Friday, March 30, 2012

Just Wonderin'...

I has a question...
 I was wonderin' if any of ya'll...

scratch yourself and then...

smell your foot.
(and have leaves on your rug)

I mean not dat I would evers do such a hideous thing likes dat...but I was just wonderin'.
 OMD my foot stinks!
(leaves courtesy of Blob 2)

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

WTF Wednesday: #1

Welcome to my very furst edition of WTF Wednesday!
I has borrowed da idea from Mango withs pawmission cuz I thoughts it was a luverly idea.
So thank you Mango furs lettin' me join in withs you.

I shall begin nows.
Well, I goes to many many many blogs withs some of da most breathtakin' scenery evers,
scenery dat just happens to makes me wanna move from my 'hood.
Scenery dat I be jealous of cuz ya'll all looks so purty with your outside da house fotos.

So I thoughts I would show ya'll da scenery I gets to look at everyday...
day in, day out, day in, day out, day in, and day gets it doncha?
And, ya'll knows how much I likes to make fun of da Stoopid's too,
so I can kill 2 squirrels withs one rock today.
My scenery leaves me with them 3 little letters...WTF?

 Like WTF is alls I can manage to gets out of my mouf.
It do leaves me dumfounded.

Dat theres is da Stoopid's dog kennel...and half fallen down fence...withs a tire and tons of udder crap on a tarp.
(I don't know if they actually has a dog stayin' in da kennel though)
 Hmmmm...nows I knows why mum don't wanna takes any fotos in da backyard.

Nows, on a side note...
I wanna wish my BFF brindly girl Mayzie a most wonderful HAPPY GOTCHA DAY!
I loves you Mayzie and thank you fur bein' my furiend.

If you would likes to send Auntie Judi a card you can email Pip at mrpippip(at)gmail(dot)com to gets da addy.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Tracking With Mum

Hey ya'll!
Guess what?
Startin' last Thursday, da 22nd 
I hads da privilege of helping track...

See mum says to me...
"Puddles we are going to track today"
And I was all likes "Goody Goody Gum Drops!!!!!!"
Only cuz I couldn't rhyme anything withs Cheetos.

Anyways, I was sooooooo EXCITED I could has peed!

Dis here be what we was "trackin"....
keep goin'
a little bit mores
 ...da freakin' man in da brown truck.

 I should has known it bein' mum and all it was too good to be true and it was.

I thoughts I was really gonna start trainin' to be a SAR dog until da kerazy lady...and I put great emphasis on KERAZY...informed me we was gonna TRACK
her new fangdangled camera on da 'puter.
I was all likes YOU HAS GOTS TO BE KIDDIN" ME???????
Her wasn't though.

Yep, ya'll hers looked at wheres her camera was every 8.7 minutes likes it was really go across a whole state in dat time.
We watched it go through Kansas, Tennessee, Georgia and then....
 it stopped in SC...

...and I laughed
and then I laughed some mores...
cuz it was only 2 hours away from us on Friday night and da brown shippin' peoples be closed on da weekend...bwhahahahahahaha.
 (her do has da bestest luck...NOT)

So theres it sat just a mere 2 hours aways from us aaaaaaall weekend...all lonely and cold and stuffs.
Ain't dat just hilarious?
Okays, it may not be funny but it's just da fact dat it was so close but yet so far I sense a U2 song theres? OMD, wheres did dat come from? (what has hers done to me?)

Anyways, tracking withs mum sucked... nows I is goin' to eat me some cheetos and wait until da camera store calls 10 minutes befores they close to inform da kerazy lady hers can come get her new camera...then her will has to wait a whole nudder day to gets it in her hands.
Dats hows her luck runs ya knows.
(and dats what her gets fur trickin' me to think we was actually gonna go track)

If anybuddy could provide me withs some food and waters afters dis arrival...dat would be nice, ...somebuddy may forgets to feed me ya know.

Da moral of dis post...
Computer Trackin'=NO FUN!

Friday, March 23, 2012

Da REAL Pip and Puddles

Me and Pip (waves and laughs)...
was alerted by da Pittie-Pack dat there be imposters imposterin' us outs in cyber world.
It's identity theft at da worstest furiends, fans, and loyal readers.

It tooks us a long time to establish our good names and reputations just to haves some kerazy dogs to come along and destroy it from some wheres outof no wheres.

Ya'll takes a look at dis very incriminatin' foto of da thievers.
It be quite obvious these is transvestites cuz dat doxie is a BOY and I is a GIRL...
and dat Yorkie is a GIRL and Pip be a BOY...duh.
(Okays, I made dat part up...I mean I do be a girl and Pip really do be a boy though)

Dis be da REAL...
See, absolutely NO resemblance what so evers!
Nope, none  a t  a a a a a l l s!

(on da front porch at my house...on da couch)

Puddles: Hehehehehe....Pip you gots any cheetos?
Pip: No, do you? Hehehehehe
Puddles: No...bwhahahahaha..but I DO haves da munchies.
Pip: How comes why not you has no cheetos?
Puddles: Why you be talkin' likes me nows?
Pip: Because I think I have been hanging out with you far too long...why are we laughing? (snicker, snicker)
Puddles: Who cares why we laughin, we gots to get some cheetos...cheetos...cheeeeeetos!
Pip: Yes we do...hehehehehe.
Puddles: Okays then we checks in da couch cushions.
Pip: (glaring at Puddles)Does that mean I have to move?
Puddles:You wants cheetos or not?

da real Puddles and Pip

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Mum's "Brilliant" Idea

I just loves my mum.
Well I did...I mean I do but...nevers mind, ya'lls just gonna has to keep readin'.

See Mum sometimes gets what hers calls "Brilliant" ideas but I beg to differ.

Likes da time I furst moved in heres her said...
"Hey Puddles, I have a BRILLIANT idea, why don't you start sleeping in this nice comfy box with a wire door?"
It was a freakin' crate.

Or da time her said... 
"Hey Puddles, I have BRILLIANT idea, why don't we go for a ride!
Uh, her tooks me to has my girly bits taken away.

OH gosh and then their was da time her said we was gonna run an errand...
 "Hey Puddles, I have a BRILLIANT idea, let's go run some errands."
I should has known betters...I went to da vet and had my teefers cleaned.

(no foto...sorry)

Or...or da time her said...
" Hey Puddles, I have a BRILLIANT idea, let's go outside and get some excercise."
 Yep, da time da birdie dookied on me.

Then there was time her said...
"Hey Puddles, I have a BRILLIANT idea, let's go buy some new treats."
They was LOW FAT, taste free treats...I kid you not.

(I wasn't bouts to takes a foto of no LOW FAT treats...blech!)

So when mum says her has a so-called BRILLIANT idea, I gets skeered and my hairs gets all in a twist.
So yesterday her said to me...
"Puddles, I have a BRILLIANT idea."
And I said..."No you don't."

 Then I put my paws in my ears and I was goin'...LALALALALALALA.

But then I was forced to lets her explain dis "BRILLIANT" idea cuz her was still blabbin' 10 minutes later.

See, we seened dis post withs Corbin's new couch up by da window,
and mum thoughts "Hey, let's move the couch like Corbin had his!"

SPLENDID idea I said to move it and I'll watch.

Her moved da couch...
Ooooooo dis be nice...I can say bad stuffs talks to da Stoopid's from heres.
"HEEEEEEY...bleepity bleep bleep!"
"Ya wanna piece of me?"
Ooops, I sorta turned all redneck.

I can even talks to neighborhood squirrels.
 "Hey Mr. Squirrel, ya wanna go to a bon fire?"

 "Mom, she's in my way"


Two hours later I was still perched on da couch.
 I likes dis...ALOT!

 Guess wheres I was 4 hours later?

Hehehehe...I still heres.
Yep, I was still spyin' checkin' on things cuz it do be very important to keeps da family safe ya knows.

So mum says we don't do nuttin but bark and bark and bark at everything since da couch be so close to da window nows.
 Like duh...we did dat befores it was moved it.

Now da kerazy lady insists on movin' da couch back wheres it was befores...sigh.
Da one time her gets a good idea hers don't follow through...geez!

NOTE: startin' next week I is gonna join Mango in WTF Wednesdays...hehehehe.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Corey da Cabbage

(Shawnee cover your eyeballs furs dis post)

 My Girl camed home from school da udder day withs a cabbage furs a project.
They has to grow 'em and sees how much they watered them and measure them and all dis stuffs.
Her named him Corey da Cabbage...and I has no idea why but hers did.

Wells, I has always considered myself a meat and taters kinda girl
You know likes squirrel meat, chipmunk meat etc.

dat fateful afternoon Corey da Cabbage was left all alone...
...with nobuddy watchin' him...
nobuddy around...


It was most delish but it could has used a tad bit of salt.

Then my mum camed outside and said "Puddles, what the BLEEP have you done?"
And I said "I not do NUTTIN'"...but unfortunately I still I hads dirt on my nose so I was like totally busted.

THEN da Girl came outside and hers was so disappointed in me and her was all sad and then it made me all sad and mum tried to makes it all betters and tolded da girl dat I not knows any betters cuz I was a dog (WTF?) and then da girl said...
"She's not a dog, she's Puddles"

Gosh, I LOVES My Girl!

Later I went to Lowe's and boughts her...with mum's MY allowance...more cabbages so nows her has BUNCHES of Corey Jrs.


UPDATE: on Corey Jr's

I is a terrible dog...and they gives me da farts too.
Yes fans, I eated da Corey Jr's too.
I thinks I has a problem...OMD, am I turnin' into a vegetation?

Friday, March 16, 2012

Update: Whitney

Da hairy, caterpillar be out of her surgicals and they said hers done just wonderfullies...duh.
I knew it all along.
Hers did loose her nastified toofer and mum is gonna add it to her necklace of all out lost toofers.
Yea, hers stoopid sentimentals likes dat.

But da vet man wants to keeps Sissy til late dis afternoon so they can continue to monitor hers closely.

THANK YA'LL so very much furs your good vibes and thoughts during her surgicals. I can't possibly tells ya'll what it means to my mum...yea, yea, me too. Apparently hoomans have issues puttin a furry member under da sleepy stuffs. And I don't knows why cuz it makes me feel goooooood.
Sorry back to Whitney....thank ya'll again!
I swears I has to has da bestest furiends evers in Blogville.


My Sissy Gonna Have Surgery

I has GOTS to be Blogville's WORST at comin' up with titles!
And  dis was NOT EVEN da post I hads worked so looooong and hard on.

To those of you dat be new to my bloggie or just don't remembers da story of my sissy Whitney AKA: Little Momma around my house...hers came to live heres when her was eight years old afters her retired from havin' tona and tons of babies. And believe me, hers came with tons of baggage, nasty teefers, and a mammary tumor.
You can read it heres if you is interested.

So yeppers you guessed it...dis here post be bouts Whitney.

But dis is ME, I hads to stick my foto in somewheres...duh.

My sissy Whitney be havin' an "emergency" dental dis mornin' cuz hers has a grodified abcessed toofer, which hers has been on anibionics fors, and since hers has a big heart like Pip (but his be biggers cuz sissy really ain't dat nice) it be very important to gets dis taken cares of pronto.
Don't worry, I explained da surgical procedure to Sissy Whitney
I telled hers they was gonna slap hers up on a cold, hard, metal table...

...and sticks a big honking needle in hers and makes her go to sleepy town.

But I not tells hers bouts da tools they use.
Ya'll wanna sees a foto of 'em?
Dis what they use in dentals ya know.
Yea, I didn't wanna overly freak hers out.
See, I good sissy.

And I really hates to ask but....
could you send some good vibes to either me furs havin' to put up withs my neaurotic mum during dis surgery or could you send some to my Sissy so dat hers will come through dis all peachy? Dat would be nice. Ooooor, you coulds send some to my kerazy mum cuz her does has her fruit of da looms in a bunch and in a twist and lop sided and howevers else they could possibly be.overs dis surgery cuz of Whitney's heart condition and hers has to has da Sleepy Town drugs.

(Nows I personally feels likes Whitney will be fine, da only problem hers gonna haves is being seperated from da kerazy lady.)

Sorry I ain't done yet...
I also wanna wish my brudder and sissy a HAPPY BIRFDAY (tommorow) they gonna be 10 years old.
(Sissy's birfday really be in August but we celebrate it with Albert's cuz "da man" told us they was from da same litter but they really wasn't...but they DO still has da same pawrents.)
Nows if ya'll be thinkin it odd mum did da surgery da day befores Whitney's ain't nuttin likes her done to Albert...her hads his boy parts taken away ON his birfday. I kid ya'll not.

Dis is Blob 1...Brudder Albert

Dis be Blob 2...Sissy Whitney

Wells, how on earth did dis upload again?
Hmmmmm, I wonders. Silly Blogger.
Just don't wants ya'll to furgets dat dis be my blog.

Puuuuuuulease fur da love of beer and cheetos and cheeseburgers carry on with your humorous comments cuz da Puddles mum could use 'em. I am totally fine withs dis surgical, I am not panicking...I am not panicking.

Okays, now I done!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Mini Puddles

Hey ya'll!

{Oooops, sorry bouts da title but you can ease your minds and knows I has not had no puppies...nope, mum mades quite sures I could not raise my own army to takes over da universe.}

Buuuuut, about a hundred years ago da post man brung a package and it hads my name on it.

 Yes, dat would be Puddles...withs 2 D's.

It also said it bes from a tax and accountin' firm and mum was all shakin' in her shoes thinkin' I has been evadin' my taxes. Silly lady, I don't has to pay taxes, dats what hers is fors.

Duh be from Minna Krebs and gang.

Anyways, I thoughts, nows what on earth could dis be?
It not my birfday, which happens to be July 28 in case ya'll be interested (wink, wink). not be Christmas eithers.
Yea okays, so I didn't has da faintest idea.

" Little Girl can you puuuuuulease hurry, I sooooo excited I bouts to pees all overs myself!"

 "Hehehehehe....awe, I loves you too Mini Puddles and you is purties likes me!"

I named hers Mini Puddles in cases ya'll was wonderin'.
And da bestest thing is dat I has always wanted my very own puppy since Frankie got his very own puppy.
Nows I has a puppy!
But my puppy has hearts on hers...and hers is a her, not a him.

 I gives you a hug, okays. 
We is gonna be furiends furevers.

I tooks da liberty of gettin' a close up of Mini Puddles.
Her likes to has her foto taken ya knows.
Don't hers has hypnotic, sultry eyes?

Here we is togedders.
 Has ya'll evers noticed them spots on my chest?
No, oh okays then.

Oh no, I ain't done showin' fotos yet.
Heres us again furs our glamour shot.

 Aaaaaaand again....
Sorry Mini Puddles but we doxies usually has part of our bodies cut off,
 you'll gets used to it.

(Note to mum: Buy a freaking wide angle lens)

I just loves my new furiend and I is gonna teach hers aaaaaall kind of new things
I gonna teach hers hows to be da best doxie/greyhound girl evers.
(insert evil laugh)

What was dat mum?
Oh you not want me to teach hers nuttin?
We'll talks bout ds later mum, I be typin' right nows.

I wonders if I could train Mini Puddles to be a SAR dog?
Ooooor, a hunter...maybe even a showdog?

Thank you so very much Minna, and gang, and momma.
Nows if ya'll don't knows Minna then you must go meets hers straight aways cuz you won't be disappointed. And you'll has to ignore my million comments at her place.

Also, I gots to say how freakin' PROUD of my Mayzie's mom furs bein' so courageous to follow her dream and takes on dis new venture of hers.
You can read bouts it heres.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Me and Brudder

Ain't dat da most clever post title EVERS?

Well, I just has to tells ya'll what da black hairy blob done to me.

See, we was playin' bitey face, tag, and run-around-mum-and-makes-her-go-splat da udder day (which just hapens to be da bestest game evers by da way).

Dat be me withs da teefers showing.
 I has purty teef doncha think?
I had 'em cleaned durin' da summer and nows they be aaaaaaall sparkly clean and white.
Oh Dat be da big, hairy blob.

Okays now sees.
 He pusheded me under da couch!!!!!!
 Did ya'll sees dat?

Well, I hugified it furs ya'll so you don't has to squint your eyeballs.
Nows look again....

Okays, I didn't exactly mean to makes it dat hugified.
(check out all da grain on dat theres foto)
But did ya sees what he done to me?????

" The kid needs to be put in her place occasionally."

Deep down inside of him he just be jealous cuz I has a blog and him don't...bwhahahaha!

PS: Did ya'll sees my new additions on my sidebar I made?
I especially likes da retro beer one.