My Pretend Beauty Salon Day

Hellos ya'll! Ya'll remembers my Brudder Albert?

Okays well, while mum was being occupied yesterday,  he graciously agreed to play withs me.

We played pretend beauty salon.

It was fun.

Dis Brudder Albert, he don't blog much cuz he not entertaining likes me.

(And fur your informationals...I write all my own material furs da blog)

Brudder gaves me a pretend baff.

Uh Brudder, your breaf stinks...BLAHHHH!!!

Then I hads an idea....

I wanted my hairs brushed.

 At furst brudder wouldn't brush me cuz he said I don't haves no hairs to brush but I says "do too" then he said "do not" then I was all like "uh huh" and yadda yadda yadda.

I gives him evil eye fur talking bout my hairs.

But he brush me anyways cuz he loves me.

See dis me befores.....

And dis me afters....

Yea okays, I knows what ya'll be thinking...Hubba Hubba!

Uh dat's what ya'll was thinking wasn'it?

(And nuttin to doos withs da fact dat it be's da same foto...shhhhh!)

Then it was Albert's turn....

He got long hairs so he gots to be brushed everyday.

Dis his hairs. Well, I mean it his AFTERS he was brushed.

I's gonna save dis and knit me a sweater furs da winter.

I know, I know...

I suppose to stay away from sharp objects(knitting needles...duh)...geez, I wonder why?

Prolly da same reason I not allowed to play withs power tools.

THE END

PEES: I haves no real idea what da purpose of dis post was...must go take my meds now.

Peace Out,

Puddles

I'll Tell Ya Wha'ts Going On

Okays, as some of ya'll know...and if you don't know then you has to go to dis blog to understand...mum was rescued by da Lucy dat be working at da Verizon.

Hers even be on da billboards ya knows. 

And ironically, them billboards be on da side of da road where mum had her flat tire.

Lucy to da rescue.

Well da Lucy was on her lunch break and hads an impawtent meeting to attend...mum hads to accompany Lucy to da meeting.

Come to find out, Lucy be meeting up withs da Elgin Pugs mom at a place called a  kare-e-okie bar. Believes me, it wasn't no meeting of da minds.

Bur before long mum was Hammer Timing  it (I know, ya'll thoughts mum was a prude in da before foto)

and Lucy was breaking it down along side mum. Oh da Elgin Thugs mom, her be singing da rhyme

Break it down! (Nice pants, Hammer) Stop, Hammer time!

Every time you see me

The Hammer's just so hype

I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic

Now why would I ever stop doing this?

With others making records that just don't hit

I've toured around the world, from London to the Bay

It's "Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo Hammer"

And the rest can go and play

Okays, I speed it up furs ya.
Mum borrowed da Lucy's Hoofheld and somehow ththeres was a mix up.
You know, mum thoughts her gaves it back to Lucy and Lucy thought mum gaves it back too.

Well, I found Lucy's boyfuriend and I gaves da Hoofheld back to him.
His name is Mr. Wilbur Ed but he goes by da name of Mr. Ed.
Lucy, your boyfuriend has your phone and he is calling you as I blog dis.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

Ring Ring Ring...Lucy, can you hear me?

Ooooooh, I kills myself!

Bwhahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

THE END

Peace Out,

Puddles

HAPPY BIRFDAY PENNY!

HaPpY biRfDaY pEnNy!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is Mrs. Frankie Furter's Birfday.

Ain't hers just beautifuls?

Her is my distant cousin.

Puppy Penny-2007

Hers Gotcha Day- Febuary 5, 2009

2nd Birfday-August 28, 2009

Penny, I want to wish you a  Happy Birfday from da bottom of my heart!

To dis day I will nevers furget da furst time I met you and Ruby.

Ya'll was da second comment I had on dat very furst day we blogged and became our fourth follower.

We has been furiends ever since.

Thank you fur your furiendship and good times in Blogville.

Your relative,

Puddles

The Post Mum Is Making Me Do About Whitney & a Pressie Fur Khyra

We had a breakthrough yeasterday. I talkin bouts withs sissy Whitney. Most of ya'll knows her is kinda likes me...you knows, kinda shy.

(Bwhahahahaha...oh dat makes me laugh...me, SHY!)

Dat why her don't nevers blog.. Her be's shy.

Anyways, crazy lady mum is MAKING me show ya'll dese fotos of ME and Whitney playing.

Because it was sumptin dat has nevers evers taken place in her year of living heres.

(course mum gots all teary eyed dis so-called momentous event occur)

(que in canned heat here)

dat be's a wrestling term...hehehe...

yea, I hads to look dat one up on da net.

I's gonna gets you sissy

Wheres you at sissy?

 I can't sees you...you be's outta focus

Hang on ....I has to edit dis next fotograf........

LA-DEE-DEE-DA-TRA-LA-LA.......

okays you can looks now

Hads to cover ups my goods.

dam, looks at da teeffies on hers.

Oh noooooo...her went in furs da take down!

And then we has a clean finish

okays, gives me hug sissy, it's overs. Nows get off my blog.

And last but not least.

Yesterday was Khyra's Gotcha Day.

I looked furs sumptin real special fur hers...I looked alllll overs town, plowed through cat-a-logs 

and I finally found it.

Yes siree!

Soon as I figures out how to mail it I do dat right speedy likes.

Does ya'll think hers will like it?

Happy Belated Gotcha Day Khyra!!!!!!!

(I posted dis last cuz I didn't want da pikture to shows up in

everbuddies dashboard. See, I do think sometimes)

The End

Peace Out,

Puddles

To Tank on YOUR BARKDAY

HaPPy bARkDAy TAnK!!!!!

Today is your day and I wrote a little song fur ya!

You say it's your birthday

It's my birthday too, yeah

They say it's your birthday

We're gonna have a good time

I'm glad it's your birthday

Happy birthday to you.

Yes we're going to a pally party

Yes we're going to a pally party

Yes we're going to a pally party

I would like you to dance (Birthday)

Take a cha-cha-cha-chance (Birthday)

I would like you to dance (Birthday)

Dance

I would like you to dance (Birthday)

Take a cha-cha-cha-chance (Birthday)

I would like you to dance (Birthday)

Dance

You say it's your birthday

Well it's my birthday too, yeah

You say it's your birthday

We're gonna have a good time

I'm glad it's your birthday

Happy birthday to you.

*I gotta say, thank you fur alls da laughs and thanks furs being my furiend.... I think

In honor of your Barkday, I gots you sumptin special fur your day

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

(You can thank me withs $20s and $50s)

And dis too....................

Stick it up on your bloggie withs pride.

(I likes to sticks 'em ups with duct tape but, you can use whatevers you like)

(Seriously dis here I specifically asked da owner if you could haves it)

THE END

Peace Out,

Puddles

Da strangest thingy

Hellos ya'll I was awarded a most strange award from Molly Pops. I liked it so much dat I didn't want to gives it away but, mum said I had to.

So, heres what ya need to know bouts it.

"The 'Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits' award is given to only the strangest of folk, and as the recipient of such you are deemed very strange indeed.

Congratulations!

Now you must go forth and celebrate the strangeness of friends (and strangers - strangers are always allowed) by nominating blogs run by strange folk. *Beware, some people don't like you to refer to them as strange…Try to avoid them if possible."

Of course, as with any award, there are some rules: (blah, blah, blah)

1. Add the logo of the award to your blog post.

Did dat

2. Add a link to the person who awarded it to you (don't mess with strange people).

Did dat too!

3. Nominate seven other blogs telling us why you think the recipient is strange enough to deserve the award.
*** I chose 8 cuz dis is MY blog and I make my own rules.

Alien-he wallpapered his spaceship withs fotos of ME
Minna Krebs-her needs no explaining

George da Lad-any doggie dat likes to climb stairs is strange
Martha and Baily-uh, cuz they has a scarecrow dat likes to blog
Sam and Pippen- they just Sam and Pippen
Tank- he just adores my new header foto, keeps coming back to looks at it
Tales and Tails- they be's da most beautiful greyhounds and german shepard evers
Bonny and Hector- they be my new furiends

4. Leave a message for those nominated on their blogs.

Good grief, give me a second...

5. And, if you email catephoenix(at)gmail(dot)com and tell her you've received the award for your strangeness, she'll enter you in the biggest kick-ass Strange Men competition ever. Details over at strangemeninpinstripesuits.com

(click on the award link on the home page).

And here is a foto of me to gets you through da day......

Ain't I da most evil gorgeous thing you evers did see

THE END

Peace Out,

Puddles

Titleless Tuesday

Everyday we I eat at 5:45 on da dot.

I is very schedule oriented doggie.

Well, it's 5:45 and I sit and wait and I is starving famished hungry.

Waiting

waiting

waiting

waiting.....

Now it's 5:45:30

and I is officially starving

(pay no attention to them black blobs, they is just fur decoration)

still waiting.....

5:46

I'm getting weak

I must lay down

somebuddy help me. I'm getting weak...and faint.

5:46:30

I can't take it anymore

Oh, I thinks I'm gonna.....

......I'm gonna pass out!

SPLAT!

(yea, mum actually took fotos of me passing out...and then hers laughed bout it. Oh it gets betters....hers EVEN called me a drama queen)

I takes applications fur new peoples to be owned by, yours truely...

that would be me, Puddles

Be owned by a doxie today....and watch your life change furevers.

(I likes chicken, liver, pork, steak, and lamb).

THE END

Peace Out,

Puddles

MOnday

Happy Monday everybuddy!

Furst, I want to wish Jack a Happy Birfday...he is 2 years old today. If you haven't had a dose of Jack yet then go now! Don't be shy.

Okays, now I gets to my post.......................

I've told da little girl befores bouts da "doggies and da kittehs"

but hers brung it up again.

Said she too young last time we hads conversation.

So I explain to hers again why I was ceremoniously gutted spayed.

I said, " little girl, dats what they do to girlies to keeps them healthy, keeps some cancers away, and to prevent unwanted hoodlums puppies".

But then her says, "Oh Puddles but it would be wonderful to have your puppies".

Then I says," Sorry chicklet, ain't gonna happen:.

But just imagine.............

WARNING: View at your own risk

may cause nightmares,

paralysis,

sea-jures,

and/or but limited to

involuntary spasms

or tics

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

{Ooooooh, my very own little army}

Seriously, who would want a Puddles puppy anyways?

I mean they gorgeous and all but.....

THE END

Peace Out,

Puddles

On Our Ways To Da Wedding

Goooood Mornin' ya'll! It' me Preacher Puddles and I's off to da wedding ( and an FYI: I do weddings, baptisms, and bark mitzvahs, I do not currently do hoomans cuz da cost of da ordination was more expensive and I din't haves a coupon fur dat).

Sallie and Alien were forced volunteered to provides some of us withs his spaceship to gets us to da wedding on time. And me being da official officiant of da ceremony, I just couln't be late.

Sallie and in their flight get ups....

...and dun dun dun(that was suppose to bes a drumroll)

da spaceship...it's really a UFO but we calling it a spaceship so we don't hurt hurt Alien's feelilngs.

While Alien and Sallie was on his way to get me I had my train sent to get  Zona

I was so freaking excited cuz I gets to drive da spaceship waiting patiently in my yard.

Once I was picked up I gots to drive. Ya'll might wanna buckleup and wear helmets furs da remainder of da flight...hehehe! Did anybuddy happen to brings a map by da way?

Ummmmm...I gots no idea what these buttons do. Let me see what dis one does.

Oh dat was a fun button. I just beamed up Minna, Lucy, and Ditto

Our next mission was to pick up Maggie Mae and since hers gots a big yard I knew it was gonna be easy peasy to land.

"They're here, they're here...bye mom"

Then we were offs to Chicago to gets Pip from his super secret underground location.

But then I gots a garbled message on da UFO spaceship transmitter. Alls I could make out was "poly-ticks" and "no money left". I felt bad, thinking he had lots of ticks and no monies.

Thought maybe he was a stray.

He gaves me directions and I beamed him up.

Yes, da White House relocated. Don't ya'll watch da news?

Dis who we picked up. Does ya'll know him?

Says he goes by da name Blogagofsfaknfjvich...from Chicago. Say he furiend of Pip's.

But I gots da feeling he ain't suppose to leave da country.

Next we was on our ways to pick up Asta in New York city. Her was waiting on da rooftop fur us...withs her gazillion pressies furs da wedding...and fur some reason her felt da need to covers da roof top in marshmellows furs me crash landing.

Yes, da spaceship can be morphed into different colors and shapes...just along with me here.

Then we gots all da rest of our passengers...ya'll just didn't see me opick them up cuz I was super fast,

but I did picks them up. We did a little mingling and chit chatting.

Dis heres is da purple room in da spaceship

me, Josie and Anakin, Maggie Mae, Lilac, Phantom, Alien, and Mayzie

Dis is da green room and Yea, Lilac brought hers fan.

Molly, Izzy, Asta, Zona, Holly, Lucy, Ditto,Minna, Ciara, Sallie, Thunder, and Pip

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Oh dis is fun

Here we is just hanging our heads out in da open wind.

Molly, Minna, Pip, Izzy, me, Alien, Mayzie, Zona, Josie, Anakin

Wait...hang on, I shows you da otherside of da spaceship.

Maggie Mae, Francine, Sallie, Indiana, Lilac, Ciara, Holly, Asta, Phantom, and Thunder

And finally we has met our destination.....

....and I managed to gets us heres all safe and sound...well 'cept furs dat lampost I tooks out back in Chicago but, we ain't gonna talks bout dat.

We sees ya'll at da wedding where I wills perform my furst ritual wedding ceremony.

click here to go to da wedding

Disclaimer: the use of Blagojevich has no representation of my political views, he was merely  used as an inside joke.

THE END

Peace Out,

Preacher Puddles

A Trashy Friday Post

Oh...ummm...hi theres....

I was just looking furs my contact lenses...yea, dats it.

{Warning: don't try dis at home unless you knows without a doubt you can get yourself out.}

*

PEES: I apologize greatly furs not being in Blogville yesterday, I was busy working out transportation plans furs da wedding dis weekend

and I has a post tomorrow to proves it.

Don't furget da wedding of da century will be tomorrow at 2pm

Click here to go to da wedding blog

THE END

Peace Out,

Preacher Puddles

Thank You OP Pack

Hey, it's ME, Puddles. And ya'll all thoughts my birfday was overs...

well I gots MORE stuffs to show from da mailman.

Actually he just brought it to me, it wasn't FROM him.

It is actually from Ciara, Thunder, and Phantom from da OP Pack.

ME...on da table looking sweet and waiting and waiting to...open my stuffs.

 Dat mades me so happy dat sent little ol' me a birfday pressie.

They liiiiikes me...hehehe!

And just looks at da purty wrapping.

Purty colors...and ribbons...Oh my!

Dats my butt withs my purty packages.

(Didn't want ya'll to furgets my good side)

LOOK! Would ya just looks at what I gots.

It's a vanilla smelling ball withs ears and it smell deeee-lish.

I shows you da dog in a minute.

Here aaaaall MY loot!

And it's all mine.

{Huh, What mum?You're kiddin? OP momma said dat in da card?}

Okays, ummmm...

yea, apparently Op momma wrote in da card dat I gotta shares my uberly awesome treats withs brudder and sissy. See her knows me to well...hehehe!

Yum Yum Yum!!!

They even has sprinkles. I we gots donuts and bones withs icing and sprinkles.

And look at dis! It's special.

See dis doggie? He has 16 squeakies in him.

Dats right, 16 squeakies. Just imagine da beautiful orchestra.

My mum looooves him just as much as I do...hehehe!

Okays, maybe not.

(and bouts dat recovery fur my hoarding issue....I'll start at a much later date. No sense in being perfect)

Thank you so very much to da OP Pack fur my wonderful birfday pressies. Ya'll is so sweet to me and I pro...oh dis is hard to say...I pro...I promise to share da treats withs Albert and Whitney.

The End

Peace Out,

Puddles