Monday, July 16, 2012

I Is DEAD Serious

Hey ya'll!
Puddles D. Rainwater heres to gives you da latest breakin' news...from da 'hood.

Ever wakes up in da morning feelin' DEAD tired?
You needs your coffee but Oh my, you would really likes a good cup
of Starbuck's coffee.
What do you do?
Well duh, you run down to your corner FUNERAL HOME
to gets your cup of MOURNING JOE to REVIVE yourself!
(revive...I kill myself sometimes)

Yes, folks, I is DEAD serious.
It was even on da NATIONAL news about dis stoopid idea.
You can even go to Frankie's blog to see it made his teevee.
My itty bitty town was on da national news cuz our local funeral home
is getting there very own Starbuck's
(who comes to my town and doesn't interview me)
Only in my hometown can you go pick out a coffin and grab a caramel latte 
with a shot of formaldehyde at da same time.

Wells I says to da Kerazy Lady..." Drives me to da funeral home so I can gets on da news!"
So of course her droves me.
"I is ready furs my close up!"
(Somebuddy blew my highlights out)

So we gets to da funeral home and there was not a single news person theres!!!!!!!!!
I eeeeven hads my profile all ready to go.

Wells da news crew may not has been theres but peoples was blowin' there horns at us...
...they obviously recognized me...cuz mum dove in da bushes so nobuddy would see her.
"Hey, you wants my pawtograph?"

Okays, let me gets back on track.
If you evers needs coffee in Puddlestown, I can hook you up
withs some...
ICED Hazelnut Hearse,
Lazurus Latte
Arise and Shine
Starbuck's Mourning Blend
Mortuary Marachino coffee
Coffin Caramel espresso
(thanks to Frankie and Sarge fur da names)

"Hehehehehe...dat was FUUUUUN, but lets gets da coffee next time"

Updated list furs Digging:
red is da newest ones and blue is from Friday's list
if I has missed your name puuuulease let me knows as da kerazy lady is furgetsfuls.
Lily Belle
Nora B. Webster
Sally Ann
Sweet William
Freya Rose

Puddles...needin; a cuo of coffee


Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

And if anybuddy DARES to doubt you on this.... just send them to my blog fur the PROOF that it REALLY did make the NEWS... even up here on MY HILL.

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

OKAY.... so that FUNERAL HOME has FOUR(4) Sides, RIGHT?? Why waste them? They can have
Side 2 HallBARK Card and Flower shop (Instant Delivery of both)
Side 3 Billy Bob and Bubba's BURGERS and MORE
Side 4 Drive through VET Clinic Where you can have your BUTT Squeezed and leave your EXPRESSION of good GRIEF
I think YOUR FUNERAL Home is GONNA GET YOU in the END...

Bobbie said...

Aww Puddles.. I want your pawtagraph.. lol

This is very interesting. You guys are on the cutting edge!! What a great idea. I'm serious..

I can't believe they wouldn't wait for you there Pudddles- for a picture or pawtagraph... Don't they know who you are?!

My Mind's Eye said...

Puddles Puddles Puddles my mom is a cup of joe junkie and trust me when I say SHE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR A CUP OF JOE; however, even she says Coffee and Coffin should not be in the same sentence. Speaking of which once again you have succeeded in making her spit coffee all over the screen

PDR this breaking news could only happen in the Palmetto State. Morning takes her coffee full test and hot. Although she is considering a little formaldehyde
Hugs from your BFFF

My Mind's Eye said...

MOL Morning takes her coffee...MOLMOL
I dictated Mom takes her morning....
no telling what her brain tells her fingers.
hugs madi

BordoggyTerrier said...

I wonder if you gotta be deaded first, then qualify for coffee, or does the coffee make you deaded, or do you go in the hopes of being deaded and if there is a queue you can sit and have a coffee while you wait? Marvellous what they come up with these days, they think of everything!

Agnes B. Bullock said...

We saw it on our local news here too- no photo of Puddles, so the story was of NO INTEREST to us!

Dexter said...

I LOVE it! Why not? Gets traffic in the funeral parlor, sell some coffins and who are people going to call first when they need to take care of dead business? Yup, brilliant.


The Daily Pip said...

Hold on one minute ...just got to give ...the old lady a boost ...there we go just pushed my assistant in the right direction towards the funeral home. She is a bit of the walking dead in the morning and I have to steer her in the right direction otherwise she might walk into a wall or something.

Oh, and can I have a mortuary mocha, please.

Your pal, Pip

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

Ha, ha, ha. We saw that story on the news and thought of you. Great idea, why not? And we think Frankie and Ernie did a great job with the menu.

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightningq

Finn said...

BOL!! You are a superstar!!

GOOSE said...

Hummm a coffee shop in a funeral place. You know if I lived in Puddles town and ran a dead place and saw my competition selling the Starbucks coffee I would start a bar in my place. Oh the fun that could be had when you have a few to many in a funeral home.

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

I'd like a MUMMY MACHIATO and a Grave DIGGER Special, Please... TO GO!

Matilda the Boxer said...

Just when I thought peeps couldn't get any stranger over their coffee stuff!

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

HEY..... these Smell... HEAVENLY butt are Hot as He!!

the teacher's pets said...

I guess the funeral homes are trying to make themselves look less dreary but offering coffee but I still think it's weird. A few years ago a funeral home in Manchester, NH, started showing movies at night complete with popcorn and soda. The funeral director wanted to make the funeral home look more INVITING. And guess what movie kicked the series off? The Sound Of Music! No kidding!

Bassetmomma said...

OMG! That is hilarious! Now I've hearsed (heehee!) of everything! LOL!

ShellePenn said...

I am with frankie on the 4 sides thing... mom about spit out her juice when she read as an 'expression' of good Grief.... bwahahahaha

I'm still up for that bar in the funeral home. Why not add some FUN to FUNeral. I mean you could turn the widow into Cinderella... she comes to the Funeral Home looking all fly and then leaves a hot mess missing a shoe!

Shelle, Milo, Dixie and Newby,

jen said...

That is crazy! I guess everyone needs a good of coffee to get them through the tough times, right? I don't know cause I drink Pepsi not coffee.

Anyway you did awesome posing for the camera I bet the news team was inside getting a cup of coffee!

Brian's Home Blog said...

athat might just be another "only in da South" things Puddles!

Lovable Lily said...

We are in disbelief over here (but know its gotta be true since you are reporting it an all.)

All we can say is Oh My Dog!

Lily Belle

Patrice and Higgins said...

I wonder if they give the deaded people a cup of strong Joe to see if it wakes them up! BOL!!!


The Websters said...

That's quite a marketing scheme if we've ever seen one.

I suppose they were tired of only serving a customer once and wanted to build up a regular clientele.

The names for the drinks are fabulous.

Yes, people do flock to us. Every kid in the neighborhood knows me! Have I mentioned how much I love kids?

Ironically, I've heard Mrs. Master confess that she flags people down when walking their dogs so she can pet them. Weirdo.


Unknown said...

Puddles you hilarious. Have a great Monday.
Best wishes Molly

The Heartbeats said...

Oh yes. I saw the headlines BUT I didn't know it was our loverly hometown until I heard it on the NATIONAL news!! These peeps go to Mamma's church and they seem normal but we are starting to think they might be kerazy!!!


Millie and Walter said...

If I hadn't seen the news report on Frankie's blog I might not have believed you. This is too funny.


Marg said...

Oh Puddles, that is one of the funniest posts we have read. Why didn't you tell us you were going to the funeral home and we would have all come to get your pawtograph. Remember it isn't far for us. Can't believe the news people weren't there. Next time we will call them for ya. Stay cool, getting hot again.

Scooter said...

Hey Puddles!
Wow, this is one of the craziest ideas EVER! BOL, but it sure is funny! My Dad wants to order a Pall(ar) Bear(er) Iced Cappucino! BWAR HAR HAR. Mom wants a plain ole Hearse Blend. Oh, the mileage in this one! Teeheehee.
BTW: The media totally missed out on a great photo-op with you.
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

Dachshund Nola said...

OMD BOL OMD!!!!! That is CRAZY!!! Who in there right mind wants star bucks from a funeral home??!!
And most ridiculous then that is that the news crew wasn't knocking down your door!

Backcountry Brodie said...

I has to go confirm this ofur at Frankie's just in case there be a Puddles impawster making this up coz my mom is all reddy to run ofur there and place an order - she drinks Mourning Blend.

Jans Funny Farm said...

Who are they hoping will buy the Starbucks coffee - those in or out of the coffin?

Sketching with Dogs said...

A-hahahahahaha!! That is the funniest thing we ever saw. What kind of nutter would think of an idea like that?
Damn, you missed the media circus!
Dip Bridge and Elliot x
pee ess - if your mum can say **** we can say damn, hehe.

Declan said...

It could catch on. Maybe an ice cream parlour next door - keep the bodies in the freezer! Deccy x

Unknown said...

We just busted two guts over here laughing at you today!
Lovies, Miss mindy

Two French Bulldogs said...

Yep we heard all about this. Uncle lives by one of these dead Starbucks places
Benny & Lily

Angel Junior, Orion and Sammy said...

Well, isn't that something? Who knew a Starbucks would end up in a funeral home? Kinda cool though.

AND how dare they leave without interviewing you!!!! How could they not have known you were on your way. Dirty rats!

Ruby said...

Oh, Puddles, those news crews don't know what they missed!!! You should let it 'leak' next time your goin' to make an appearance! For sure TMZ would show up!!



Smile With Your Tail said...

Puddles you sure do crack us up! BOL!

Can't LIVE without our coffee, hehehe.
You look a stunner in your photos as always dear!


Lucy-Fur, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Wow. Um. Either business at your local funeral home is dead (heehee) and they need another income source, or all your local bereaved people like to be jacked up on caffeine. That said, how can ANYTHING be newsworthy and NOT include a foto of you? It can't be THAT newsworthy! ;-) Oh, and Mom doesn't think she'll be DYING for cup of coffee anytime soon...

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Mary Lou said...

I love your sense of humor!! Can I have some? Send it my way!! Hee, hee, hee....
I saw this news story on my Web page!! I never knew that it was your hometown, however!! Cool!! A bit bizarre, but.... ;)
Your profile picture was beautiful!! Keep it up!! I would accept your "pawtograph" any day!! ;op
Love, Raelyn.... And Rose, my BEAUTIFULLY UNIQUE "Mystery Dog"!!

Inger said...

Well, the TV world may have missed your appearance, but at least I got to see you in closeup. And so very pretty you are. I also like your collar and leash. Very colorful. Starbucks/Funeral Homes have nothing on you!

Ziggy Stardust said...

OMD Puddles, you scared the poop out of me. I thought you were in trouble again. Maybe you and I could set up a little stand with Puddles and Sasha's road kill cheeto crusted beer battered fry with beer cheese dipping sauce. It seems just right, being a funeral home and all. You live in a really cool place, I want to come and visit. I wonder what the "braistas" will be dressed up like to serve the coffee? Maybe they could give out little shovels instead of mixing spoons and they could offer with or without worms.

Loveys Sasha

p.s. the glamor shots are beautiful, I can't believe they didn't put you in the shot. Did I see you on a Little Caesars Pizza ad on tv?? It looks just like you. I will send it to you if you haven't seen it.

My Dog Sam - Ruptured Disk said...

Hi Puddles, wow that's really different. Maybe that Starbuck's will do alot of business when they have services for mourners. I think that we'll stick with the Starbuck outlets that are not in furneral homes.

Asta said...

you cwack me up and aways make me wise and shine when I see you
that is some cwazy town you live in, hehehehe

I can't believe they didn't have that fabooloos closeup of you on the much mowe intewesting than that foonewal place, sheeesh.. and I woold shoowe stop fow yoow pawtogwaph
smoochie kisses

houndstooth said...

Bwaaaa ha ha ha ha! Oh, Puddles, you crack me up! Let's just agree to keep this coffee far away from Kuster. He's bad enough without caffeine in his system!


P.S. Isn't it a little too late for your mom to be diving in the bushes now? The whole town saw her driving around with you already!

georgia little pea said...

Pudds - that must surely be the height of bad or at least dubious taste. But what would one expect from Starbucks? (The Typist made me say that. I'm not allowed coffee so I wouldn't know one way or another. They all sound FAT though).

I know what picks ME up in the morning.... a puddle of dead possum. Now that's a kick. Hooroo! X

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

I'll have your After DINNER Special

The Death by Coffee Bean and Gone Butt not furgotten blend Extra Large.

And Ernie would like a Lay Out Latte.

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

Hey PUDDLES.... I heard that Declan was wantin them to have a NEW Flavor... in honor of his Olymp. Event... Silent butt DEADly.

A MilShelb Mom said...

TOO funny! That's SC for ya!
~Milly and Shelby

What Remains Now said...

I'm a bit behind on blog reading so just read about K. Just letting you know I stopped by and caught up.

Cole said...

Puddles, I'd come down there just to get your pawtograph! Sign me up!

Anonymous said...

OMD. Unbelievable. Only in your town Puddles. The drink menu was to die for ;) BOL!

Waggin at ya,

Sweet William The Scot said...

Oh I saw that Puddles, I did not know that was your home town. Well apparently there are more krazys there than the krazy lady.
I thought oh just gag me! I knew some funeral homes were doing weddings that is explainable your tied to a ball and chain and going down for life but coffee!
Thanks for being a friend
Sweet William The Scot