Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Anudder Post bouts My Purty Butt

Gooood Mornin' yall' or afternoon where evers ya'll lives.
Yesterday I went to da Vetatrician and since I has absolutely no cooth or dignity
what so evers I is gonna tells ya'll aaaaaaaall bouts my visit.

My butt was plugged up again and I was doin' da Butt Scootin' Boogie on da
floor (and gotted carpet burns on my tail in da process) and my Kerazy Lady
was all likes "Heck no you don't Skinny Minnie!"
Yea, dats me new nickname if you was wonderin'
...cuz I has losted some weight. I weighs 8.9 if anybuddy cares.
And then hers tolded me her was gonna gets to da
BOTTOM and RECTIFY da situation immediately.
hehehehe...I mades a punny joke.
I like punnies.

So hers threw placed me gently in da car and tooks off likes da kerazy lady hers is...

Then we gotted to da Vet and I was dragged in walked in struttin'
my stuffs and then da hooman workers was all yellin' my name and wantin' to pet me,
and oooohin' and ahhhhhin' all overs me. No, seriously they was.
Of course then they asked me what I had done to myself again.
Like WTF? I can't help dat I be a lemon dog. da torture chamber room I went.
 I tried to makes my escape by tip pawin' but they caughted me.
Darn they was some fast little boogers.

And then it was time...
 Sir, why you be groppin' me?

Yea, you thinks it was all nice and colorful likes da foto but truth be told it was more likes dis....
 Total horror I tells you!
(insert Twilight Zone theme song).

I was doomed.
 And speakin' of bein' uncooth...Kerazy Lady actually took a foto of dis.

(Does you has no ethics WOMAN?)

Don't furgets, I knows wheres you lives mister...MUAWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So then I gotted home afters dat ordeal and watched some teevee to recoop from da truama.

My butt feels much betters and it still be so purties.
Mum asked da vetatrician why my glands do dis and him said I was Puddles and I just weird.
I is da ONLY doxie mum has had dat has to has dis done.

entertaining fact 47394764: they tolded mum da more da glands be expressed, da more it has to be done so nows we has to be reeeeeal carefuls. So I say we just won't do it no mores....duh.



Dexter said...

Oh Miss Puddles, is there no other way? The horror, the indignity.


Unknown said...

Oh gosh Puddles! That is just awful! Feel better, forever!
Lovies, Miss Mindy

booahboo said...

What didya do this time Puds?? LOL! You must be a very very famous doxie girl at the vet :)

me don't like them anal thingy too... but when i am the scootings... its no good.

why are you the losing the weight girly?

booahboo said...

weight control.. happens to me too. She keeps saying i am fat.. too fat.

i am starving.

woofs n licks,

My Mind's Eye said...

Puddles my sweet adorable little Doxie friend we are sorry for your PIA. BUTT Lordy Mercy girlfriend give us some warning before you say things like "Sir, why you be groppin' me?"
Mom spit coffee at the 'puter, the coffee dripped on the keyboard and well it is just g r o s s!! Now my white paws are an ugly shade of coffee.
Pray tell did you lose weight, come July and my vet visit I'll probably need your secret.
Hugs from your BFFF,

Unknown said...

Hi puddles , I feel for you my friend , I feel for you!
Best wishes Molly

ShellePenn said...

You know... we are good friends and all that... but no. I don't wanna know all about your butt. (Milo has to have that done regular-like, too... Dixie never has a problem... perhaps you should change to Coors Light?)

Thank you for your kind words about N00Bs (as Reed has taken to calling him). Our first night went well... He is SooooOOooooOOo soft and easy to sleep with (I like non-touching dogs... just go to your corner and I go to mine and don't touch my legs while I sleep!!!)

8.9 pounds? You are wasting away to nothing. I think Milo's head weights 9 pounds.

Shelle, Milo, Dixie and Newby

Asta said...

Dawling Puddles
This is just too much to beaw fow a gowgoos lady like yoo
Gwopings and squeezings and such.
Do yoo thinks it's fwom all thos echeetoes and beews? Pawhaps, yoo could switch to my diet of goose gweese on bwead wif wine..all that stuff would just slide out instead of plugging yoo up ( sowwy fow the gwaphic content of this comment)
Smoochie kisses

houndstooth said...

Oooooh no! Mom said the first Greyhound who lived here had that problem and once it was so bad that the vet warned them it could have ruptured, which is an even worse and nastier problem!

And thanks for posting that picture of the "process"! Mom's stomach started turning so much that she gave me the whole last third of her cup of yogurt!


Bassetmomma said...

Horrible! Just horrible! Next time...ooops did I say that? Well, next time take some greenbacks to bribe those nasty vet peeps!

Backcountry Brodie said...

Ooooo. I would so not like anybuddy messing with my butt. When I woz a yungun, I used to get infekshuns coz I had wot is call a hooded vulva. That means eggstra skins wot keeps the airs out and lets cooties grow. The V-E-T told mom to shoot medicine up my lala and OMD, I was so not hasing any of that. Mom had to has a furrend come by to do the medicine shooting while mom held me, Bucking Bronco Shawnee, pinned against the wall and I kicked mom and gibbed her black, blue, purple, yellow and green legs. So anyways, mom told the V-E-T this was so no werking (hehehehehe) so I got me a butt lift, yes I did. The surgeon V-E-T did a nip/tuck and now I has a perky behind (in case you noticed) and no infekshuns no more. Well, anyways, sorry to go on about me but point is, I sooooo feel your pain gurlfurrend. Kick, I tell you, kick fur your life! (Kick HARDER coz you has little legs.)

Angels Amber and Max DaWeenie and Mom said...

Puddles....da next time you feels da urge to do da boot scootin boogy and you sees dat gleam in your momma's eye and her hand on da phone to call da dogter, jus' do like me does. Jus tell hers dat your BUTT ITCHES and you is scratchin it. And unless HER wants to scratch your butt for ya, jus to leave you do your ting!

AND.....WHY is you losing so much weight. You gettin skinny fur a weenie dog!!!!! You is goin from a nice SAUSAGE to one of dos skinny wittle breakfast franks!

georgia little pea said...

Dear Puddles,

I know how you feel because my butt has been posted for the whole world to laugh at many times. I now get expressed ONCE EVERY WEEK! That's right. My Cushion has learnt how to do it because they would go broke otherwise, and I always get a peanut butter bikkie after but I'm not sure it's worth it.

The Typist is oohing and aahing over your fascinating fact. This must be what's happening to me because they used to have to rectify (haha) my problem only once every 2 weeks. At the rate they're going, it might become a daily thing soon, like having brekkie.

As for your that like KILOS? surely you're not just 8.9 pounds! I think my left praw weighs more than that.

Please post more of this saga when you can so I know I'm not the only miserable stinky dog around.

Your friend, Georgia x

Patrice and Higgins said...

On good grief, the horror!! I feel for ya Puddles!


jen said...

Sorry that your butt is giving you more problems Puddles! Maybe you have an allergy? i guess they sometimes say that if you anal gland issues you could have an allergy. Or maybe your butt just wants attention.

Hey, I noticed whoever was expressing your anal glands was wearing jeans, your vet is pretty cool to wear jeans, he looks like he might be a looker too. Lucky you!

jen said...

Not that I was checking out your vet or anything:)))

A MilShelb Mom said...

Be careful! Once time I (Shelby) should have gotten that done and didn't and then my butt EXPLODED!! No, really, it did. I had to go to the emergency vet because it was on a Sunday. Ugh. No fun. Had to have surgery and Mom had to leave me there for a few hours! Yikes!
~Shelby (and Milly... who is laughing at both of us)

rottrover said...

Miss Puddles, that is the most perfect W-T-F??? look on your face ever! Did the Krezy bring the fancy camera to the vet's? she has no shame!! Course either do you!!

We love you, girl!

-Bart and Ruby

Matilda the Boxer said...

OMD, she actually took a pictures of that?!?! Your mom is just kerazy!

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

OMD OMD.... they didn't put the MODESTY SHEET over you?? OMD AGAIN .. they too PICTURES OF the HORROR? WHAT kind of treatment is THAT fur a girrrl of your station?

I just can not believe your life has taken this horrid turn.

Shawnee had a BUTT LIFT? WOW.. maybe YOU should consider that. Although I can not imagine how Yours could ever be Improved.

Millie and Walter said...

Dear Puddles, I am so sorry that you had to endure that torture. I bet it was quicker to have the Vet do it than your mom though. I love your photographic illustrations of this event.


Cole said...

Oh, Puddles! Your poor tushie! I agree - no more expressing them glands.

Pippen said...

For some reason we keep hearing Madonna singing 'Express Yourself'

Sam and Pippen

Marg said...

Oh No Puddles, not the rear end problems. That isn't any fun. Love you in that last picture, keeping your tail over those tender parts. Glad that is over. Have a great day.

Lovable Lily said...

Holy Toledo Puddles! You are taking after my sister Muffin! She gots the same problems as you do with her butts. Now Mommy does ours at home when she see's us doing the Butt Draggin' Shimmy on the carpet. Did they tell you to eat more fiber? We now gets canned pumpkin and lots of stringer beans too.

Maybe, just maybe it's that new diet that you're on ~ Hey I'm just saying you need more treats!!!!

Lily Belle

BordoggyTerrier said...

Paaw my dear friend we are barely recovered from your last expulsion shananagins, and here we go again, oh my rotten banana - mind as if that was not enough to nearly finish us off, reading about Shawnee's Hooded Vulva is! Here's to praying you, me and everybody else here is spared any more of this most sorry, sore situation! - I'm setting up a multinational prayer chain as we bark - you be needing all possible help, aid relief and support out there that exists my friend! x

Lovable Lily said...

Oh Jen... You were TOTALLY checking out that Vet in jeans.

Whew, sure is hot in here!

Lily Belle

GOOSE said...

Oh dear Puddles I can't even imagine what you had to endure. I shudder to think about it. I don't want to think about it. And to have it all photographed for all to see. Isn't there a law about such photos being taken? I was reading, or was it dreaming, that beer helps in situations like this. It helps in two ways. 1- it helps in preventing this procedure from being preformed (cleans ya out). And 2- if it must be preformed consumption several beers will help you forget it ever happened.

Unknown said...

Holy Crap. Your poor thing and your poor mom. I am proud of her for taking you to the vet man, which he looks prerry hot in the picture! Your mom said he does work out hahahaha.

I cant believe she took pictures. wow.

Hmmm maybe a little fiber in your diet might help?!

Congrats on eating baked cheetos instead of regular ones!

My Dog Sam - Ruptured Disk said...

Hi Puddles, well gee...that's not great. I'm sure the vet man gave your mom some suggestions on how to minimize the need to express your glands so hopefully that'll help.

Barbara said...

Dis is horribles! Howeber, Minnie and Jeep have been paying far too much attentions to their butts lately, so dey hab to go to da vet on Saturdays for butt checkin'.

Fingers crossed!

PS: Dat is one embarassin foto.

Declan said...

My heart goes out to you mate. Hoomans have no respect. I don't know which is worse this or the post about Corbin's lipstick incident! Will you ever be able to walk down the street again? Deccy x

Agnes B. Bullock said...

Puddles, the things that you do! However, you still have the purtiest butt in BLogville!~

Ruby said...

OMD! I am so sorry about your ordeal, Puddles! Why do mom's always have to take pics of our hinnie's? I know that they're cute and all, but really!
I'm sure glad that your fellin' better now.



Anonymous said...

Oh, the horror!! Your poor purty butt. You poor sad little Puddles. :( Glad you got the Butticure!

Elyse and Riley

Sketching with Dogs said...

At least she didn't take a picture of what came out of it, he he!
Dip used to have this problem a lot so the vet told Mum she needed more fibre to make the stools harder - what wooden chairs have to do with Dip's butt is a mystery.
Hope we aren't making any ass-umptions here!
Lets hope you don't need it doing too often, that would be a bummer.
Dip Bridge and Elliot x

Brian's Home Blog said...

I sure hope you don't have to go through that again, especially with the camera!

Mollie said...

Dear Kerazy Lady - Have you no shame?

Dachshund Nola said...

How DARE she take pictures of such a horrifying act! Call the ASPCA, that is abuse!

♥ Sallie said...

Poor, Puddles! What a terrible ordeal!

I used to think of Alien whenever I heard the Twilight Theme, but now I will think of your butt!

Wait. I don't know if that sounds right...

Oh, well. Glad it is over. Be well!


K9 Katastrophie said...

Oh my! You poor thing! You are much smaller than me.


Corbin said...

I like hearing about your butt. Hehe. I let the mom take over the blog yesterday - you should check it out if your eyes are feeling dry and scrachy.

Angel Junior, Orion and Sammy said...

Oh dears, we hope you don't have to have that done again for a looooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggg time! A longer time than you and your siblings all put together, end to end are!

We are glad you and your little cute buns are feeling better.

Duke said...

We can't believe that your mom posted such a personal picture, Puddles! We hope you never ever ever have to have that ever done again ever!

Love ya lots,
Mitch and Molly

Bella Roxy & Macdui said...

You do have a pretty butt--even if it doesn't work properly all the time!

You have quite a fan club there.

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

Maggie Mae and Max said...


It's all behind you now....hehehe... ;)

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae

Lorenza said...

I know how you feel. Remember my mom did the same thing publishing my picture of that horror???
I hope you will not need that again!
Take care
Kisses and hugs

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

Oh Puddles, you don't look too happy. But you sure do have a purty cute butt:)

Mom said that Dakota had anal gland issues too. One became so badly impacted she almost had to have surgery to have it removed - horrors. The vet said it is important (hope you don't mind our writing this)to have really good firm stools because that helps express the glands naturally from the pressure. Mom could try adding some fiber to your diet if your output is on the soft side:) Sorry for the graphic details.

Hope your bottom is all better for now.

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara,and Lightning

The Websters said...

We are gland, er glad, you're all butt, i mean, better. If that were me, I'd be tired. I bet you are pooped.

(don't tell anyone, but that was from master).

You look WAY too skinny! Tell your mom to stop playing with that camera and GET YOU SOME FOOD!


Tweedles -- that's me said...

Puddles- how embarrasing for you.
I hope your butt is feeling better by now.

Scooter said...

I cant believe she took a picture of it!! there no shame. Just wait, you can do the same thing when she has a butt problem huh??


Anonymous said...

I'm sooo sorry Puddles that you had to go to vet AGAIN!

But you know what - you sure are a beauty. A tiny bit on the skinny side but otherwise just gorgeous.

Ziggy Stardust said...

Puddles, I am sorry you had to suffer such torture, but I must say you do have a very pretty butt. I don't think any of your hairs got out of place either. You look so well behaved, I would have bit someone for sure. There would have been some hurting going down if it was me. I am very proud of you for being so brave. Did you at least get some poo on him or let out a bunch of toots?? He had it coming. I hope your butt stuff will be better now and we can go back to focusing on your beautiful face instead. "I like Puddles's butt and I cannot lie, you other bloggers can't deny, that when a dachs walks in with an itty bitty waist and a point tail in your face...yadda yadda, I can't think of anymore but you get the idea.

Loveys Sasha

pibble said...

No gloves?! Such a brave (and foolish) man. You do look a wee bit, um, horror-struck. Well, it's over now. Now, keep yer butt clean, missy!

Lucy-Fur, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

*sheesh* Some people will post ANYTHING on the interwebs! I can't believe your Mom took pictures of your humiliation and POSTED them! And while we didn't have the Twilight Zone theme in our heads at first, we did have the 'duh - Duh - DUH' noise where they zoom in closer and closer to the victim before the proverbial ax falls... Eeesh.

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Mary Lou said...

Skinny Minnie!!
I love that!! Good job with losing all the weight!! You look very, very slim and fit, now!! ;-D
I am glad that your butt is better!! ;op
Love, Raelyn.... And Rose, my BEAUTIFULLY UNIQUE "Mystery Dog"!!

Anonymous said...

Oh my dogness, Puddles! I'm super sorry abouts your butt. I mean, the part where it gets all plugged up. Not the part where it's GAWJUSS. Cuz why would I be sorry abouts that?

By the way, I thought nobuddy did "woe" better than me. But after looking at some of those pictures of you in the torture chamber, I think maybe you deserves an award for woe. The Woe Award! It's Most Press-Tea-Gist, even if I did just make it up.

Wiggles & Wags,

What Remains Now said...

We haven't had to deal with this yet. You are very brave to post this for the whole world to see.

Piappies World said...

Oh noes, Puddles!

You had to go through that?! Do listen and be careful, ok? Especially now that you know your Mom chronicles everything. Waaaa

Do eat some cheetos and get back those lost pounds.

Piappies Fudgie, Princess, Frappie, Mocha, Sugar, Wai-Pai, Wai-Max & Forgie

Scooter said...

Hey Puddles!
Wow, what a horrifying experience! And pix to boot. Totally wrong, wrong, wrong. Now, my Mom had a retriever who blew his butt out (really!) because he needed this done and she didn't know. Yuck. So, I guess what you had is at least better than that. Say, I'm a little concerned about your skinnifying self. Are you sure you're okay?!?
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

KB said...

Yup, the cerazy lady has no ethics whatsoever. It does seem like the more those glands are expressed, the more they need to be expressed.

I agree, just stop it. Duh.

(PS, I hope that the vet checked to make sure that nothing bad is causing this. Not to scare you, but one of our dogs got anal sac cancer so now we make our vet check our dogs for it regularly.)

Your butt is very purty.