Friday, December 30, 2011

My trip to da Pet store

Happy Friday everybuddy!

Befores Christmas I gots to go to go to da pet store and I was like so fulls of da excitements!
I just couldn't wait and I kepts thinking bouts all da stuffs I wanted and dat I was gonna gets...
like tons and tons of treats...and foodables...and treats...and squeeky toys...and treats.

 "ooooooooh, looks at dat big bone!"

My dear furiend Remington sent me da shirt I has on...good thing cuz I can't go nekkid in public.
Well I mean I could but it was freeeeeeeezin' outside.

 "Little Girl, hand me dat bone...I caaaaaaan't reeeeeeeach it."

"What does you mean we is done shoppin'?"

OMD...all we cames furs was new teefbrushes?
 Are you freakin' kidding me?
(Yea and we gots a new jail cell mat furs sissy's old's called an orthogeriatric pad...hehehehe!)

I not gets no piktures cuz I was too distrought overs dis so called shoppin' trip.
It was a waste of my time and energies.

Alls I gots was a TEEFBRUSH!
A teefbrush...really?

Oh and then theres was dis nice worker lady dat was just oooohin' and aaaaahin' overs me and asked me my name and I was likes Uh...does you not knows who I is? I HAD to tells her my name...Puddles... and she STILL didn't knows who I was. Even thoughs her didn't knows who I was her went on and on abouts my cheery disposition and mannerisms and mum was laughin' at hers. Her was a nice lady.
Ummmmm, I has no idea why I just told ya'll dat story.

Please send treat donations to:
*Will not accept green beans*
Puddles Duddles Rainbarrel Butt
123 Puddles St.
Redneckville, SC

PS: Mum did be havin' orange poops on da botton of her shoes yesterday...told ya'll da week wasn't overs...bwhahahahahaha! They was her GOOD shoes too...and they matched.

Puddles...NOT brushin' my teefs...I eatin' cheetos.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Flakey Mum

I has a story furs ya'll today...hehehe...sorry, I can't stop laughing.

Bwhahahahahahaha....hehehehehe...ooooooh, I can't stop!

Nows I know I could haves saved dis furs My Peep Is A Flake but dis was just too good to wait till then and besides I has PLENTY more materials.

Okays, so ya'll remembers last Friday when Whitney was tryin' to go poop?
Well, dat mornin' mum gots up at 4:00 in da mornin' (why, I has no idea it ain't like she works or anything) made her coffee and then put on her old running shoes...and let me and Whitney out of our jail cells crates.
 Mum picked Whitney up to takes her to see if hers would poop outside...of course hers didn't. Nows I be thinkin' it was cuz mum had a freakin' flashlight and watchin' hers but what do I know.
(By da way, Whitney has to be carried in and out nows cuz hers can't do steps no mores.)

Aaaaaanyways, so Whitney FINALLY went and pooped at around 8:30..and it was orange (and I was so hopin' to gets a video of mum givin' hers an enemy-ma...darn).
It wasn't until 9:30 dat mum realized her......
....had on 2 DIFFERENT shoes!
What a dork!
I mean, it took her 5 whole hours to realize her shoes didn't match.

Does ya'll now see what I has to lives with?


Friday, December 23, 2011

Alls We Want Furs Christmas

Dis is our tree dat is bouts to fall overs cuz some dog, I won't mention any names, runs 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round it...and all up through it.
Maybe dats why da bottom row of lights went out?
Good times, good times.

Let me tells ya'll what I want furs Christmas.

Nekkid Puddles
All I want furs Christmas is a squirrel...
da neighbor's kitteh...
some long hairs to keeps me warm...
a bag of treats da size of da biggest ball of twine...
no baffs furs a year...
4 pee-can pies (without worms)...
a puppy...
112 cookies in da shape of bones...
a martingale collar with skulls(cuz ALL Greyhounds need one)...
and of course a matching leash...duh...
a REAL princess crown with REAL diamonds (I'd look good wearing dat on da front porch sittin' on my couch)...
a million squeeky toys...
to be a show dog...
and to takes overs da world world peace...
hmmmm...I thinks dats it.

NOWS I tells you what I DON'T want.
I don't want NO green beans or
toe nail clippers.

Nows it's da Blobs turn...

 Oooops sorry...dats me again.

 Me again...I do believes I gots carried away lookin' at myself.
Dang, you is hawt today self.

Okays, heres da Blobs furs real dis time.

All I want for Christmas is a normal family with normal sisters.
(now why on earth would he want dat?)

All I want for Christmas is to go poop.
(okays, I has to agrees withs dat one)

Update: Sissy still hasn't done her bizness yet and if mum can't find a Hazmat suit or borrow Blueberry's bubblesuit to gives Whitney an enemy-a then her will take hers to da Vet and let them do it.
I told mum hers should really just suck it up and quit bein' a pansy.

We hopes all our friends haves a Very Merry Christmas!

Puddles, Albert, and Whitney

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Sissy Whitney

Sorry, but dis post is bouts my sissy Whitney. Ya'll rememebrs her? I knows, hers be as shy as a bug in a bed (ooops sorry mum)....hehehehe...I thinks mum just threw up in hers mouth when I said dat. Anyways, so Whitney don't blog cuz of hers shyness so I is gonna do it fur hers today and it'll be way mores entertaining from my perspective. Ya'll would just die from shear boredom if hers did it.

Okays, to make a long story short...Whitney has had some issues and mum just couldn't figure it out (Well duh, like hers a vet or sumptin) all hers knew was dat Whitney was in pain and mum bein' da "genious" dat her is thoughts it was her tummy (in her defense da vet thought it was da tummy too).
So since mum was freaking out concerned bouts Whitney hers took her to da Vet and they did stuffs like testing her neurological junk and gaves her a big honking shot furs da pain and then they went home. Well, Whitney wasn't getting any betters what so evers so they went back to da vet yesterday. Theys stole hers blood and ran some fangdangled tests. Her results came back totally normals so then they shipped hers off to da xray machine and......
(insert drum roll)

...they discovered Whitney has Spondylosis in her back.

To dumb it down furs you likes they hads to do furs my mum, dat be likes bone stuffs growin' on her spine.. So dat wheres all da pain be from. Aaaaaaand they also founded out her has an enlarged heart. Mum says it's cuz her is so sweet but I don't thinks dat was what they meant but I is just gonna lets mum believe what her wants. So, cuz of her BIG heart they has to be real careful withs her medications...(but mum prolly needs some to calm her butt down). They gaves her Rimadyl and we has seen a little improvement so fars but we just takin' it one day at a time right nows. And mum has been suffocating loving on da Whitney and doin' all dis nonsense baby talk to her...OMD, does her sound likes an idiot. Her be goin' around..."how do you feel Little Mama"..."Whitney, are you hurting my sweet girl?" she can really talk back or sumptin.

But dat ain't all...oh dis is embarraasing furs da Whitney...hers can't poop. Mum has been giving hers pumpkin an following her outside to sees if her will crap and NUTTIN has happened. You should see hers at O'dark thirty withs a flash light outside to sees if Whitney has her done her bizness (oh what do da neighbors think). If Whitney don't do her thing by tomorrow then mum has to gives her an ENEMA...bwhahahahahaha...seriously, can ya'll sees mum giving an enema. It just makes me laugh thinking bouts it. (Send good thoughts to my mum).

Sorry dis was so looooooooong, just wanted ya'lls to knows what was goin' on if we was kinda hit and miss withs da blogs....mum has to watch Whitney go poop. I bet mum nevers thought her would nevers haves to do dat.

I loves you sissy, please get betters.

I do feel sorry furs da vet though. We has his cell number, home number, and clinic number on speed dial AND we knows where he lives (gulp).

Does anybuddy knows how to gives an enema?


Wednesday, December 21, 2011


Hellos, it be da Puddles...duh.
Okays so by nows ya'll shoulds prolly knows...unless you has been living unders a rock...
dat What's Her Name from da Dachsies With Moxie is gonna makes a HUMONGUS quilt furs Sandra.
You can click heres to read bouts it.

Here I is on a very special snugglie thingamabob dat was made by my mum's friend...just furs me...not  furs Albert or Whitney but furs ME!
I has a fetish fur blankies ya know {some may call it an obsession but whatevers}

Don't worry, it's been washed.
I hads my mum cuts out a 6x6 square fur me since
 I is not allowed to play with sharp objects {ie: scissors, power tools, knives, box cutters}

Now heres it is with a hole...
dat hole right theres represents da hole da Pittie Pack has left in our community and hearts...
so, nows when I see dat hole I'll always think of them.

And just in case ya'll furgots what I has looked like from da beginning of dis post I show you another foto of me cuz I looks good and all my hairs was in place today.
I just looooves a good hair day!
{Actually, we is havin' computer screen issues and has no freakin' clue what these fotos looks like.}

Puddles...your Blogville Princess Pee-can

Friday, December 16, 2011


Yes, I know dis is a recycled foto but you can looks at it again while I tells my story

 Okays ya'll knows how I likes to eat pee-cans?
Well, I eated me a pee-can da other day...
and mum didn't knows...then I threw it up...I went in my crate and threw it up just so you'll knows.

Well crazy lady comes to check on me cuz her thoughts it was weird dat I just went in my crate furs what her thought was no apparent reason.

Dats when hers discovered...
 I tossed my pee-can.
I eated half of da pee-can whole. Does dat make sense?
So Mum pulled out my bedding and saws da pee-can and OMG...

...a WORM in da pee-can....dat I eated!
2 worms to be exact!

Lemme just say da crazy lady went KERAZY and gaggin', and stompin' her feets, and OMGin', and hyperventalating.
Hers really looked likes a moron if you want my opinion.

Her called da VET faster than you could skin a squirrel and they laughed at hers reassured her dat I would be okays from da worm.
Then they told mum they wasn't surprised which dog did it...WTH?

Nows mum was so GROSSED out cuz her is a bugaphobe and germaphobe dat hers WOULD NOT even takes a foto of my worm! Can ya'll believes dat?
Don't worries though cuz I couldn't leaves ya'll so hangin' so I gots a picture from da internet fur visuals.

Some of you may wanna close your eyes if you has a weak tummy.
 "Close your eyes likes dis"
Pee-can worm

Hope ya'll has a wonderful weekend now!

Puddles...Pricess Pee-can

*I thinks my mum just regurgitated.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Wednesday 12/14

Dear Santa,
I thoughts I would provide you evidence dat I has been a good girl furs da past 5 seconds dis year.
Just look at dis foto...see, I was sleeping loving on my Brudder. You knows cuz he makes a nice, fluffy pillow I loves him so much and it hads nuttin to do withs him bein' in front of da heat vent.

 To my fans,
Please furgets all bouts dis foto by tomorrow
I am just trying to gets on da GOOD list.
I must protect my reputation

Puddles...and Blob 1 Albert

Monday, December 12, 2011

Happy Monday ya'll.

Dis weekend I spent time looking furs my Christmas pressies...
and I was shocked!
I was apalled, devestated, heart broken...yada yada yada.

 Just in case ya'll furgots what my butt looked like...ain't it cuuuute?

Da Puddles very sad indeed.
Mooooooooom....where's my pressies?
I promise I has been a good girl dis year.

{Well, I couldn't help myself when da neighbor kitteh gots on da porch...
her did have lots of hair by da way...
nor could I helps da fact dat Sissy's Trifexis was right in her my face...
nor can I helps I has to burrow in ALL da blankies and they subsequently smell likes me...
nor can I helps it dat I nips da fingers when I gets a treat...
Oh and sorry bout da broken ornaments dis year...
and about da rehab peoples, I didn't mean furs them to quit their job...
how much time does we have?}

All I wanted furs Christmas was some treats dat ain't green beans...bleh!
What kinda fool gives green beans as a treat?


Friday, December 9, 2011

For Pip

I gotta say, I was very disturbed when I returned to Blogville and discovered
my partner in crime my drinking buddy my pal Pip was couchless.

{ain't I gawjuss?}
When Pip ain't happy...da Puddles ain't happy

So I took matters into my own paws and did a little couch shopping to find Pip and his family da most perfectest couch evers.

a dog's dream couch.....
it's made outta stuuuuuuuuffies!

Now Pip, if you is reading dis you may has to sit down fur dis next couch...{sorry but I guess you'll be sitting on da floor} you may just pass out.
You ready?
It's a hamburger couch.
Pip, is you still with us? Pip are you there?

Now dis next one is my personal favorite...
Nows dats what I'm talkin' bouts.
Dis one just cracks me up...even more than I crack myself up.

Okays, I ain't too sures bout dis couch.

da perfect couch furs da kitteh home...cuz they prolly shouldn't be allowed on it.

Sorry Rosie...bwhahahahahahaha!

So theres you go.
I just don't knows why it's takin' your peeps so long to gets a couch....
I found all these awesome couches in a matter of seconds online.

Puddles...da one and only

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Guuuuuuuuess Whoooooooo?

Da Puddles Duddles Cutest Butt on Earth IS BAAAAACK!!!!!!

Okays, ya'll can pick your chins up off da floor now.....
Oh and look, I is still gorgeous as evers.

I do so very much apologize fur my absence totally mum's fault though. I knows it must have been tuff around here without me....sigh. Whatevers did ya'll do at all da pawties without me.
Oh and I hasn't changed a bit eithers....hehehe...I cracks myself up.

Please bear with me until we figure out dis whole bloggin' thing again but right now I must go see everybuddy on their blogs....dat was your warning by da way...bwhahahahahaha!
Dats right...I is on my way to your blogs.

Gosh, how I has missed ya'll! Oh and yea, we should haves let everybuddy known we was still alive.
but mum apparently took up another hobby called procrastination.
Her is very good at it I might add, at least her does sumptin well I guess.

okay Peace out,

Puddles...da one and only
PS: I has to haves my photo taken on da couch....OMD how hard could dat be?
I likes da couch...poor Pip!

PSS: i thinks I need a beer afters dis very much borin' post and one to celebrate.