87 Days Later I gotted a package

About 87 days ago and 87 days laters I gotted a pressie in da mail from Frankie and Ernie...

it was a replacememt from da one they sented earlier but it was taken to Mars and then Jupitor

See, they sent me a package, I never gotted it.

Then they sent me a card, I never gotted it.

Then da card was sent back to them sayin' there was no mailbox to deliver it too.

Yea, I was thinkin' WTF?????
I has a freakin' mailbox cuz da post office made us stick one on da road instead of on our house "to save money"
Don't get me started on dat.

Anyways, so Frankie gotted da card sent back to him...
...and he even sent a foto of it fur verification of my addy.
Well, kerazy lady becomed stoopid lady and was all like..."Yes, that's our address!"...
....well, duh, no it wasn't!
Da house number wadn't right.

But anyways, dis is what they sent to replace da lost pressie.

I can fit my head in heres...hehehe...but I don't get why kittehs likes boxes so much.

"Geez, look at all dis stuffs"

"Mmmmmm...dat smells heavenly"

Dat thingy is a licky thingy...it has a roller ball and you licks it.

I gots a chewy teef brush...OMD, I want anudder one!

Nows dis is my kind of teef brush!

I finished it off in one sittin'.

We don't get chewy stuffs cuz Albert is da Alpha and he gets pissed if we has chewy stuffs and then he tries to steals 'em...but he not knows I had dis...bwhahahahahahaha...sucker!

Hers all my stuffs...I likes cows with horns, horns remind me of ME.
Nows has you evers seen a car magnet so perfect fur da Weenie Mobile? No, I think not.
And theres my licky thing.
Frankie and Ernie also sent My Girl some candy but hers done took them downstairs to eat and to rot hers teefies out.

Nows, I not has da udder fotos of da udder package done yet so we'll all has to wait until da kerazy lady stops bein' busy.
Aaaaaaaand I gotted sumptin' super cool from Remington too so guess what?
You has to wait to sees dat too.

Okays I sees ya'll back heres on Friday.
Puddles

Brudder Goose.....

OOOOOOOH BRUUUUUDER GOOOOOOOSE.....

(capitals be fur emphasis)

is you theres?
It's me, Puddles D. Rainwater

 I has a favor to ask of you.

Sees, I knows how much you loves sticks

and I has a stick I needs you to come get, it's huge. it's gigantic, it's giiiiiiiinormous!

It's even BIGGER than me, okay so must things is but dats not really da issue.
Want me to shows you?

Seeeeee.....

Can you sees it? It be behind me.

Okay, okay, I'll moves so everybuddy can see.

Okay, seeeeeeee!

 I told you it was a biggin...it camed from my pee-can tree.

It be AAAAAALL in my way.

 I likes to dig heres and I can't get through it to gets to my spot.

It do be very important furs me to gets my daily excercise udderwise...

I gets very restless and ornery and dat ain't a purty sight.

 Will you puuuuuuulease come get dis stick?

Huh? Huh? Will ya?

I'll pays you in beer and Cheetos.

Puddles

Our Tea Pawty

I is finally back to Blogville.

I was spendin' time withs My Girl before hers hads to go back to school to get her education on.

And I not mean to toot my own horn or her horn...but I goin' too anyways...My Girl is in da gifted and talented program again dis year AND also da Advanced math program!

Dam, I has raised a smart cookie....it's obvious her not get her smarticals from mum.

Okays, now back to my post....
I tooks a little breakie from da blogs cuz it was MOST important furs me to spend some time
withs My Girl befores her went back to da school house.
Well I thunked and I thought  bouts what we could do.
Then I thought well, her is a girl and I is a girl and girls like tea pawties.
Dis will just be perfect...I thoughted.
So I hads da kerazy lady to go sets up a table withs a purty table cloth and tea set...a plastic tea set,
dat way hers wouldn't break it....hehehe.

I even got dressed furs da occasion.

Nobuddy wants to sees a nekkid dog at a tea pawty.

I looks all cute donchoo thinks?

"Girl, dis would be betters if your mum actually put tea in da cups?"

"They is empty"

"I should has known betters than to rely on da kerazy lady"

 We was havin' a good 'ol time chit chattin', discussin' da world's problems, my desire fur world domination and yada yada....and then BAAAAM...our tea pawty was bomabarded by da blob.

 "@%$&!, I is out of focus...and you needs to get your hairy dog woman!"

Then da kerazy was all like..."Puddles let me get a picture of you and Albert together."

Yea sure, whatevers.

 So I sat theres likes da good dog dat I is and looked all purties.

Mum made me put dis foto in of da blob..you can scroll thrugh it if you want.

So afters all dat hubabaloo our tea pawty came to a close.

"I loves you Girl and I is so super proud of you!"

I gaves My Girl a big wet kissie on da cheek and telled her how much I loves hers.

And then I lets da Girl take me furs a walk....

I made her carry me cuz I was exhausted from pullin' togedders dat tea pawty.

It was such a MAGICAL day fur us just bein' ables to spend quality time togedders...hence, da corny pink tint in da fotos...courtesy of mum.

And just cuz mum always takes a pikture of da Girl's new school shoes every year....
...heres her new shoes.

Okays, I is done and I has much more tells ya'll laters.

Puddles

I Gotted Some Stuffs

I gotted some stuffs in da mail and I wanna show ya'll.

  I gotted some cards in da mail...but dis pikture sucks.

I is smellin'/readin' da one from Deccy.

Believe me, it smells like him.

 Ain't they purty cards?

Oooooh, ya'll is wonderin' why I has a band-aid on my head?

 Can ya'll sees it?

Sasha sent me some band-aids incase I evers bust my head or gets hurt some freak accident...

I figured I'd go ahead and put one on fur precautionary reasons...I is Puddles afteralls and it's still early in da day and there be no tellin' what could happen.
Dat dern Sasha knows me all too well.
They has princesses on them...hehehe.

Okays here is an almost, still not quite good pikture of my cards

I gots such good furiends...da one from Frankie and Ernie ain't theres cuz I has to explain it laters.

Da card withs da squirrel is from Corbin and it has a bunch of redneck words on it, we knews them already though...hehehe. He wited 87 months to send it.
I also gotted dis stuffs from Corbin...

it's a chicken!

I has always wanted a chicken since da day I saw one at da vet's office.

It had feathers though.

  Dis one not has feathers cuz feathers might get stucked in my teefers

 "Okays buddy, back off da toys"

 Dats my Brudder Albert, he is bein' a toy whore.

I biggified dis furs ya'll cuz it makes me laugh.

My head be upside down.

See, now him come tries to be all nicey

"Hehehehe...stop...Okay, I furgives you brudder"

See, I dids has a good birfday afterall...thanks to my furiends.

Sorry I didn't link nobuddy, I was just too lazy to do it.

Thank you Madi, Maggie Mae and Max, Nola, Deccy, Corbin, and Sasha

 I has my cards wheres I can sees them.

I will tells you aaaaaaall bouts da package(s) I gotted from Frankie...
once it re-entered da earths atmosphere.

Puddles

An Idiot Mum Post on Thursday

I know, I know, I nevers post on Thursday but dis was just 

to good to wait for.
Get comfy.

There is nuttin' I enjoy more in life...udder than huntin...than to make fun

of da kerazy Lady when her does sumptin' STOOPID.

Well furiends does I has a doozy of a stoopid story furs ya'll today.

Her stoopidity is just priceless and totally makes fur good blog material.

(I don't has a lot of piktures so I drew some to make do)

See, it all started when her saw Brudder Albert outside barkin' and lungin'.

Well, mum knew Albert was afters sumptin...duh...genius I tells ya.

So her goes outside to see what was goin' on and of course I was right behind

hers cuz I is nosey. 

Well low and behold it was a turtle...STUCK in da fence.

Not a bright turtle cuz he tried to go through da hole in da fence and his shell gotted stuck.

Well we was all carryin' on and barkin' and a snappin' and lunging at da turtle and mum said

we was actin' like a bunch of idiots. 

Okay we was, what can I say? 

But it was a turtle and I had nevers seen one.

So mum tried to push da turtle back through and it wouldn't budge...

so then hers had to kick it through...don't worry, it not get hurt.

Yes, it has birdie poop on it's shell.

So there it was on da udder side of da fence but we could still sees it and it drove us kerazy.

Okay, so mum picks me up to take me in da house since I be da littlest.

and I was kickin' and screamin'! 

Like dis...

Is ya'll still followin' me?

While I was rudely put in da house, Albert was outside diggin' tryin' to get to da turtle.

Well, him was all caked in mud.

 I thought he looked good but mum didn;t.

So hers picked him up...

...brung him in da house...

and threw him in da bafftub...

....bwhahahahahahahaha!

And then went to get a cup to rinse him off....cuz he has nevers jumped out of da bafftub...

her comes back to dis...

...and dis...

...and dis...

 ...and then her plops him back in da tub.

 ...and then her plops him back in da tub.

He was trying to go back outside to get to da turtle.

So then mum gets him all washed up and her and da girl takes off to da "Good but Weird Neighbors"...dats da yard da turtle is in and mum wanted to move da turtle so we wouldn't

be goin all kerazy cracker dog.

So mum tells da Good Neighbor Man her is gonna go move da turtle...he says okay.

So mum and My Girl go trapsin' through their yard which is incredibly grown overs withs trees and bushes and old spare parts to junk.

While they is walking through da tropical Forrest mum gets mutilated by skeeters...hehehehe.

Ahem, okays...da turtle is GONE!

So then mum tells da girl she ain't walkin' back through their yard and they will just has to jump da fence.

Mum jumps da fence...

Look REEEEEEAL good at my drawin' ...hehehehe

Her gotted her foot stuck...like da turtle...but hers not fall.

So mum and da girl gets over da fence in one piece and then My Girl turns to mum and says....

"Why didn't we use the gate?"

Again, da drawin...

 They jumped overs da fence and there was a gate 5 feet away....all they had to do was open it and walk through...duh.

Bwhahahahahahahahaha...OMD, I love it heres...so much to talk bouts.

Okays, thank you furs letting me tells ya'll dis incredibly long story.

Puddles

NOT a Puddles Post??????

Folks, i has to tells ya'll some very disturbin' news,

it's horrible, terribles, and just plain KERAZY.

Ya'll just won't evers believe it.

Dis foto has nuttin' to do withs my post, I just thoughted I should has me a pikture here.

Dis was from da openin' parade ceremony.
Devil outfit courtesy of Sam and Pippen.

So da udder day...my birfday actually, da 28th...da kerazy lady lefted me us, said she had to go do sumptin' fur her BFF Molly.

Molly ain't kerazy though. Okays, I totally takes dat back cuz we do refers to her as da Kerazy Kat Lady...her has like 87 kittehs. Her be one of these peoples dat will nevers turn her back on a kitteh..or a dog...or a turtle...or anything else dat breaths. Her is a good hooman. And when her comes overs her pets me and I has even stopped peein' on myself when her pets me nows. I thought ya'll should knows dat.
 Anyways, I had a bad feelin' bouts dis. Especially cuz I knew Molly was out of town.
Hmmmm, I wondered.

 Nows, don't get me wrong, I loves and treasures my kitteh furiends...
...I am just not fond of strange kittehs

Mum came home...I said " wheres you been?"
she said " Out".
I said "Out wheres?"
Then she said "It's none of your business."
Then I said " You stink."
She says, " Uh, thanks?"

Mum stunk...like strange kitteh!
But guess what, hers not so bright cuz I hads da fotographic evidence.
OMD...LOOK at what was on da camera (da camera dat should only be used fur me)

Mum LOVES dis foto but it be a shame her cut da ears off...nuttin new theres.
And she wanted to takes dis kitteh home...aint gonna happen woman.

I just don't even knows what to think bouts all these kitteh fotos .
I am so distraught, I am so mortified...I so needs a cool refreshing beer.

Oh, mum had to go scoop kitteh litter boxes....
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
OMD, dat is hilarious!!!!!!!

Puddles
PSMy mum thanks each and every one of ya'll fur her birfday wishes...ya'll made her blush.