Thinkin Is it a bad thing that I understood all the words before I read the definitions?

Waggin my soggy tail at ya,
Roo

Tucker said...

Hey Puddles, I cashed in all my curtesy sniffs in the car today on the way home from my adventure. BOL! I luvs that joke.....

woof - Tucker

Mango said...

Miss Puddles! That was most instructive. I am going to have my momma try it out. Stay tuned.

Slobbers,
Mango

chicamom85 said...

Wow thanks for the foreign language lesson. I will study up and get back to you.

licks and sniffs, Sasha

Life with 5 dogs said...

Mom use to live in Florida but only for a short time, and it bring back memories for her.

Alien said...

Thank you for rescuing me in you beer hamper, Minx. I should be mad at you for using the boosters from my spaceship but what can I say? I love redneck girls.

Yours

Doxie Rod said...

great translations, puddles! looks like you are making some great headway on those beers, all gone! re-stock and we can all join you :)

Bella the Westie said...

what a funny post!
We love the photo of you on the sofa, very cute :)

Love, Bella & Ollie.

the booker man said...

heehee, miss puddles, me and asa and mama love your list! you forgot these!

(1) buggy = grocery cart
"put them cheetos 'n bares in the buggy!"

(2) mash the button = push the button
"mash the button for the 4th floor, wouldja?"

(3) cut the lights off = turn out the lights
"cut the lights off before they see us in here stealin' their bares!"

*woof*
the booker man

Anny said...

I learn a new thing each time i comes here.. *BOL* And this is pretty cool :) Pass them cheetos and beers Puds. I cud use a drink now :D

Zona said...

Sounds like yaw could fit right in 'ere!

Wags,
Zona

PeeS: Save one of those beers for me??

mayziegal said...

Heehee! Thank you for giving me all those translations. My mom understood every one of 'em - being from Oak-luh-home-ah and such. But since I'm a Collie-rado girl, I needed a little help. Oh...mom says that that should be "hep."

Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie

PeeS. Mom says one of her all-time Southern favorites is "warsh." As in, it's time to warsh the clothes in the warshing machine.