A Story

Good day boys and girls.
I interrupts my blog today to brings you da latest news.

Today I wants to shares a story withs ya'll.

It's a luverly tale of my...

IDIOT MUM!

Da udder day da Kerazy Lady also known as da IDIOT MUM,
 noticed her had gotten bitted by sumptin.

It wasn't a big deal at da moment.

But da next day when her was at da gym it had gotten all red and puffy and hurted.

(Gee mum, was it da fact your shoes was tied right on top and you was doin' cardio?)

It not looks too awfully bad theres.

Hers only gotted 15 minutes in on da treadmill befores her had to stop.

(I soooooo coulda done mores than dat with one eye and throat closed up from a reaction).

Well mum heads off into da udder part of da gym lookin' fur a doctor.

Her spotted one and calls..."Excuse me, I need a doctor."

OMD I was thinkin'...dat is MY doctor...MY vetatrician!

So her tells da good vet ALLS bouts her grody foot.

He looks at her foot and diagnosed it...a bite, prolly a spider...duh.

He says to soak it in Epsom Salt.

He then looks at her and says.."You don't have Epsom Salt do you?"

Yea, dat would be a NO.

Oh PUUUUULEASE, we not even has flour or sugar in da house.

Anyways, so da vet man says to come by da clinic and get some

sort of mossy salve stuffs to draw out da venomous stuffs.

I asked hers if he was gonna takes her tooks her temeperature,
cut her nails, or express her butt glands.

Her rolled her eyeballs at me...can you believes dat?

 I was just in awe dat mum would STEALS MY doctor 

and then has da audacity to gets medical paraphernalia from him too!!!!

Then mum camed home befores her had to go gets da Girl from school
and called Frankie and Ernie's mom...
...cuz her knows everything and tolded mum to takes some Benadryls.

I shared my Benadryl with hers but her gotted her own cup, her not use my cup.

Dat would me gross...
...MUM COOTIES..BLAH!

Her dranked it all up likes a good girl.

And then made da goooooofiest expressions on her face.
I not thinks da cherry flavor is too bad.

So her went to da vet shortly laters and he was out of his mossy brown salve stuffs.

Dats what her gets.

Her should gets her own doctor.

Now when peoples ask if mum went to da doctor bout her foot I say,
 "no, her went to da vet."
I gets some really peculiar looks withs my response.

I should prolly also mention dat our vet is a family furiend so he 

knows already knows mum is an idiot specials in her own way.

Puddles

from Frankie and Ernie and dis and dat

Wells it be Wednesday...

...why does I feels like dis becomin' a routine?
It cuz mum be thinkin' da world revolves around hers
and dat is SOOOO not da case!

Befores I dive into my post I wanna thanks everybuddy
fur such luverly birfday messages to My Girl.
Ya'll just has no idea how special ya'll made her day...her was just beamin' all day!
WAIT just one more second....
I has to wish PIP a most wonderful HAPPY GOTCHA DAY....
my HERO, my PARTNER in CRIME, my BFF.

HAPPY GOTCHA DAY buddy!

Nows onto my post that I should has done 87 days ago.
You sees, I gotted a pressie in da mail from Frankie and Ernie fur my birfday.
Yes, I knows...my birfday was in July and it be Sept. nows.

Nows don't laugh cuz we had to do our foto session in da baffroom.
Kerazy Lady says da light was betters in theres.

Da package was adressed to ME, Puddles....
NOT Albert!
But he was gettin'' his nose all up in my business and I was like WTF Brudder, dat MY bix!

"Hmmmmm, what does we has heres?"

OMD, theres was so much goodness in dat box I just not even knows wheres to start.

Well, I starts my shovin' my face in da box like da well mannered girl I is.

"Scuze me but I sees beer trays and no beer boys"

Those blue disc things mum thought was frisbees...BWHAHAHAHAHAHA...

OMD, they IS beer trays, duh.

Just looks at ALL dis stuffs just fur me!

 I do loves stuffs!

I even gots me a purty scarf.

I thinks I looks ravishin' in it.

 

 And...

ERMAGAWD, I gots POOP BAGS...way fun just to plays with 'em than to put my poos in.
I thinks my poops is treasures so why would anybuddy wanna bag 'em up?

YAY! I gots me one of these doxie tube steak cutter things.
I thinks it looks like me.

I hopes mum will lets me use a knife.

I nevers founded da beer.
but....

...I go looks again just in case.

Thank you Frankie and Ernie fur my pressie stuffs.
I LOVES IT ALL!
Mum thanks ya'll too cuz her says it will entertain me fur awhile.

Puddles

HAPPY BIRFDAY to MY GIRL

Today is My Girl's 11th birfday.

Her is my best furiend furevers.

Her loves me fur all I is and no matters what I does.

And I loves her withs all my heart and more.

Since I will celebratin' such a special day, I will be unavailable.

Dis is My Girl...

 ...hers is growin' up so fast.

 Kerazy Lady said I had to include Brudder Albert.

 I was sick dis day

 Her is gonna make her mark on da world I just knows it.

Puddles...I loves you Girl and Happy Birfday!!!!!

My Labor Day

Well hellos kids!

Since Monday was Labor Day I decided to gives mum da

day off cuz her works so hard fur me.

BWHAHAHAHAHA...dats SO NOT true.

It was really cuz dad was home and him has a tendency to kink

up da routine.

But mum did howevers go to da gym on Monday mornin'.

When hers came home dad said to hers dat sumptin' was wrong

withs my eye. So mum came to looks at me and hers was all like...

"HOLY CRAP! WHY DID YOU NOT CALL ME TO TELL ME

SHE WAS HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION?"

Yes, folks...I had me anudder allergic reaction!

I has no photos but I drew some fur ya'll.

See my eye?

It was swollen shut and my head was swollen AND da side of my mouf.

And by da way, I is no kitteh but I is not good at drawin' Puddles whiskers.

Mum not remembers da dosage of my Benadryl so hers haded to call da

vet's wife at home cuz da clinic was closed...you know, it bein' a holiday

and all. If they hadded been opened then I would had nevers had a reaction.

Anyways, her said I needed 2.5 ml.

Mum gave it to me...I drinks it out of a medicine cup.

Then her called back and da vet said I needed 2.5 ml more cuz I be specials.

So then I tooks me some more Benadryls.

Then I went outside to gets some fresh airs.

There I was with one eye and drugged up on Benadryls.

Dat SOOOOOO not stops da Puddles from huntin' some squirrels.

I seened me some squirrels out of my one good eye!

I crouched down in my stalkin' position...then I tooks off, flyin' off da deck

afters da squirrels...then I yelled back at mum...

"LOOK MUM...ONE EYE!!!!!!"

Sees, I can even hunt withs one eye!

I just glad no trees was in front of me...hehehehehe!

Mum says there was only one squirrel but I knows good and well I seen three of 'em...

...cuz da Benadryl tolded me there was three squirrels.

needless to say, they gotted aways.

So dat was my Labor Day, it wasn't so bad cuz I haded a nice nap afters all dat.

Puddles...off to buy stock in Benadryl.