Ya Ain't in Kansas Anymores

Dats right...you is in my neck of da woods now!

No more Kansas!

To gets da full effect make sure you has your volume on...it's good!

*

Well I swaney, I found da Cheeto's furs dat Cracker Dog.

Da beer is mine though!

Course, I will shares...

but ummmm, I thinks I drank it all.

Ya'll mights want to watch out furs them neighbors over yonder. They might tries to steal my couch, all they has is office chairs on their porch.

Now ya'll wondering what alls I be talking bouts huh?

Well there has been a deep interest in my southernese from a fan of mine dat shall remain anonymous...cuz I surely wouldn't want to embarass him...though I would prolly take great pleasure in it.

So just as moonshine,

Squirrel Stew,

couches on da front porch and

My hero,

Mr. Jeff Foxworthy

it's all....

a redneck southern thing

and ya prolly wouldn't understand.

 Today I thought I would shares withs ya'll da ways we talk down heres in da South of USA!

We has a very different way withs our words, and dialect ya knows.

So here is a very educational list of words dat we's likes to use round our parts.

But ummmmmm...you may NOT wants to use these words in public cuz you might...well, I just wouldn't if I was ya'll. 

So without further ado,

I gives you da Redneck Dictionary (or part of it)

1) HEIDI  - Greeting

2) HIRE YEW -  How are you.

"Heidi, hire yew?"

3) BARD -  Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". 

"My brother bard my pickup truck."

4) JAWJUH -  Georgia.

"My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner."

5) MUNTS - Months. 

"My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

6) THANK - Think.

 "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

7) BARE - Beer

"Ah thank ah'll have a nutter bare."

8) IGNERT - Ignorant

"Them Bammer boys shore are ignert!"

9) RANCH - Wrench.

"Ah thank ah left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

10) ALL - Oil

 "Ah shore hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

11) FAR - Fire

 "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far."

12) TAR - Tire

 "Gee, ah hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

13) TIRE - Tower

"Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, ah shore do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

14) RETARD - Retired

"My grampaw retard at age 65."

15) FAT - Fight

"You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."

16) RATS - Rights

"We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

17) CHEER - Right here.

 "Jest set that bare rat cheer."

18) FARN - Foreign.

"I cuddin't unnerstan a wurd he sed... mus be from some farn country."

19) DID - Dead.

 "He's did, Jim."

20) ARE - Air

 "He cain't breath ... give 'im some are!"

21) BOB WAR - Barb wire.

"Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."

22) JEW HERE - Did you here.

 "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?

23) HAZE - He's.

"Is Bubba smart? Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

24) SEED -  Past tense of "to see". 

 "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."

25) VIEW - Have you

 "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City ... view?"

26) GUBMINT - Government

"Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

27) FIXIN' - Getting ready to...

"Ah's just fixin' to do that now."

Peace Out,

Puddles

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent,

they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

Jeff Foxworthy