Friday, April 30, 2010

My Special Place by Albert and Disturbing Neighhbor News

Greeting and salutations my fellow bloggers. I’m delighted that you all have gotten to know my sister Puddles. She is most certainly a handful and by the way, do not take her advice or tips because they will usually cause you harm or get you put on restrictions.

Today, I would like to take the opportunity to share with you all something that is very special to me. It is my special place. It may just be the corner of the couch but it is still all mine.

It is special because it makes it much easier to view approaching intruders or any other objects from the animal kingdom that are on the restricted list. And, all who dwells in our home know my special place is off limits. It is not for my sisters, my human kid, or my mom and dad to occupy at any time.

Never mind,  forget this whole post existed. I guess nothing belongs to me anymore since the demon dog  moved in.

But for what it's worth I love her and will protect her no matter how much trouble she causes.

And to begin your weekend off I will leave you with a vintage photo from Puddles puppy days.

Puddles will resume her regular posting on Monday with some more demonic tips I'm sure.


Disturbing Neighbor News: P Doggie here to bring you an infomurshul. See, I told ya’ll Albert was BOOOOORING. Anyway, I wanted to lets ya’ll know I think me and Frankie Flirter has da same neighbors. Not reallt, but anything is possible in my world. Last nite our neighbors Pitt got missing and as of this morning her has not returned. Mum went to talk to Mrs. Neighbor last nite, I guess to see if hers could help. Mum came back all pissed off upset cuz her found out Miss Pitt was identificationless, no microchip, nor a collar, and her still has all of her female parts. And here is the doozy fur da day…her has never had a rabies shot. Mum tried to tell Mrs. Neighbor her needed to call da Humane Society and Animal Control furst thing in da morning to see if they haves her doggie. Well Mrs. Neighbor told mum she couldn’ts call cuz (1) hers had t work and (2) she will be fined fur having an unregistered doggie. This thinking just blows my mind. Oh it gets better though. Mr. Neighbor said if Miss Pitt comes back prego he don’t want her back. Huh???? Also, Miss Pitt has never evers in her whole entire life been to da vet…so I guess her not on heartworm preventative either. So, if anybuddy sees a really sweet hyper brindle Pitt DON’T SEND HER HOME!

Now this is The End
Peace Out

Thursday, April 29, 2010

We Have Snow!!!!!!!

 Oh my goodness…Oh my goodness! Golly jeepers ya’ll will not believe in a gazillion million years what has happened. We haves SNOW! I know I don't usually blog on Thursday but  I just had to tells my furiends bout da snow. Mum likes snow.
Let me explain. Mum was gone to da gym, yes that’s her routine every morning. But really who cares bout her routine. Let me get back on track her…where was I? Oh yea…mum comes home and her walks out to da back porch to get us and …voila…it snowed while hers was gone. I wish you coulds have seen da expression on her face…her eyes was big as tennis balls…it was very much priceless if I do say so myself.

They was pretty white fluff snow eveywheres. Here let me shows ya’ll. Did I mention mum likes snow? Her likes snow.

Isn't it beautimous?

Who's ready to build a snow doxie?

Ooops, I wasn't suppose to upload this foto

Afters mum saw da newly fallen snow her starting spittin out some of those Neighbor words and sumptin bout da POUND but as always,  I tuned her out. I haves Selective Hearing you know.

The End
Peace Out,

Note from Mum: the pillow was on top of the grill and how she got it down is beyond me. But then again, this is Puddles we’re talking about. Also, she has a tendency to exaggerate, I never said anything about the pound to her.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Weekend Recap

I had planneded on posting bout my very much fantastical Sunday but mum so rudely did a post without me and NOT even ABOUT me. I hopes ya'll very much enjoyed it and her says thanks fur da most wonderful comments and praise...ok, now back to ME and my weekend.
What a weekend! It stormed all day Saturday and we couldn’t’s do nuttin. But Sunday proved to be very much beautimous. And da previous rain made fur some great, soft, supple soil. Ya’ll know what that means: DIGGING!

Hey, I think I sees some of my bloggie furiends down here. Is that you Twink?

Even Miss Whitney joined in on da fun...weird, I know. This was when mum got all choked up watching Whitney dig. I don't think her knew what she was doing but I'll teach her in my spare time.

Now Albert doesn't usually lets anybuddy see him digs but he has da dirt written all overs his nose.

By da way, Mum doesn't mind if we's dig. Her says it keeps us in shape and burns much calories, it keeps us occupied an outs of trubles (evil laugh again). Howevers, Mr. Dad forbides it. Ha! When he's at work...da doxies will play. Besides he shoulds really watch where he walks anyway.  I can'ts help it cuz he almost broke his ankle stepping in a hole.

The End

Peace Out,

Monday, April 26, 2010

A Post From Mum: Whitney

Finally, I have gained the controls of the computer from a certain doxie puppy. I just wanted to let everyone know that we are a home of three dachshunds though a certain puppy believes the blog is just about her. I did not think Puddles would take over the blog and leave the others out. So, I want to take this opportunity to let you all get to know a little more about Whitney. You may already know some things but just bear with me while I go through it again for our new readers.

As some of you may know Whitney is a retired breeding dog from a local breeder (who shall remain nameless). Unfortunately, due to my ignorance of breeding dogs, I was not aware of the issues she possessed or the challenges we would be faced with. But, I had to give her a home because of a couple of reasons. The first reason was because of her age. I didn’t think she would be high on someone’s list to bring home because she was already seven years old. And the other reason was because she is Albert’s sister. Even though they can’t stand each other, I felt like I owed it to both of them to bring a small portion of their family back together.

The first week home it was almost unbearable to stay in the same room with Whitney because her breath was so horrible. On Friday she went to the vet and underwent an extensive dental cleaning and ended up losing six teeth. Then the very next week we discovered a growth on her stomach. Come to find out it was a mammary tumor. That was due to the fact she was spayed too late. She went in for surgery to have it removed and it did come back benign. So she was already off to a rough start in her new home.

When Whitney came to us she didn't know her name, she didn't know how to go up and down stairs, she didn't know how to was heartbreaking to say the least. She has plenty of other issues. She is extremely skiddish at any type of noise. She freaks out when you turn on the kitchen faucet or flush the toilet. She even walks around for hours at a time. The only time she can relax is when she is right beside me. And Whitney is by no means a lapdog, she will let me pet her but that is as far as it goes. Though we do have a strong bond she doesn’t like people too much or even dogs.
Whitney may not be an acceptable pet in most households but we love her despite her issues and she is ours now and we will do what it takes to make her happy and healthy. Right now, she has severe seperation anxiety but we are doing what we can. It's been a journey to say the least , but the first time she crawled into my lap and licked my face I literally cried. It was great experience and showed her progress. And when I watch her run through the yard at breakneck speed I get goose bumps and think “this is how it is suppose to be”

Friday, April 23, 2010

Pain In My Throat

I am feeling muches better, thank you fur asking. What? Ya’ll didn’t know I was under da weather? (mental note #1: get new assistant pronto) Well let me just tells ya’ll what happened to me. Afters I took my Heartguard pill on Monday I was feeling all kinds of icky and wasn’t my normal Puddle Duddle self.


Fast forward now till in da morning, which was Tuesday. Mum gots me up and I was still feeling NOT perky so hers new sumptin was not right with da Puddles. Of course later I threw up all overs da place. And does ya’ll know what I threw up? My heartguard medicine, the WHOLE freaking thing…da big, solid chunk.

You see, mum is a little paranoid abouts our health. It’s either that or hre has some loose wiring. So mum talked to Mrs. Vet, she is Dr. Vet’s wife and mum’s friend she has all kinds of smarticals too. You’d think being friends with them we’d gets a discount-NOT. I lost my train of thought here. Where was I, oh now I remembers. Her advice? Takes me to see Dr. Vet cuz da medicine should have already turned to mushiness in my tummy after so long. Then da next thing I knows I was being whisked away to da torture vet clinic. Mum didn’t takes da camera (thank da lawd)on account of hows stressed I get in that place so I didn’t need no more stresses from da flashy monster. Besides, there was nuff wacko doggies in that place to cause way enough stress. I showed them who was boss though. No, I’m lieing. I shook, shivered, and cowarded under da chair.
Ok, I’m getting to da exam part, stay withs me. Fairy Techmutter comes in with…yep, you guessed it…da magic wand. I says to Fairy Techmutter,”you are not fooling the Puddles no more with that wand. I know it don’t have no magic powers”…but hers paid me no tension. Then Dr. Vet comes in and starts all this pinching, pulling, staring, squeezing, watching, then he starts all this stretching. I say,” what up doc, I am already stretched out nuff, I don’t needs aaaaany more helps from you.” Yep, he ignored me too. Ok, I’m actually getting to da point of my story. So Dr. Vet informs my clueless mum that I had not actually swallowed my medicine…it had stayed lodged in my throat all night long. Now if that is not a scientific phenomenon I don’t know what could be. He gaves mum instructions to elevate my food bowl and blah, blah, blah. Afters I heard food I tuned him out. Oh and fur da likes of me, do you knows what Dr. Vet did next? He gaves me a…I can’t even hardly say it…he gaves me a shot so my throat woulds feel betters.

(mum says hers bought a lemon in me cuz everything seems to happens to me.)
Da rest of da day I laid around. It was most dreadful cuz my throat was so painfully sore and I hads so muches to say to da neighbors when they came outside. And I had lots to say to da Rottweiler walking down MY sidewalk. It was most terrible not being ables to converse with da terrorist  nice doggies.

At din din time mum came up with what she thought was a fantastical idea. (Mental note #2: Remind mum not to think). Her decided to elevate our food bowls on blocks fur da time being. Grrrreat, now we’re hillbilly’s , all we need now is our beds elevated on cinder blocks.

Now if yall are stil reading my much winded post, I am feeling muches better now and lucky fur da neighbors I haves my voice back (insert evil laugh). OK now I’m done, over and out.

Brighteyed and Perky last.

The End

Peace Out,

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Wordless Wednesday-Unconditional Love

The pikture that left mum speechless....fur a change.

courtesy of Albert and Abigail

The End

Monday, April 19, 2010

Modeling Tips Part2

Now I not usually da one to wants my picture taken buts I do gets a little greenvious if I not included. Let’s be honest, a picture without me is just…well, it’s just boring. So if you mum is taking picture of your siblings ALWAYS include yourself. After I ever-so-sweetly included myself in da below pictures, da photoshot took on a whole new life of its own. Now mind you mum was saying some of those words I often hears from da neighbors. Then her mentions sumptin bout “knocking her focus out of whack”. Ha, I can’t helps it cuz her can’t see worth a @&$%. You see, mum was trying to get some picture of Albert and Whitney together to “prove” they don’ts look nuttin alike and........ I just coulnd’t stand it.

Here I come!

Showing my good side.

Ooooh...check out da bug down here.

Okey doke, my job here is done.

The End

Pees: Thank you to Miss Maybeads...I won her GABE giveaway and I am ober da moon about it. Her makes these super cool beads into da shape of animals.

Peace Out,

Sunday, April 18, 2010

GABE 2010

Oh goody goody gumdrops. We finally gets to announce our GABE winner. Buts before we do that I’d like to take this time to thank Twinkie and hers mom fur a most well done job and alls of their hard work. We haves enjoyed participating immensely and thankful fur all da new friends we have mets.

Uh oh, my random generator seems to be broken.
Well, it’s takin’ a nappie. I should’ve knowns better. It’s Albert’s 63rd nappie of da day.

Well movin’ along….
We’ll just haves my hooman girl pick da name. Ya’ll ready?

Are you sure?

Toby…and his raiser…coooooome oooon dooooown! Hey I woulds be perfect fur da Price Is Right! Ya’ll are nows da proud new owner of a beautimous caffeine mug, an 8x10 glossy photo of ME, some weird Albert fluff, and some sweet treats we picked up on our shopping excur-shun. Miss Raiser I’ll be shooting you an email.

Peace Out,

Friday, April 16, 2010

Girl Interrupted

I interupt what I was going to say to bring you this oh-so-important announcement!

 I now haves me a date for Date Nite.
Twix has been playing matchmaker and set me ups with Tank. He is a very good looking chap, though I think he looks more like a Hummer than a Tank and  he has da purtiest hair. I'll be most honest with ya'll furiends... I thinks he is very much beautimous. Please though, don't tells Tank I said that cuz I will haves to deny it. Look, isn't he just ALL that?

 I hope he likes tomgirls since I am so not da frou frou type. I mean really furiends...coulds ya'll sees me in bows? I think not. Now ya'll know me, I march to da beat of my own drum so I hopes I don't  scare HummerTank off with my "ways". No matter what though, I am a obstinate sweet girl. Oh goodness I'm getting butterflies in my tummy or was it that squirrel I ate?

And check this out...I don't even haves to sneak out of da house fur my date. I talked it over with mum and she relinquisheded and saids I coulds go since Tank seems to a gentleman. Ain't my mum just da best? You don't haves to answer that cuz she said ifs I go (gulp) I haves to takes a baff...well to be blunt, she says I stink. What do you expect after chasing squirrels, digging 87  (I've been hanging out with Mr. Furter too long...87...hehehe) holes, and digging up wild onions? I'm not suppose to smells like roses. Sheez Looiz! That's not all either. Mum says it woulds be most appropriate to wears a dress. I was justs going to wears my favorite t-shirt. It suits has a skull and crossbones on it. Ok, I must go now so I cans gets ALL my stuffs done before my big nite. I am so super-over-da-moon excited.
Before I goes I must leaves ya'll with a pickture of .....ME!

Peace out,

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Another Awardie and My Shopping Trip

On Monday, me and Alberto Videl Sassoon was chit chatting ofur breakfast and decided to go shoppings fur more stuffs fur our GABEaway. So, after mum lefts for da gym I took borrowed hers creditcard since she is brainless absent-minded and lefts it behind. Then me and Albert jumped in da truck and headed to da big city. We was going to takes my Big Wheel but decided not cuz da city was most too far away. Oh and bys da way, Albert drove (ya’ll don’t wants to see me driving to da city). Albert has a license you know. Well, it’s for a microchip, does that counts? So offs to da big city we went.

Anyways…movin’ along. We arrived at our destina-shun…The Barkery Bistro. It was the most fantastical I ever did see in my whole entire life.

They has just abouts everything you coulds ever want in da whole wide world. Except for real squirrels. They did haves squirrell cookies though. They has so many yummies there I thoughts I had done gones to da bridge. They gots lots of necklaces, leashes, toys, yummies, and yummies. They has whatevers you desires. It was a most majical place.

Anyways, we did some mingling and met some new friends. This here is Roxie, a very sweet, loooong-legged dawgie.

And we mets a pretty chiwawa and some other prissy furball of some sort. I didn’ts get a picture of them though.
On our shopping spree I even founds sumptin for da Amazin' Mayzie. Hey, did ya’lls know Mayzie is short fo Amazing? No, not really. I just pulled that outs of my poopershooter.
Then I goes to da counter and pays and whip out mum’s credit card. KA-CHING! Da stuffs paid fors. Well that was most easy.
So nows we're walking and we're walking
and walking....
more walking.

On our walk back to da truck, it was like a gazillion million steps away, I stumbled upon a RAT. Let me just tell you that rat had a most metallakie taste. BLAH!!!!

Buts we did hit da jack pot. Would you believes da water bowl we found. And believes me, afters all that walking I was parched.

So I hoppes back in da truck and Albert askeded hows I paid for da goods and I says, “I used mum’s credit card”. And then he says, “you goober, she doesn’t have a credit card”. Then I says,” wells, I used somebuddy’s credit card”. I mean really, it’s not real money it just a card...sheez!

So now on to our award...from da most wonderful Pit Crew, Kiss-a-bull. I likes them alot, they special doggies.

Now I am a Beautiful Blogger.
Thank You Crew.
I not too sure what da rules are buts since I don't do rules anyway...everybuddy take it since I love everybuddy!
The End
Peace Out,

Monday, April 12, 2010

Modeling Tips by Puddles

Is your hooman always trying to takes pictures of you? Cans you not evers relax and chill out without a snap, snap, snap? I knows how all you friends feel. When I was much littler, I thought mum’s camera was actually a growth on her face.So, today friends I goings to give you some of my tips on hows to be da most annoying perfectest model. I pwobly need to add another  diclaimr to dis post too but oh well....
Tip #1
Whens they gets all da adjustments on da camera just right, you keeps your body real stills like and then shakes your head with all your might.

Tip #2
Then whens they moves you to da betterest light…moves your head north and then you be backs in da shade.

Tip #3
When theys put da camera in your face you have 2 options

Da furst option is to close your eyes. Now this was even with out da flashy beast. When da moon, stars, and planets are aligned just right, Mum can do that without da flasher.

Da second option is to turn your head like so…(remember...never ever look directly into da camera)

Tip #4
ALWAYS turns around for da fabulous booty shot. Dis one always drives da mum KA-RAAZY!

Now if you notice, Albert’s doing it all wrong. He just sits and lets mum do whatever. He so passive. He really needs a life.

The End

Peace Out,

Thursday, April 8, 2010

My first awardie

Awwwwe, I gots my very first awardie from the ever so sweet Miss Mayzie. Did I mention she is sweet? I loves going to her bloggie, well, cuz she makes me happy. So sit back and relax and haves a cup of caffeine. Uh, you may wants to go for a potty break too because we coulds be here for awhiles. Ya'll ready nows? Here we everybuddy will know what makes me all giddy inside.

And here are da rules:

 1. Copy the image and paste it to your blog.

 2. List 10 things that make you happy, and do one of them today.

 3. List 10 friends who brighten your day.

  1.  My most favoritist toys in da whole wide universe are my Hide-a-Squirrel, my ball, and Albert’s ears. His ears are all hairy and it gets all in my mouth and thens I haves to yell, “Mummy! Comes get clean da Albert hairs out my mouth!”
  2. Da highlight of my day is when mum brushes me-I loves it so. Brudder and sissy make fun of me, thtey say I not need to bes brushed cuz I’m a nekkid girl. What they means by that is that my hair not long like theirs. Buts, I don’t’s care and I always first in da line.
  3. I loves to keel my stuffies, I rips their insdes out then I eats them…then I poop fluff for days.
  4. I seems to have a fetish for toilet paper. I’ts so cool to watch it unroll and unroll and unroll…till there is no more. Try it sometimes, you’ll enjoy it.
  5. I likes my yard, it is a most magical place because treats fall from da sky. Albert says they is pecans but they still fall from somewheres.
  6. I also enjoy hearing myself barks so I do it quite often. But da neighbors keep saying stuffs to me and Albert says I should never ever under any circumstance repeat da words.
  7. I loves with all my heart….being obstinate, manipulative, spoiled, sneaky, a pain-in-the-butt, conniving, bold,…well, I just love being me all day long.
  8. Something else I enjoy is when it’s time to goes beddie bye, I likes to run from mum. It’s most fun and enjoyable. However, mum doesn’t see da fun in it. I knows exactly what I’m suppose to do but I am a doxie. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
  9. I likes to chase squirrels every day. One time I even climbed da pecan tree in pursuit.
  10. And finally, sctarching my ear and then smelling my foot. It smells funky.

 Nows, picking 10 furiends was a doozy of a challenge. I loves everybuddy so it was most hard.

But this one time, I play by da rules….hehehehe. That just makes me cackle. And if ya'll already haves dis awardie, just pretends like you don't. Kay? kay.

Pees: Mum is making me add a disclaimer to dis post. So, if any of my furiends try any of dis stuff and you gets in trubles- you NEVER read dis post and you didn't no ideas from me....kay? Kay.

Peace out,

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

My girl

I wants ya’ll to meets somones was very special to me. This here is my hooman girl, Abigail. Her loves me so very much and is most wonderful yo me. And I loves her with all my heart.I gets so excited that s my whole body shakes, like when she gets up in da morning or when she gets home from skool. But’s I much drather goes with mum to picks her up, which I gets to do a lot. It always dependson Mum’s schedule though. I say throws da schedule outs da window. Literally! My girl worries bouts me you know. Her don’t like me to be sick or hurt. Ya’ll should have seen her when theys tooks me to haves my insides ripped out female surgery…tears just rolled down her wittle face, they was salty too. Or, likes da time I brokes out into hives, you could see da worry all in her eyes. I reciprocate (I got tthat word from Albert) da love too, likes da time she gots sumptin called da flu. I never left her side. Well sum=ombuddy had to keep an eye on her temperature. Oh and check dis out, did ya’ll knows that they don’t use da magic wand to check da hoomans temperature. They puts in da ear. How cool is dat? Anyways, I snuggled withs my girl for four days and made sures she lapped up plenty of water. Mum says our love shows. What cans I say, it’s good to be Puddles.

My very first nite in my new home

Da next week home

My very first Christmas

Pees: if it weren't for my girl, I wouldn't have da name Puddles Duddles Raindrop

Peace out,

Monday, April 5, 2010

My Easter Day

I swears, every time I comes back to my bloggie somebuddy has gone and changed it. Anyways, on to me. Wells, I had a most wonderful aster eggstavaganza. I gots to hunt me some Easter eggs.

Da only problem was dat there was no eggs  in da yard.  But, I did finds me a pecan to munch on.

I was so pooped out later that I couldn'ts even holds my head up.

Mum had every intentions of  photoshoot with me in my new Easter dressie but that didn't happen. She tried but I dove into da bushes soon as I saw that there camera. I was more interested in finding da eggs than having my picture made. And really, does she HAVE to takes that thing every place? Don't worries, I know she'll try again...she always does.
I hope all my special furiends had a most fabulous Easter.

Peace Out,