Friday Post with Corbin Stuffs

Happy Friday Greetin's ya'll!
Furst I wanna say dat my mum thanks ya'll kindly fur thinkin' of hers and hers HELLbow.
I will explain what be goin' on Monday and it has to do withs a big ol' knife.

Now let's me get on with more important stuffs likes my post.
Dis be a dog blog not a HELLbow blog.

Abouts a million weeks ago I gotted a package in da mail from Corbin...

I was shocked and I had no idea why he was sendin' me a package...

but I said I'd take it anyways withs no reason.

If I haded had britches on I would has surely wetted 'em.

 
 I stuffed my honker in da box...cuz dat is what you suppose to do.

Dis was where I was all squealin' but you not ables to sees my face.

 OH MY DOOOOOG...OH MY DOOOOOG!!!!

GIVES IT...GIVES IT TO ME!

I NEEDS DAT RIGHT NOOOOOW!

Would ya'll just look at what da Corbin's momma made!

It be a cheeseburger treat dat hers made all by herself.

Thank dog my mum not make it or I''d be dead as a doornail.

There is no photo of me eatin' cuz my mum ain't fast enough...I was like pure lightenin'.

Dat was one of my favorites in da box.

 "OOOOOh gives dat to me too Girl"

Then there was more stuffs.

 I was all ooohin' and awwwwwein'.

Dis is my favorite thing.

It be a beer stuffie squeakie toy...OMD!!!!

I thinks they made dis toy just fur a pUddles.

Okay wait,...dis is my favoritist thing da Corbin sent....

Can you believes it?

He made cards thankin' me fur comin' to destroy his place...and it even has

our fotos all overs it.

I was goin' bezerk when I seened dat...fur reals I was.

I has it posted in my bedroom so I can sees it aaaaall da time.

I shows ya'll oneday.

Okays here da udder bestest part and I knows ya'll has been wonderin' bouts it...

...da package fillin'.

And it ain't no Easter Basket fillin' neithers.

It was a bunch of half nekkid woman withs fake boobs.

While da Corbin's momma be at work...da Corbin reads da Victoria's Secret catalog.

Dats what he filled my box in so nuttin' would break.

I reckon fake boobs does dat...I asked my mum and hers concurred.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA...

...I wished ya'll knews how hard I laughed when I seen all these 

legs and boobs stickin' out of da box.

Now heres da foto of all my stuffies I gotted...

Notice dat dog?

Uhuh, dat would be da Corbin but it ain't da real one.
I has to be real carefuls withs da Corbin toy so I not hurts him.
Him does do a good massage by da way.

Ooooh I so happies I gots all dis stuff.

I has to go cuz I has stuffs to

play withs do nows.

Thank You Corbin and Momma fur sendin' me a little care package to thank me fur da trip.

I loves ya'll very much!

Puddles

Mum's MRI and dis and dat

Well hellos everybuddy, it's me Puddles.

It has been awhile since I has caused any trubles been around.

I did wants to let everybuddy knows dat mum haded her MRI

and da results was not what hers was wantin'..her said many many bad words.

And I do mean MANY!

Her has a LARGE tear in da HELLbow tendon and da bone is bruised too.

Nows da Dr. kept on tellin' mum dat da tear is NOT a slight tear but a large one...

dis not my mum's arm but a replica

as you can see...dat torn tendon purty much effects da whole freakin' arm makin' it hard to blog or wipe her own butt...prolly shouldn't has said dat huh? Or takes my glamour shots (very important)

Mum's tear is biggers than dat one though.

I am ASSumin' he needed hers to get a grip on da severity of everything...

....not dat hers can actually grip though....bwhahahahaha, oh I made a funny.

Ahem, anyways, her will has anudder steroid injection on wednesday and they will 

talk surgery (dear lawd help me cuz her sucks at bein' a patient)

Nows da moral here is dat weight liftin' is bad fur your health...just stay on da couch

and drink beer and eat cheetos and burgers.

Obviously I has no new glamour shots so I'll leaves you withs an old one.

It may be an old one but a fine one if I do say so.

Oh and don't furgets,

I was interviewd overs at Mayor Madi's so you ought to check it 

out cuz I didn't even say no bad words dis time...hehehehe.

Also, I is goin' on a playdate later dis week, I'll let you know laters bouts dat
and on Friday, I is gonna shows ya'll what da Corbin sented me in da mail...

...hehehehehe. It still makes me laugh.
Okays I is done nows.

Puddles...withs da broken mum

Stoopid Mum

I just wanted to lets ya'll knows dat mum haded an accident

withs her HELLbow, her snapped it and her went to da DR and they 

is doin' an MRI in da mornin'.

They measured her grip and poundage withs dis contraption thing and her was so bad

 it would nt even measures...it was a big ol' 0...not even 2 pounds...or 3 pounds.

But I kept tellin' her to slow down all dis time but hers not listen to me.

Anywas, my point is we can't comment today cuz of hers pain now. 

So dats why we hasn't been around today.

I promise I will be back once I gets mum straightened out.

Puddles

A Package from Stella Rose and Maggie

Last week I gotted a package in da mail from Stella Rose and Maggie
I is Maggie's mentor and role model. 

Why is ya'll laughin'?

Yea, I nevers thoughted I would be a role model eithers...hehehehe.

 Now come with me and I shows you what I gotted.

 I gots da most wonderful stanky tuna treats on earth.

(all da kittehs gonna be hatein')

Fur some reason Mum holds her nose when her opens da bag

Then there was anudder package too.

My Girl helped me open it withs a pair of scissors we founded.

 (nosey brudder in left corner)

 Hers took furevers.

 "dear lawd has mercy I wished you would hurry up kid"

Finally afters 87 minutes later I gotted to stick my nose in da bag.

OMD...OMD...it's a wobble thingamajig!!!!!!!!

 I very gently tooks it from My Girl

 "Ooooops he fall"

Nows when I gotted off da table from my fotoshoot I gots my beaver thing and I tooks off

runnin' full speed through da house and there happened to be a wall in my way.

Well guess what?

I slammed right into it!

Yep, I did but no worries cuz I has a hard head so I not gets hurt.

I thinks there may be a hole in da wall nows though...hehehe

Thank you Stella Rose and Maggie fur thinkin' of me and sendin' me such

awesome stuffs.

And mum really thanks you fur da tuna snacks, her loves it when I burps in her face

afters I eats 'em. I knows dats why her eyeballs rolled in da back of her head.

Oh I almost furgotted...

yesterday was Brudder Albert's birfday.

He is 11 years old now.

Happy Birfday Brudder!

ahem...I...I...lo....I loves you!

Puddles....Queen of Merriment and Mayhem

OMD, THANK YA'LL!

Ya'll dis heres is Puddles...Queen of Merriment and Mayhem...

I freakin' loves my new title and crown and I plans on keepin' them furevers and evers!

I does look good in a crown and it does makes my hairs even beautifuler!

Donchoo thinks?

Okays I had no intentions of bloggin' today cuz My Girl woked up sick as a dog..or whatevers.

(Dat sayin' has never made no sense to me). Her has tummy virus...bleh!

Anyways, I thoughted well, I just check da blogs to see whats goin' on and boy howdy was I

evers shocked and surprised dat ya'll made today 

Pip and Puddles Appreciation Day!

I am still in awe dat so many of ya'll tooks your time to do a post fur us, da dynamic duo!

Ya'll have all made today such a special day and I can't thank you enough fur lettin' us into your hearts and bein' our furiends and lettin' us demolish things and drink your beer.

Ya'll all makes it so wonderful to be part of such a special community dat I loves and is fortunate to calls home.

Sorry fur ramblin' but I is just beyond honored with all these sweet posts and fur such kind words fur me and Pip And I is still freakin' excited bouts everything.
See, I is ramblin' again.

Thank you also to Madi and da Dachsies with Moxie fur organizin' dis production...nd fur having red carpet fur Pip to pee on (it was a bucket list thing)

And all damage bills durin' dis celebration should be sent to Frankie Furter.

Thank you again everybuddy fur makin' today so special!

I loves you all so much!

Puddles...Queen of Merriment and Mayhem

Monday Foodables

Happy Monday Everybuddy!

So ya'll remembers last week when I was diagnosed withs a
rare debilitating disease and dat makes me constantly hungry?
Wells my mentor and most wonderful furiends Frankie and Ernie
sent me a little care package...
WITH FOODABLES!

See right there....it say from Frankie Furter.

They really ought to gets a new stamp with Ernie's name on it to.

Unless Frankie just don't want to.

Anyways, the sent....

....DEER JERKY!!!!!

(thumb not included)

They sent some furs da blobs too so I hads to share...bleh!

"Woman GIVE ME DA DEER JERKY"

I has nevers had dis stuff befores but OMD was it evers da most delish stuffs.
I will has to be on a da lookout nows fur a deer.

They also sent me dis treat jar CONtainer doohickey thing.

 See, there be a hole in it and you puts foodables in it.
Then I has to gets da food out.
It keeps be from gorgin' on my food.

At first I not knows what da heck to do withs it.

WTF?

But believe me, I gotted it all figured out within seconds.
Then it became a CANtainer....bwhahahahahaha!
Oh I cracks myself up.

 Yep, dis is where da foods come out.
Alls I has to do is roll it on da hole side and VOILA...I gets food.
TOO EASY!

 Of course until it gets stuck under da dishwasher.

 Got dat figured out too.

I LOVES DIS THING!
And mum really enjoys da clonkin' and bangin' noise it makes
when I smash it into da walls.

Mum gives dis to me in da afternoon while brudder and sissy is outside.
And I also thought ya'll should knows dat I is slowly gainin' some weight back.
I gets fed three times a day now and my food is bein' mixed withs puppy food now.

Frankie and Ernie also sent dis deer antler but I wasn't too interested in it.
Kerazy right?
I was more interested in da deer jerky.
Howevers, Brudder Albert REALLY took  to da antler.

Him also has mud caked on his nails...just thoughted I would point dat out.

Anyways...

...I wanted it back when I saw him with it.

Thank you Frankie and Ernie fur da fabulous stuffs ya'll sent to me.
Nows, can I place an order fur 87 pounds of deer jerky?
Good thing I won't has to use your credit card for it.
Seriously though, you don't know how much dis container has helped withs my eatin;.
THANK YOU!

Puddles

Thank You!!!!!!

I would likes to thank everybuddy dat participated in Pip's Bucket Tour 

and everybuddy dat followed us on his amazin' journey.

None of dis would has been possible without ya'll.

And uh..yea, sorry bouts all da destruction and remodelin' we done...

...and missin' stuffs.

They was total accidents!

Dear Pip,
I am honored and humbled dat you asked me to be by your side on your Bucket Tour. It was the thrill of a lifetime for me to help you fulfill your dream. And I hope I did good, minus the few incidents along the way.
I remember meeting you for the furst time...you were "training" for a walk to help Red Door, who brought you to safety. I knoew right off we were going to great frineds, you were hilarious and had a heart of gold. From that moment on we have been friends and I am so blessed for that fateful day. I made a furiend for life.
I was thinking back of all the fun, exciting, precious times we has had togedders from the Race of the Century, selling your house, getting you a couch, Sallie and Alien's Valentine's Day Pawty, the Back to School Bash, and Frankie's Bachelor pawty. The list goes on and on. We has shared some of the most absolute wonderful times togedders and I will never forget them. Thank you for being such a wonderful furiend to me and to the rest of the Blogville family. You have taught us all how to live life to the fullest regardless of limitations, you have taught us to follow our dreams, and to be resilient. You have given us a million laughs and smiles to last us a lifetime.
When your time comes to leave this world, you will take a piece of my heart with you. And when it is time for me to leave here, wait for me by the gate ( I is bad with directions). I love you my dear furiend, always.

Puddles

And don't furgets, we is still takin' comments on da tour post.
And we does likes comments.
So comment as much as you want and jump in da pool with us.
We also has Jazzi's cushions if you is too short fur da slot machines.
There is also a table fur craps.
And Frankie is buyin' us all rounds of drinks and whatevers else you wants.

Puddles

Pip's Bucket Tour at MY house

Hellos and welcome to da final destination on Pip's Bucket Tour.

I, Puddles Duddles Rainwater was most honored to

helps Pip cross off stuffs on his bucket list...I was his nurse just in case anything 

went wrong. Well I tooks really good cares of him...I swear, I really did.

Anywho, today Pip is coming to my 'hood in SC.

Pip knows what a good huntress I is and he has alwys
 admired my huntin' skills so he wanted to try his paw at huntin'.

So I thoughted I would show him hows it's done by a professional.

Ahem...okays then.

So then I thunked maybe huntin' wasn't such a good idea.
Some dogs just ain't natural born hunters...hehehehe.

I promised him I wouldn't mention havin' to console him fur missin' Big Foot.

Then it hit me...we could go DIGGIN'.
Every dog likes to dig.

ummm, I'll just write da instructions down and him can practise at home.

So we done dat and made a luvelry hole if I do say so.

Puddles: So whatdaya wanna do nows?

Pip: Well gee Puddles, I am getting a little tired now from all that hunting and digging

Puddles: Oh lawd has mercy Pip. Okay then, I has a splendid idea.

Pip: Is it better than your mum's ideas?

Puddles: (rolls eyes) of course it is.

Pip: Okay then....what is it?

Puddles: We is gonna go gets some Starbuck's coffee at da funeral home and rejuvinate.

So to da funeral home we went to gets coffee.
Yes, our local funeral home has a Starbuck's...don't ask.

We boff had a cup of Coffin Cocoa.
It was most delish.
We sat and talked bouts world domination peace, squirrels politics, and udder worldly things.
And then Pip telled me he was bored.

  Pip: Puddles this is a little boring.

 Puddles: How wells I knows, it is kinda weird talkin' bouts educational stuffs.

                So what do you wanna do?

Pip: Well, I have always wanted to go to Vegas.

Puddles: Alrighty then, let's go!

Pip: Please tell me you aren't going to fly.

Puddles: Okays then, I ain't gonna fly...bwhahahahahaha!

Soon we hads made our way to da plane.

We even brought a little souvenir from da car...hehehehe.

Puddles: How comes thre is no steerin' wheel on dis thang?

               OMD, theres no feetsie pedals eithers! And theres LOTS of buttons and switches too.

Pip: You know Puddles, your ideas are worse than your mum's.

Puddles: Hehehehehe, I reckon you is right....um you might wanna buckle up now.

Then we landed in da most beautiful place evers....LAS VEGAS...withs just some minor turbulance.
I said it was MINOR, no fault of da pilot.

Puddles: We should really jack dat sign.

Pip: Do we have room in the car for a HUGE sign?

Puddles: Hmmmm....we'll make some room cuz it's beautiful.

Pip wanted to go to da furst casino he saw so of course I obliged him.

(hey you, person I do not knows...can you takes our foto?)

So, nice person tooks our commemorative foto.
Dang, should has sent these out as post cards. Oh well.

Then...then...then we found da SLOT MACHINES!!!!!!!!!
BOOOOOYA!

But unfortunately we was tooooo freakin' short.
Fear not, we broughted supplies just in case.

See, we is smart likes dat.
(Thanks Jazzi and Addi!)

Afters dat we headed to da bar cuz we gotted awfully thirsty.

But furst, I had to stop and tell these ladies a joke...they laughed.
Seriously it WASN'T THAT funny, geez.

Finally we made it to da bar.
Like dat took fuuuuuurevers, like 87 steps at least.

Pip and me ordered 87 beers...

...and I tolded da bar tender to put it on Frankie's card.
Score one fur me...or 87 but who's countin'?
Frankie won't mind, it's fur a good cause and he is such a givin' furiend.

Pip gotted hungry and I had to pee.
So while I went to do my business him found some food.

Okay so he found somebuddy elses food but Pip is nice and letted her shares with him...hehehe.
Of course Pip wanted all da fries.
Woman done eated da burger!
But Pip is old and achy...dats what he tolded hers anyways.

Seen these men when I was coming back from my pee.
They was playin' craps or sumptin.

They totally sucked at it too.

We decided to head out to da pool fur a little relaxtion.

Pip:I....I....I think we just found the Fountain of Youth at a hotel!

Puddles: WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

(splash)

Puddles: Okays, you gets in da pool and rest your achy bones.

Pip: This is more like it.

Puddles: Watch dis...I is gonna do a Canon Ball!

Pip: Must you?

Puddles: Yes, I must!

Pip: I should have known this wasn't going to be realxing.

(little Puddles splash...splash)

Puddles: Your turn Pip!

*
But then afters all da fun, it was time furs Pip and me to head
back home befores it gotted dark, it was sad and I thinks I even gotted a little
teary eyed but I will nevers admit to it.

Since we tooks da beautiful, famous Las Vegas sign we had to has da car sent to us.
We does like souvenirs.
So far we gotted...
Hilary's wine
Bertie's Licker cabinet
Gracie's big ear
Bunny's martingale collar and crown
Jazzi and Addi's cushions
Sasha's neighbor's mailbox
Casey's bull and horns
money from NY dat we gaved to underprivileged doggies and kittehs
and
da Las Vegas sign

Not a bad haul huh?

 We was on da road to home and it was indeed gettin' dark and then it was dark.
Pip started yellin'...
"STOP THE CAR...
STOP THE CAR...
STOP THE CAR!!!!!"
I slammed on da brakes (sorry bouts dat whiplash Pip) and we boff gotted out...and sat.

We sat togedders and looked at da moon... rememberin' our beautiful furiend Remington.


Finally we ended up wheres we began....

...on da couch.

Pip and Nurse Puddles