Wednesday, February 9, 2011

RIP Barbie

Did ya'll miss me yesterday?
Did ya'll eeeeeven knows I was gone?
Well, I was.

 You sees, Barbie was murdered had an incident yesterday.
It was rather unfortunate.
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CAUTION
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VIEW AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION
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WILL NOT BE LIABLE FUR NITEMARES
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LAST WARNING
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I Hers was decapitated, poor thing.



Me and Ms. Thang has had run ins befores you knows...da incident.
But, BEFORES hers decapitation yesterday
there was a previous restraining order against me.
It said dat I was suppose to stay 100 feet away from her and da other 38 blondies.
But somebuddy left da junk Miscellaneous Room door open and da rest is history and....



....well, so is Barbie.




put hers in da trash can buried her to show my respects.
Farewell Barbie...it has been nice knowin' ya.

I'm thinking I may need a lawyer...can I bribe a judge?
Thinkin' of goin' withs da insanity defense.

Peace Out,
Puddles

Oh crud, there is no foto of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

60 comments:

Mango said...

Never much liked that skinny so and so anyway. Just look at that skirt. What a tart.

Slobbers,
Mango

Pepsi the Lazy Bum said...

Meh, not a fan of Barbie. I don't think it's a loss, in fact I think you did great in ridding the world of Miss Plastic.

Woofs,
Pepsi

houndstooth said...

Bwaaaa ha ha! When the music started, Mom and I both cracked up! I am sure that Barbie did something to provoke the whole incident. Barring that possibility, we could claim that you really needed a blonde wig for a photo shoot and that if you'd had one, your lovely photo would have been prominently displayed here as it should be!

Bunny

Sugar the Golden Retriever said...

Woof! Woof! Hope you are safe n did not swallow the HEAD. LOVE the DING DONG music. Lots of Golden Laugh. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

Mr. Pip said...

Well, this puts me in an interesting predicament - being that I am the Chief of Detectives ...I think this may be a crime of passion. No, no she tripped and fell, yeah, that's it, she drank too many tequila shots and tripped and fell, case closed.

Your pal, Pip

Amber DaWeenie said...

UhOh....da next foto we sees of you...well, you will be wearing da Barbie head (like in da movie...Da Fly)

Maybee if Frankie still be wearin his judge's mop, you can bribes him wit Kool Aids.

Madi and Mom said...

I'M ROFWTIMES (rolling on the floor with tears in my eyes). OH my gosh those pictures brought back many similar scenes from 30+ years ago.

Toto was a 'leg man'!!! He would only chew on the legs and feet. Once my daughter caught him in mid gnaw...she grabbed the Barbie (this one had hair about 6" long) started chasing Toto around the house trying to beat him with the Barbie hair. I heard them coming so I opened the back door for Toto the chase continued. Guess who wore out first....not the vertically challenged mighty Doxie.
Thank you for the laughs,
Hugs C

jen said...

Holy crap Puddles! You've gone and got yourself in some trouble with the law now haven't you!
Go with the insanity plea. that one works all the time.
We all know how that Barbie is, she was asking for it!!

Levi Mac said...

OMD! Mom just passed out. She needs an ambulance. She can't believe what happened to Barbie- one of her bestest friends in da world. She said to tell you that she has all hers from when she was little and you and I aren't allowed anywhere near them- hee hee :)

Jess and Glacier said...

My tummy hurts from laughing! You won't have to bribe the judge with that gorgeous face.

Sam and Pippen said...

She looks like she'd be lots of fun! Maybe we should invite her over to our place for a game of bitey-face?

Sam and Pippen

Mollys Momma said...

I'm not a Barbie lover I was always a fan of the more resoectable Sindy myself so I don't blame you at all in fact you have probably done the world a service by ridding it of another bimbo looking dolly

Love
Momma Tea
xxx xxx

Anny said...

Some plastics are meant to be gone.. hehhehee.. me no like them Barbies too... oh.. if you spell it as Babi.. it means Pig :p

any hows... you thinks you can sneak into them junk room and grab a couple more barbies? we could have some bar-bie-Q :D

yes yes.. i am mean.

woofs n licks,
Dommy

Erika and Blair,xoxo said...

Oooooo Puddles you are gonna be in big trouble when your girl finds out about this!

Gloria said...

I never knew a Barbie, no loss to me, she was such a fake I felt! One less Ho on the streets, oh bad me!!! Besides, I would much rathur chew on soft things! Love, Billy

Mack said...

I think she is gonna need some serious reconstructive surgery!!

Minna Krebs said...

Oh my dogness!!! We are ALL on da floor, bellies up, laughing! Even my momma!

And just when we thought we were getting our breaths back, we started reading da comments!!! heeeeheeeeeeeeeee ... especially Diva Madi's story!!

Tank said...

The world is a better place today. Well done Puddles!

Frankie Furter said...

Go with the Insanity thingy. Those EVIL Barbie's would make ANYdawg insane!!! HO HO HO (WINK)

Now... I'm not THAT kinda Judge.... you need to send a nice thingy or two Judge Remington's Way!! It will be easy fur the mail folks to find his home... now that he has that HOOOOGE entrance announcing his location.
PeeS... tell your girrrrrl that Barbie... was assulted by 5Squirrels led by a Groundhog. I know she will take your word as Pure Truth.

Brian said...

Oh my goodness, does Ken know?

Max the Quilt Cat said...

Maybe witness protection program would be your best bet for a while. You are welcome to hide out over here.

pawhugs, Max

Sammy and Andy said...

MOL........we are not Barbie fans, so we applaud this post...and hope the culprit is never apprehended!!!!! We know you were innocent in all this, Puddles....anyone seeing you knows how innocent you are.....:)

Love to you, Puddles, to Albert, to Whitney, to Your Girl, and to your mom and dad.

Minna Krebs said...

Lucy Donkey here......

THANKS for today's inspiration (heeeheeeeee)

road-dog-tales said...

Well, in our opinion a chew toy is a chew toy is a chew toy. Makes no nevermind to us. But Mom was a little saddened by this Barbie's fate. She kinda liked Barbie as a youngster, 'course that was eleventyninety years ago. Anyhoo, we see Lucy the Donkey has decided to make lemons out of lemonade with this incident or is lemonade out of lemons, we can never get those cleeshays right.

The Road Dogs

Asta said...

Puddles
I missed you tewwibully
I'm suwe she desewved what she got
You can use me as a chawactew witness anytime!!!
smoochie kisses
ASTA

Corbin said...

Hm... I think you should go with the self defense plea...
-Corbin

Peggy Frezon said...

hahahaha that song cracked me up, Puddles! Did you perhaps crash one of her crazy beach house parties? Oh how the plot thickens.

mayziegal said...

Okay, gimme just a minute to collects myself from the shock. The SHOCK that there wasn't a picture of YOU in this post!

Um, okay, what was the rest of the postie about? Oh, yeah. I'm pretty sure that you could make a case for justifiable homicide (I been watching Law & Order). I've seen those Barbies before and you can tell they're up to no good. Why, I bet she was even trying to form a Barbie army to take over your house! (I mean, really? 38 of them? That's practically a battallion!) So you were just doing what you had to do to keep your family safe.

If that doesn't work, I'll smuggle in a file to bust you outta jail.

Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie

Elyse and Riley said...

You wanna hear a little creepy secret? I (Elyse) used to behead the Barbies too. I know, what kind of messed up child was I??

We suggest going with the Not Guilty By Reason of Insanity defense (NGRI). Now, when you get excused by NGRI, you still (in most cases) have to spend some time in the mentals hospital. We do hear it's much better than jail though. Just think of all the cracker dogs you could play with! And I'm pretty sure you're allowed to do all the barking you want to in the mentals hospital.

You definitely need a lawyer though.

Well, it's been nice knowing ya!

Elyse and Riley

Benny and Lily said...

Mom is practically rolling on the floor laughing at Barbie's murder. Bet her feets are chewable
Benny & Lily

Madi and Mom said...

Puddles look at all the commotion you have cause...
This is the comment Mom (I had nothing to do with it) left on Lucy's blog....

"Now we all know how sexy Puddles 'could be' if she had blond hair and legs that reach all the way to Texas. Dream on Puddles."

Sequoia & Petunia said...

Puddles we thinks they got no evidence on yous. You will be walkings free from this in no times.

Hugs
Sequoia n Tuni

Barbara said...

Oh mans, my first thought was "I'm not dead!!" cuz I thought you was making a crack about me being sick.

Barbies are overrated and are smarter without their heads. You did good.

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Oh dear, Puddles, what did you do? We hope there weren't too many tears there. We aren't allowed near the Barbies here either. Mom thinks Ciara might have a big jealousy fits - only one princess allowed here.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Tucker said...

Well if I know Barbies, then if Barbie 1 is dead Barbie 2 wants her wardrobe. did you "bury" her naked?

woof _ Tucker

Remington said...

You did what to Barbie? Miss Puddles this could be bad.... Looks like I will have to go and get my judge attire out for this one.... Was there beer and Cheetos involved?

scotsmad said...

We think you improved her looks. We take it your girl isn't a fan of Wednesday Addams and wants the head.

Oh well, the Misc Room door should be shut so accidents don't happen. (You couldn't even pin it on Albert or Whitney?)

XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

Junior and Orion said...

Well, we bet you will be okay. but if you need references to prove you are actually a good woofie, we will vouch for you!

Oskar said...

Those surely were some greusome crime scene photos. I'm sure she had it coming!

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Maggie and Mitch said...

OMG, poor headless Barbie! What must Ken think?!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

George the Lad said...

I think you better watch out that ken don't come knocking at your door lol!!! When I first saw her the film small soldiers came to mine!! the bit where they put different heads on the Barbie dolls!!!
See Yea George xxx

ABBY said...

Puddles
Didja see dat Ken is takin out billboards to try and git Barbie back?
Uh ohsss I donnos what yoo is gonna tell him now.


purrin
xoxox

Rudy - The dog with a blog said...

I'm so furry sorry to hear what happened to Miss. Barbie, but I knows you had to have lots of fun doing that terrible thing...

Rudy

Texas The Doxie said...

hooo hoo hoo ho ho hee hee hee heee wows. I nevers have done ANYTHING like THAT! BOY!! hahaha.

Madi and Mom said...

MOL Puddles we came back to hear the music everyone was talking about. We could not hear it from our other computer...way to go girlfriend. Wizard of Oz rocks!!!
Hugs Madi

Zona said...

The music.... BOL!!!! Oh Puddles, I think it was justifiable. It had to have been self defense. 38 of them versus the one and only Puddles? You were outnumbered!

Wags,
Zona

Maggie Mae said...

Puddles,

Dis is most distubin' indeed! If you needs to hide out anywheres, head up north to my house. Mom just went to da store so dere is plenty of beer and cheetos in da house!

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

PeeS No picture of you today...what's up wif dat? ;)

♥ Sallie said...

LOL! Ut oh. You did it now, Puddles! Luckily Alien has been involved in prison breaks before. If they lock you up the boys will get you out! :)

Hugs,

Wyatt said...

Yah, she had it coming. She's been tormenting us all for years..haha!

Wyatt's Mom

KB said...

When I saw that your post started with "RIP", I figured that you were in jail yesterday waiting to make bail. I know an excellent attorney...

Actually, I never liked barbies when I was a little girl. If I'd been less restrained, I would've done the same thing to all of them.

We need a foto of YOU before you go to prison!

Sam and Pippen said...

Puddles...

Our mom has a request for you. She says please don't put catchy musics on anymores... She's an Executive Assistant that works with the big wigs and unbeknownst to hers, she was humming this song at work today! People was looking at her funny all days today!

Sam and Pippen

Jbenz said...

Puddles, I salute you!You've saved the world from a sinister barbie :)
-JBenz

Lorenza said...

Oh-oh!
Yes. You need a lawyer... soon!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Roo said...

BOL! The witch is dead the witch is dead :D That has a nice ring to it :D If you need a hideout Puddles, my dog house is your dog house ;) I'll ask Mom to stock up on cheetos and beer!

Bye bye Barbie Hee Hee Hee ;D

Waggin at ya,
Roo

The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

Love the music! Yep, she had to go! Job well done Puddles!!!

If you need witnesses, we will swear that your were with uSSSSS at the time of the decapitation!

Drinking beer of course!

I Am HoneyBuzz said...

You needs to call Johnny Cockrane... FAST! If he could get O.J. off, he can get you off.

Just remembers: If da glove don't fit, you must acquit!!

hehe - HoneyBuzz

Sarge said...

Hey Puddles!
Wow, great job teaching Barbie a lesson! Any item left within your reach is fair game! Just remember not to swallow that stuff...that might spell VET. Chew and spit!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

Bobbi said...

LOL!!! Oh Puddles. I did a very similar post to this when Gracie maimed School Teacher Barbie last year. My guess is you're in big trouble mister. I'm a little concerned that your picture isn't up in this post. You're not in the slammer are you? Keep in touch. We worry about you when you do these things...

Elyse and Riley said...

Puddles--we are missing you! We can't wait to see what you've gotten into now...!

Elyse and Riley

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

I think you're safe; no jury in the world is going to convict you for decapitating that not-grounded-by-gravity poster child of plastic surgery and liposuction. Just saying...

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus