Wednesday, May 30, 2012

my butt

I thoughted long and hard whethers or not tells ya'll bouts my weekend but then I decided I could makes it fun and inappropriate so why not?
Oh and if you be eatin' right nows...I wouldn't if I was you.

Wells, I wasn't feelin' good overs da weekend and mum said I was acting weird...
...or weirder than normal.
Weirder than normal?
Well dat sounds stoopid.
I wouldn't do nuttin', wouldn't play, wouldn't hunt, wouldn't act likes me spazzy perky self.
So da peeps was concerned cuz alls I wanted to do was lay around and dat is soooo NOT me.

See...I not feels good. But My Girl consoled me.

But mum bein' a total genius wondered if it just might be my butt glands.
Or geez, maybes it was cuz I was lookin' at my butt and not just cuz it be purties but cuz it hurted.
 Yea genius she is not.

Hurt butt but my aint it da grandest thing you evers did see?

I not be a scooter so sometimes hers not knows when I needs my butt expressed and her just takes me to da vet and lets them decide and whatnot.

So of course da Vet clinic was closed on Memorial Day. Who closes a VET clinic on a holiday? Dats when everything happens...duh.
Well da gym was opened so mum went to do her thang...yep, even though I was feeling terribly deathly ills hers went!
But good golly...guess who was theres?
Yep, da Vet Man!
Dam him.
Dats why peoples shouldn't go to da gym.

He telled da kerazy lady hows to do my butt glands and her come and her freakin' DID it!
Her putted me in da baff withs warm water and hers DID it!!!!!!
I thoughted I was gonna melt in dat water.
OMG...can ya'll believes my weak tummy mum did it!
I am still shocked.

Anyways, I was REALLY clogged up and I'll spare ya'll da details cuz da kerazy lady still be havin' nightmares from it.

Her did says hers WILL NEVERS EVERS do dat again though...cuz her still can't eat nuttin'...hehehehe.
And hers only did it cuz I was too miserable and hers couldn't stand to sees me dat way...ahhhh, sweetness....NOT!
Hehehehe...da things da hoomans will do furs us.
I just be glad her didn't break me.

Until next time furiends...
peace, love, and clean butts.


Kerri said...

Sounds like it would have been worth finding the nearest emergency vet ...

The Daily Pip said...

Would you believe that I too had my butt expressed this weekend!!! But you better believe my assistant had nothing to do with it!! Not in a million years would she try such a thing. Your mom is pretty brave if you ask me.

Your pal, Pip

P.S.: I am a scooter, by the way case you were wondering.

Dexter said...

I can only imagine. My Grandpa Angus was whatchyercall a "shooter" and it was a big har har har at the vet that if he went in for the butt job they would put the new vet or tech on it and momma would always say "watch out, he's a shooter" and they would be all "whatever" and then get a big old squirt all over themselves (well, it taught them to keep their mouths shut anyway).

I think your mom is very brave to help you out and clearly the Puddles is her #1 priority.


My Mind's Eye said...

OH MY WORD Puddles you do have a way of 'expressing' yourself!! Sorry Pun intended!!

Dear Mum of Puddles...God Bless you for taking care of business in an emergency!! You'll surely get a halo for that one.

My daughter did that one time to her first cat. Afterwards she said there are a few things in life really worth paying for and that was one of them.

Puddles you have one fine Mum so be nice to her. We are glad this story had a happy, peaceful ENDING!!
Hugs Madi your BFF and her Mom

Unknown said...

As the good song says , 'The Things You Do For Love'!
Best wishes Molly

What Remains Now said...

WOW...Your mom is super brave and a hero. I hope I never have to do that. My question...was it easy? Not that I'll do it if it's "easy." Just curious.

My Daily Inspiration quote on Monday was for you, Miss Puddles.

Unknown said...

Now that I just threw up my lovely iced kickasskarimochalatte all over myself I will comment.

Can you imagine doing that on a dog Fred's size?! WTF SCARY.

I feel bad for your mom, I wonder if there is a hallmark card for having to express your dogs anal glands to aid in the horror a dog owner goes through...hmmmm I might be on to something!

Im going to nominate your mom for a hero award.

ShellePenn said...

Puddles you should learn to "Express Yourself". Mom's "Love Shouldn't Hurt" is my motto.

We know "Baby Got Back", but "Take Care of Yourself" always. "There is Only One You" and we "Can't Do Without You Baby"!

If you need a reminder, just call me on your "Pink Cellphone" or on the "Payphone".

"Smothered in Hugs" and "Kiss Kiss"(es... had to reach to use that Chris Brown song, but oh, well)
Milo and Dixie
(Mom is not gonna read any comments you post today... =D)

Pippen said...

What? No re-enactment pictures? What a BUMMER that is!

Sam and Pippen

houndstooth said...

Bwaaaaa ha ha ha! Oh, there are many tears of mirth here. Mom says that when they had Treat, she had the same problem, and they looked it up on the internet and figured out how to do it, but after that one time, they decided it was worth whatever money the vet wanted to do the procedure in the office!


P.S. I think that shade of green is lovely for a bedroom!

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

OMD So NOW your mom is gonna be the BUTT of Every Blogville Joke. Her EXPRESSION of love has taken on a HOLE new MEANing.

PeeS Was she wearing those hooge YELLOW Playtex Living Gloves?

I just hope that you don't have any nighthorses after this horror.

Agnes B. Bullock said...

Only you, Puddles, would have such an adventure over the weekend!

GOOSE said...

I just don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. The mental pictures I have in my head just won't go away. THEY WON'T GO AWAY! Make it stop! I guess the only way to get the pictures out of my head is to drink them away. I sure hope that works. All I can do is try.

ShellePenn said...

I think tomorrow I need to posteth a new Puddles Playlist. :) (Especially since I am singing that blessed Payphone song again and this time I did it to myself!!)

Shelle's "on a payphone... trying to call home... all of her change she's" shoved in her ears but can't stop the music....

The Ladies of Beaglebratz Manor said...

You mean your mom ain't eatin'NUTHIN????? Wunder if that cood b sum kinda new diet program? Our mom cood looze a few poundz BUTT we wood haf tu find anuther doggy fur her tu werk on - we Beaglebratz ain't gonna volunteer fur this.
Shiloh'n Shasta

Anonymous said...

My mom has too done that to me - she hates it, she says the smell is terrible. But she does that for me ❤

The Websters said...

Your mom is a hero. I can't believe she did that!

Did she wear gloves?

So did you feel instantly better?

Anyway, she should teach classes or sell a tutorial or something. I'm sure she could make some $$ off of this somehow.

Now that you're better should we meet up for a beer? I'm thinking Nashville is probably about half way. Then we could listen to that music live!


Patrice and Higgins said...

OMD, my mom would have passed out!! Your mom is so brave, I is just so glad that she didn't take pictures of it!! If my mom did something like this, I would have picture of my butt plastered all over the internet...


Posie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Posie said...

(posted ma commint twiyce, sorrieee)
EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuurgh Puddles, I fink dat ees da grosssiest fing I has evir evir herd owf in ma entiyre 2 years 6munths 2 weeks n 5 days n 14 hours n 12 minutes n 16 seckunds ALIVE! EERRURGHH sum fings shoot be kept to dem selves heehee!

Now ma mummer is confused... and I iz sorry BUTT if yoo putt up sutch posts, yoo will expekt bizar n perhaps grimm kwestchuns!! But mummer wonts to know if da scotting/shooting refirs to when da vet CLEANS yoo owt n da SHTUFF comes owt, ooooorr.. if eet refirs to da doggy sittin rubbin derr bum own da floor/ scoottin ovir da floor?! Kus when ma Uncel Wes needs to EXPRESS HIMSELF (heehee! He wiyll hatte me fur sayin anyfin abowt eet! heeheee!) he pulls his BUTT in a scootin fashun ovir da carpit!!! heehee! So, whitch ees et!?

I feel now sickk, so I is gonna go n nutt fink abowt yoor BUTT fur a whilte befure ma nummynoms tiyme! Love n likkers,


Brian's Home Blog said...

Well at least you are feeling better, that is the important thing! Butt of course it is!

The Heartbeats said...

Was that the big boom we heard? We thought it was fire crackers...


Remington said...

WOWZERS! I can't believe she did that!

rottrover said...

And you say you're not good with titles... We think your mom is very, very brave and loves you very much!

-Bart and Ruby

Linda said...

Thanks for the warning I finished my coffee first before reading this.
All I can say is ouch did it hurt? and that is so gross. I hope you feel much better now and tell your mom she is my hero.

♥ Cinnamon

Corbin said...

I had a problem this weekend with another private area... not my pooper. I've been debating on whether or not to tell the blog - BOL!
PS. Only if you win.
PPS. Is it your birthday yet? I'm patiently waiting for you to get older.

Millie and Walter said...

Your mom is a hero for helping you out when she couldn't get you to the vet. I am fortunate to have never had that type of problem in any of my dogs. Glad you are feeling better now.


Bassetmomma said...

Eeewwwwww! What a brave Momma you have! You owe her big time for doing this service for you Puddles! Our vet showed me how to do it with our late basset Barney and I just said forget it, the vet can do it! I am so glad your pretty little butt feels better!

Angels Amber and Max DaWeenie and Mom said...

OMD.....Me not nose who was da bravest....your Mom fur doin dis awful ting or YOU fur LETTING her do it!

Anonymous said...

What a trooper hers is, mom said NOWAY, go eat more grass and find a plunger.


Matilda the Boxer said...

Oh wow, your momma really really REALLY loves you. I don't think my momma would do that for me. Well... maybe for me, 'cause she loves me so much. But not anyone else!

Ruby said...

OMD!!! Your ma is the bravest woman I have met in a looong time! Sometimes I get problems in my hinnie too, but not too bad. When my ma sees me lickin' she knows it's time for the vettie. She will NOT do it......unless she really had to, like your ma. So brave, that one!
So very glad your feeling better though!


Two French Bulldogs said...

Butt glands are nutty, but we are not letting any buddy touch them. Glad you feel better
Benny & Lily

Matilda the Boxer said...

Puddles, the puppies were named WallE and Marty because they were abandoned at a Wal-Mart! But I will definitely suggest that someone name a foster dog PUDDLES very soon. :)

Golden Woofs! SUGAR said...

Woof! Woof! I totally familiar with that BUTT Expressions. Your 1st photo looks like you lost weight. Lots of Golden ALOHA n Woofs, Sugar

Cole said...

Puddles, your poor posterior! Your mom deserves lots of kissies for taking care of your bum for you. And that picture of your girl cuddling you is PRECIOUS!

Scooter said...

Hey Puddles!
Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that your tushie was in a twist! It's definitely a cute caboose, but icky yuck to that whole procedure. Your Mom deserves a GREAT BIG DRINK for that! BWAR HAR HAR

Bobbie said...

Oh Puddles... LOL! I'm still laughing!! The pictures. The commentary. You are too much...!
The picture of you and your girl is priceless!! And then there's the first picture.. Oh Puddles, your eyes say it all.
Gracie has had this problem before and it pretty much takes care of itself but boy is she smelly for a while ... woooo eeee.! That karazy lady must really love you to go to such lengths to make you comfortable. The closest I've ever come to anything this disguesting is when my german poodle Scooter swallowed the silk border of a baby blanket and I had to pull it out of her butt while she yiked (trying to do a poop).. oh.. and it was over a foot long. Ugh!
Anyways... hope you're feeling much better Miss Puddles. (oh, and your title made me laugh before I even got here to your blog)

Anonymous said...

Good grief...your mum is CRAZY to do that! I did it to Riley once and was gagging and gagging...and gagging! Gross. I agree with you--why does the vet close on holidays, EVERYTHING happens then!

Hope mum can eat again soon...! ;)

Elyse and Riley

Sketching with Dogs said...

There's devotion for you - you know they love you when they clean your butt. Needless to say (somebody) hasn't done anything like that for us - thank Dog Almighty. We would probably never walk again if she did. Hope you are feeling a butt better now Puddles!
Dip Bridge and Elliot x

jen said...

Awwww, you girl was consoling you! That is so sweet!

If I lived closer I would of came and squeezed your little butt! -I do that for a livin ya know!
Hope your Mom is recovering from all that stink and grossness!

Angel Junior, Orion and Sammy said...

Meowm says there is not enough mental bleach to get that picture out of her head.

We are glad you are feeling better.

Dachshund Nola said...

BOL BOL BOL oh my eyes are bleeding!

Unknown said...

Bet your Mom won't be kissin your butt for quite some time! Anyways, hope that never happens to me! Feel better little friend!
Lovies, Miss mIndy

Asta said...

Oh Puddles
I cooldn't believe my eyes that younhad to do that on yoow Memowial day
( yoo shoowe have a bootiful butt ,( but I di gwess)
Anyhooo, whatevew yoo say, yoow Mom pawson shoowe must love yoo to do that (Mommi is queezy just thinking about it)
Can yoo believe I've nevew had my butt squeezed? Do yoo suppose I'll just splode someday?

So glad yoo feels bettew
Smoochie kisses

georgia little pea said...

Dear Puddles, your mama is brave. My Typist is chicken shit about squeezing my butt but My Cushion does it for me....get this! ... ONCE EVERY WEEK! It's weird that this is happening because I am a BigDog! (I think my humans mean to ask my Dr Dog about it the next time I see him.)

Yes, although I might look quite perfect, I can be anal (haha) and if he doesn't do it, I just squirt on stuff. (I hope you ain't eatin' nuthin' right now). We call him The Gloved One around here. HAHA!

Anyway, The Typist has documented it WITH EMBARRASSING PICTURES many times because she's not well mannered like your mama.

OH! The Typist says your mama is definitely a professional photographer and some kind of creative person because your blog is Very GoodLooking and those first 2 pictures are to die for. I think she's jealous.

That's it then. Big hug. Your friend, Georgia x




That wuz horribull.
We is all so glad yoo surbibbed.
And dat yoo is feelin better.


Bella Roxy & Macdui said...

you MUST have been feelin' bad to let her do that!!! Did the vet charge her double for that advice....or are you such a good and constant client that he gave you a freebee? BOL!

We're glad everything came out (pun intended) okay!

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & roxy

Duke said...

Your mom felt bad for you and she helped you, Puddles! Bless her!

Love ya lots
Mitch and Molly

Backcountry Brodie said...

Did your mom like hack and gag and say EWWWWWWW at the wonnerful aroma that emits from butt glands? Hey, you need green papers? You could hire youself out as a new weight loss program. Here be your slogan: "Express my butt glands and eat no more." No need to thank me, just cut me in on the profits.

Ziggy Stardust said...

Puddles, I do love you so I am not even gonna be tempted to make a joke, just this once. Your Mommy is pretty cool to have done that for you. I can't stand the thought of you being sicky so I am glad the whole incident is behind you now(oops sorry, that one slipped). Your girl is about the cutest girl in the world and you can see how much she loves her Puddles. I hope you are all better now and back to your Puddlyduddlyalicious self.

Loveys Sasha.

P.s. I hope my butt doesn't break

The Daily Pip said...

Did I tell you that the whole bee photo shoot was supposed to be outside ...but my assistant was afraid I would get over-heated so instead she moved the flower pots from the back porch into the living room.

Think you might be right about the two crazy ladies needing a new hobby!

Your pal, Bumble-Pip

Lovable Lily said...

No if's, and's or butt's about it! It had to be done Puddles and who better to do it ~ right? My Mommy does ours all the time. Yes it is yucky and stinky and gross and makes you wanna yak up your lunch, butt Mommy loves us and says its too spensive to have the Vet Lady do it. So the Vet taught Mommy and now she's a pro. Butt, I don't get what the bathtub does for ya!

So glad you're better now.

Your girl is such a great comforter!

Lily Belle

Maggie Mae and Max said...


Your sweet momma is so very brave, my mom says no way, no how would her EVER do that fur one of us. ;)

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae and Max

Barbara said...

Oh, yer mom is burave!!

But I am not so sure I beliebe da story. I means, ware are da pikturs? Dat wulda been piktur worthy event, right?

PS: Sending yer mom munny so she nebber has to do dat again.

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

Oh Puddles, we are all making puddles on the floor from laughing so hard, Sorry, we know that you were uncomfortable, but your poor Mom. No Mom should EVER have to do THAT. That is one stinking job:) We are pawsitive that is the last time she will ever do it.

Hope you got some relief - BOL.

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

booahboo said...

i think your momma is a supaheroooooooo... she she she is really concerned and love you to bits. She just had to go to the gym cos she knows the vet man is there.. hehhehehee...

glad you butts all clean now :)

booahboo said...

me scoot too sometimes... when i have not been to them grooming fellas. My groomer usually do me glands for me when they am the bathing me.. sometimes they put me in some papaya spa :D

woofs n licks,

Lorenza said...

Sure your mom loves you a lot!
I guess my mom would be sooo afraid to do it!
Glad you are much better!
Take care
Kisses and hugs

KB said...

Oh, Puddles, I'm so glad that your cerazy mom learned how to help you! See, going to the gym has benefits!

Fortunately, my husband is well-trained in the procedure... so I've never had to do it!

I'm glad that you're feeling better.

KB said...

I forgot. No, you may not have the lizard... you killer dog, you!

HELLO! said...

Oh your poor butt! Thank goodness mama helped you out with that. That can be some nasty business but as long as it helps you.
~Weinerful Gang~

pibble said...

Oh, golly, Miss Puddles. My Oliver feels for your butt. Not literally, of course. Well, I can't speak for him, but... I've had to do this for him, too, and I can tell you IT'S NOT FUN! So, give your mom a break. And let's hope she never has to do this again! Butttttt, we're glad you're all better now!

Declan said...

Bloody hell mate that sounds grim. Hope you got whiskey first for the pain.... Must make sure Mum doesn't read this or she'll be poking around my butt. Nasty! Deccy x

Enid said...

I am very proud of my BUT!!!
And I know that my CAT is.
Enid x

BordoggyTerrier said...

Erm, yerrs, erm, well done to Kerazy Lady - erm, well done to you Puddles and to everyone here who hath the strength within them to comment still after reading bout your ordeals!! - Mummy2Legs was eating cous cous - she finished it mind! - that's dedication, like your Kerazy Lady ey! - Erm, yerrrs, erm, not often words fail me! Well done to everybody (even the bath, for it too had an impawtant tactical role to play! - ha ha)! xxx

Sweet William The Scot said...

Puddles now did the Kracy Lady use the squeeze technique at the one and seven or did you get the soapy finger! Just be lucky you still have a butt.
Sweet William The Scot

Mary Lou said...

"Weirder than normal". I like that!! Sometimes I can be "weirder than normal", myself!! ;-}
I am glad you are feeling better!! And I'm proud of your Mum!! She was so brave!! ;-D
Love, Raelyn.... And Rose, my BEAUTIFULLY UNIQUE "Mystery Dog"!!

Lucy-Fur, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Yeah, um, every time we have that done at the vet, Mom tells our vet that no matter what he charges, he's not getting paid enough. (Amazing he hasn't raised our rates because of Mom's comment....) Mom would have totally gone to the ER vet. She's a wee bit squeamish that way. Glad you feel better, Miss Puddles!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

HH and The Boys said...

Ouch and glad you're better....

pawhugs, Max

Zona said...

Okay, I know that was most... unpleasant but OMD.. you have the MOST AMAZING MUM!!!! All of us over here are very much impressed!!!

Glad you're feeling better!


Kari in Alaska said...

well that does prove she loves you

Stop on by for a visit

Berts Blog said...

My Vickie used to work with the vets and she says she can't think of anything grosser than what your mum did for you. That she is so cool cause she loves you enough to do that.

Did she walk around for an hour washing her hands every time she came across a sink. Cause it can really leave a special smell on you for a long long time.

But I am so glad you are feelin better. It must have been a total relief.

Scooter said...

Wow! Puddles, you have a brave mom. Dont think mine would do that, bol Glad that you are ok and survived the butt deal.


Corbin said...

Um, I've mentioned you in TWO posts in a ROW and you've just been ignoring me. That's it, not mentioning you EVER again.
PS. Starting the silent treatment, until your birthday. So, it better hurry up.

Anonymous said...

All these comments on your freakin' butt? Good grief.

Now how do I get that image out of my head so I don't have nightmares???

Oskar said...

Holy cow, your mom is a trooper! My mom person was gagging just reading about it, BOL!

Nubbin wiggles,

Mollie said...

okay...she does look mighty thin in that first picture, now that you mentioned it! Puddles, you need to eat some more squirrel stew, darling!

♥Mona + Prissy + Angel Weenie♥ said...

How gross was that. I'm having terrible flashbacks of the last time they did that to me.

Baby Girl