Friday, October 29, 2010

Friendly Friday Birfday

Happy Friday Ya'll!

 Ya'll will has to 'scuze my disguise...I still hidin' out from da Popo.

Screaming Mimi

It's another Friendly Friday
and today I's gonna kill 2 squirrels withs one stone
cuz it's also a special day fur a BIG fan of mine.
And I mean HUUUUUUUGE fan of mine...literally!

 I wanted to tells everybuddy bout a special birfday today only cuz my mum is making me.
Today happens to be Tucker da Great Danes's birfday.
(my mum has dis "thing" bouts him...I dunno why)
I think he is a cross between a horse and a dog.
But, whatever, he is one of them dat just can't gets nuff of da Puddles.
(incidently, my mum is one of them dat just can't gets nuffs of HIM...I thinks her is betrayin' da doxie breed)

Here's Tucker.....
 Oooops...hehehe...dat be's a trashcan.
I bets ya'll didn't knows his momma named him afters a trashcan.
Yep, her sures did.

Okay, so anyways Tucker gonna be havin' a pawty at his place today
so run overs and wish him a happy Birfday...
and when you drop by can somebuddy bring me my pawty supplies
(beer and Cheeto's)?
I don't think he evers really looked like
a puppy though.


And thanks fur bein' my fan furiend.
I hopes you has a wonderful today and everyday!
(ignore my mum while her ooooohs and aaaaaahs over his foto)


Peace Out,

PEES: we will be totally back on schedule Monday....
dis has been a difficult week fur us.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Today is Wednesday

(Subliminal Kool-Aid message----ON)

So today is suppose to be wordless but dat just ain't gonna happen.
I want to gives a big shout out to my kitteh furiends Sammy and Andy and their mom furs my most beutiful header.
Their sweet mom made my new banner fur ME.
Hers even put dat beret on my head...purty cool huh?
And I just looooooooves it!
(run overs and say Hi to them and tells them what a beautiful job they did withs da banner......
they may even posssibly make one fur ya'll...don't knows, I'll haves to get back to ya on dat one)
Ain't it beautifuls?

Now fur my wordless foto......
Have you evers seen anything quite so beautifuls before....sigh

The End

Peace Out,

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Free to MY Followers

Yep,...haves your volume up to gets in da mood!

Hellos MY followers...
in spite of da recent post from a Lotsa Alpo.
(Is dat REALLY a breed?)

I have come to offer ya'll
Believe me, you will NOT want to miss out on dis offer.
(If you will notice Tank is gonna charge you for his remedy)

So go forth and drink da kool-aid...I promise it will change you...furs da betters.
And be ONE with da Puddles.

The End...maybe, I shouldn't have said da end...ooops.

The BEginning
Pees: I will be back tomorrow to explain my most beautiful header...
my mum sure didn't make it.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Hellos! Anybuddy out theres?

Hellos, It's ME Puddles!
Hold da needs to clap fur me.
Puleeeease furgives me fur going astray...
I has been bombarded withs fan mail dis week.
So, I hasn't been able to do a proper post or comment at a fast rate.

I will return on Wednesday and in da mean time, I am making my way to your blogs...
just hang tight tills I get my crap togethers...not literally,  but you knows what I mean.

Okays, I done nows.

The End

Peace oUt,

Pees: Makes sure you has your volume up...hehehehehe!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Friendly Friday #2: Sam and Pippen

Hellos ya'll!
If you hasn't noticed yet, I is gonna participate in Oskar's Friendly Friday today.
It's kinda like a meet and greet.
Now, it was a mega hard decision to choose a particular blog cuz I just loves so many.
But, I decided on...


(These here are famous me! Got our frienship off to a beautiful start.)

Why you asks I decided on them...
cuz they just happens to be my biggest fans.
 They loves to get spam comments from me.
And, they usually sit my their computer and wait furs me to post a new entry too...
they can't get enuffs of da Puddles.
They send me fan mail aaaaaall da times to tells me how much they appreciate me.
No, really they do!
Okay so they don't but, dis is my blog and I can say what I want.
they haves a fabulously fun blog and I always leave psychologically warped  happy!
So run right overs and tells them never mind...don't tells them who sent you.

Okays nuff bouts is a luverly foto of me to end your week.
Feel free to come back and stares at it.


Peace Out,

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My Mum is A Freak Too

Dats right, my mum is a freak too!
(Her is like Twix's mom)

Her goes around taking bizarre fotos....
My sweet little paws.....


Me and Albert
 Unfortunately da weirdness don't stop theres though....

da back of my head????

keep goin' gets worser.
my tail????

I thinks my foto lady could use a new hobby.
Dis just ain't even normal.
I thinks her could use dat reservation at da hospital bouts now.
The End

Peace Out,

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Hows to Make A Pecan Pie

Happy Tuesday eveybuddies!
Since I had a few comments yesterday bout my pecans I thought I would shows ya'll how to makes da perfect pecan pie!
Just remembers dis is da Puddles way.

Da most important thing bouts pecans is dat you has to....
 go outside and taste test them.

{gets a foto mum so I can shows my fans furiends}
Yep, theys good.

Then you goes inside.
 (Ooooh, my nose seems to be outta focus...dats okays though cuz I still looks good)
Mum didn't help cuz hers don't even know where da darn kitchen is.

Then you gets a pot,
3 squirrels,
a beer,
and your pecans...
 combine all da ingredients in a pot
except da pecans cuz all I ates them all.

Put it da stove til it reaches a boil.

Unfortunately, I couldn't wait till it was done so I don't haves a photo of what it looks like when it was done...hehehehehe!
Just take it off da stove and eats it...or drinks it!

Hang on, I ain't done yet......
I wanna welcome Minna K's new sissy
to Blogland.

The End,

Peace Out,

Monday, October 18, 2010


Has ya'll evers wondered why I don't has alot of fotos of ME outside?
Oh you knows you has thoughts about it befores.
Well lemme's cuz I'm a doxie.
Come on, let me shows ya'll
how it is when da foto lady tries to fotograph outside.

Is ya coming or what? nose is ALWAYS
to da ground and it drives da lady  ka-razy!
It's a hound thing I'm sures.

 Oh's a pecan.


Wows...look hows flexible I is...I'm springy!

Okays, dat was afters bout 94 shots and they was ALL like dis so her gaves up....hallelujah!

And hers had NOT one decent foto....hehehehehe!

Okays, I'm done today. I really didn't haves anything to say today and I has to catch up on my blogs.

The End

Peace Out,

Friday, October 15, 2010

Damage Control by Albert

Greetings friends.
It is me, Albert.
(Please forgive me for not posting much as my sister has taken over the blog duties henceforth, I am a little rusty here).

I thought I would do a little post of my own today while
my sister Puddles is over at Frankie's place. She thought she was going to "eat a kit".
Poor thing thought it was tacos and Hamburger Helper.
 She is going to be disappointed when she realizes it was "etiquette" instead.
It is going to be interesting over sister giving out etiquette tips is laughable.
A meeting of the minds I am doubting

Anyway, I usually only blog when I have to do damage control. And today, that is why I am here.
 Puddles recently posted about a damaged window sill and put the blame on me.
Well, to be honest, it was true...I did it.
I was merely protecting my domain from intruders.
I can't help the fact the window sill was in the way.
But, that is not why I am here.
I am here to inform you all that while it is true, I don't get in trouble...
because I don't do anything to get in trouble
neither does SHE, despite all she does.
Let me present to you photos of an act that would clearly get any dog in trouble.

What Up?

You would think a dog on the table would warrant a grounding.
It didn't.
All mother said was, "Oh now Puddles dear, get down from the table."
...never once raising her voice.
(mother isn't too good at training anything...not even the child)


The puppy gets by with everything when she shouldn't.
Unfortunately, my mother is to blame for all this.

I should have taken over raising the girl and Puddles a long time ago.
If I had none of these shenanigans would be going on.
Puddles would have been a more productive citizen in blogville...
she wouldn't be running over squirrels although it sounds most fun
she wouldn't be leaving questionable comments on blogs...
she wouldn't be stealing laundry baskets and delivering contraband to friends...
nor would she be a drunk eating Cheeto's all day...
well, she would be more like me...sophisticated and refined.
Never mind, there was no hope for her to begin with.

Thank you for your time today.
I just wanted you all to know the truth around here...
No one gets in trouble around here even when SOMEONE should.
And, I will NEVER admit to how much fun Puddles can be.

By the way...this is the photo that was selected by you all for Twinkie's contest.

My apologies for this being long.
Until next time....


Thursday, October 14, 2010

Squirrel Awareness Month

Heeeeeeeellos...ya'll miss me's yesterday?
Okays, wells lemme tells ya'll wheres I was.
I gots an important memo from Cracker Dog (dat be thinking he has a betters tush than me)
 dat it is Squirrel Awareness Month .
Soooooo...I was on a mission then.
Mum left me home all by myself while hers went to Walgreens to return Kleenex (don't ask).
I gots da polaroid camera and jumped in my laundry basket...even bought myself a new bumper sticker. I  puted it on my laundry basket and displayed it proudly.

Even got one fur mum's car too...I thinks her will really like it.


I was mortified at what I witnessed yesterdays while I was in search being AWARE of da squirrels.
Them dam things tooks my Cheeto's...and was even mocking me.

Oh uh...he done went and messed withs da Puddles...
Well guess what I did.
I runned overs him.
(Dis my kitteh furiend...he only my furiend when I's looking fur squirrels though)

Then I went backs home and got outs my cook book
" How To Cook Road Kill In SC".
Found a recipe:

~ 3 squirrels, cleaned and cut up
~ 5 cups of beer
~ 1 - 28 oz can more beer
~ 1/4 cup all purpose flour
~ 1 teaspoon salt
~ 1/2 teaspoon pepper
~ 2 slices bacon
~ 2 tablespoons butter
~ 1 cup kibble
~ 1 heaping tablespoon of ketchup
~ 2 potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch cubes
~ 1 - 10 oz package cheese
~ 1 cup Cheeto's
~ 3 tablespoons all purpose flour

Combine 1/4 cup flour, salt and pepper. Coat the squirrel pieces.

In a Dutch oven, combine bacon and butter over medium heat until butter melts. Add squirrel and brown.
Add beer, more beer, kibble and ketchup and bring to boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, stirring occasionally.
Remove squirrel pieces and let cool. Remove meat from bones.
Add meat, potatoes, cheese and Cheeto's to Dutch oven. Heat to boiling, reduce heat and cover. Simmer until potatoes are tender.
Mix 3 tablespoons of flour with 3 tablespoons of cold water, then stir into stew. Heat to boiling.
Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until thickened, bubbly.
Serve with warm rolls and enjoy!

Does anybuddy haves a spoon?

The End

Peace Out,

Thank You Pip furs da laundry basket foto I stole.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Butt, I Need Some Help

Hellos everybuddy!
(to gets you in da mood, you haves to turn your volume up AGAIN...hehehehe)

Movin' along now....

Now ya'll knows Twinkie is having a tush contest.
Lucky fur me's cuz dis just happens to be my bestest
Hehehehe...I just loves to crack some jokes.
Oh me, I's a funny girl today.
Aaaaaand you gets a can of spray paint if yous win....Oh boy!!!!!!

Hang on.....
{Huh????? Oh, okays}

Okays mum say it ain't really spray paint it is carpet cleaner for (gasp)pee stains!

Well back to ME, I is having a problem (yea, I am aware dat dis IS da LEAST of MY problems ).
I narrowed down my selection from bouts 64,286 fotos of my butt to a measly 4!
Does ya'll thinks ya'll could help me pick a foto of my booty to enter?

(1) da Classic

(2) da sophisticated

(3) da svelte

(4) da elegant...
I do haves a cute little dimple on da right side

I know dis is a tuff call because I haves SOOOOO many cute little tush fotos.

The End

Peace Out,

Monday, October 11, 2010


Dis is NOT my usual fun post today.
Dis is a serious matter at hand paw.

Ya'll just won't evers believe dis!
Yesterday I went to get me a beer from da fridgidaire cuz da girls (You knows, my drinking furiends) 
was coming overs...and guess what....
they was NONE in theres.
NO BEERS!!!!!!!
(ooooooh Mayzie wasn't gonna be happy)
They was ALL gone!
So I set out to look fur 'em.

I surveyed da property.

Still checkin'.
I EVEN went and asked da neighbor.
 Hey Mr. Neighbor...has you seen my beer?
No? Okay.
Hehehehe...dat's my about cuuuuuute!
Sorry, lost my trin of thought theres.


Then I thought maybe it was in here.
Not in theres.

OKays, well then it hit me all of a sudden.
I started thinking...maybe...just maybe it was them squirrels.
I know it didn't sound like it was possible but, ever since Tank got hurt them squirrels has gotten mighty brave.
Low and behold I, Puddles FOUND my stolen beer and I has a foto to prove it.
I told ya so!
Ya'll didn't believes me did ya?
And look...he even stole my straw.

Soooooo, now here is my theory.....
I believe da "doggie" dat whacked Tank in da knee to render him crippled  was actually a squirrel in disguise. I know it's a little far fetched but all da signs are there.

Now, I has made a wanted sign furs ya'll to be on da lookout fur dis doggie/squirrel. Please make copies and post them on EVERY tree you see or pee on....I will not haves my beer stolen don't makes me happy.
I gotts to have my beer ya know.
Oh yea, and we don't want anymore furiends whacked in da knee either.

If found please contact your local authorities.
Subject is considered armed and dangerous.
....and watch your knees.


Peace Out,

PS: Don't furget to send questions to Frankie Furter...

Friday, October 8, 2010

Ya Ain't in Kansas Anymores

Dats is in my neck of da woods now!
No more Kansas!
To gets da full effect make sure you has your volume's good!
Well I swaney, I found da Cheeto's furs dat Cracker Dog.
Da beer is mine though!
Course, I will shares...
but ummmm, I thinks I drank it all.
Ya'll mights want to watch out furs them neighbors over yonder. They might tries to steal my couch, all they has is office chairs on their porch.
Now ya'll wondering what alls I be talking bouts huh?
Well there has been a deep interest in my southernese from a fan of mine dat shall remain anonymous...cuz I surely wouldn't want to embarass him...though I would prolly take great pleasure in it.

So just as moonshine,
Squirrel Stew,
couches on da front porch and
My hero,
Mr. Jeff Foxworthy

it's all....
a redneck southern thing
and ya prolly wouldn't understand.

 Today I thought I would shares withs ya'll da ways we talk down heres in da South of USA!
We has a very different way withs our words, and dialect ya knows.
So here is a very educational list of words dat we's likes to use round our parts.
But may NOT wants to use these words in public cuz you might...well, I just wouldn't if I was ya'll. 
So without further ado,
I gives you da Redneck Dictionary (or part of it)

1) HEIDI  - Greeting

2) HIRE YEW -  How are you.
"Heidi, hire yew?"

3) BARD -  Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". 
"My brother bard my pickup truck."

4) JAWJUH -  Georgia.
"My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner."

5) MUNTS - Months. 
"My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

6) THANK - Think.
 "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

7) BARE - Beer
"Ah thank ah'll have a nutter bare."

8) IGNERT - Ignorant
"Them Bammer boys shore are ignert!"

9) RANCH - Wrench.
"Ah thank ah left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

10) ALL - Oil
 "Ah shore hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

11) FAR - Fire
 "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far."

12) TAR - Tire
 "Gee, ah hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

13) TIRE - Tower
"Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, ah shore do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

14) RETARD - Retired
"My grampaw retard at age 65."

15) FAT - Fight
"You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."

16) RATS - Rights
"We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

17) CHEER - Right here.
 "Jest set that bare rat cheer."

18) FARN - Foreign.
"I cuddin't unnerstan a wurd he sed... mus be from some farn country."

19) DID - Dead.
 "He's did, Jim."

20) ARE - Air
 "He cain't breath ... give 'im some are!"

21) BOB WAR - Barb wire.
"Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."

22) JEW HERE - Did you here.
 "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?

23) HAZE - He's.
"Is Bubba smart? Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

24) SEED -  Past tense of "to see". 
 "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."

25) VIEW - Have you
 "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City ... view?"

26) GUBMINT - Government
"Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

27) FIXIN' - Getting ready to...
"Ah's just fixin' to do that now."

Peace Out,

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent,
they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
Jeff Foxworthy

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

PSA: Please Read

My beautiful furiend Minna K's brother Dude has gone to the bridge today.
Please go and leave her momma some words, she is heart broken

You will always be in our hearts Dude and we will look out for your family.
We love and miss you!
.....until we meet again dear one.

Love Puddles and family

Wordless? Yea Right!

Sorry bouts da hijacking of MY bloggie yesterday buts I really had no choice.
Mum said if I didn't let her tells everybuddy bouts sissy then her wouldn't feed me nuttin to eat fur supper...and well, I likes to eat sooooo....I relented.
But just look at what ya'll missed....

Dis is me withs da wind blowing in my ears!

Anyways, I know dis suppose to be Wordless Wednesday (like I haves followed directions befores)
but I just has a come ya'lls don't get all excited when I does sumptin?
ME drinking a keg should be a momentous too, or ummmm...whatevers else I has done
(I accomplished alot you knows).
And furs da record, I Puddles Duddles et al, walk beautifully on a leash!

Okays ummmm, mum would also likes to thank everybuddy furs da super sweet comments and advices bouts sissy. They really meant alot to us her. And then her said some more stuffs but I furgots...I really was paying no attention to hers, it sounded more like blah, blah, blah.
Hers ain't gonna make a habit of stealing da bloggie, I PROMISE!

Peace Out,

PEES: I has to go clean out da couch cushions, I'm looking fur some Cheeto's.
I gots a text message bout it from some Cracker Dog.