Pip's Bucket Tour at MY house

Hellos and welcome to da final destination on Pip's Bucket Tour.

I, Puddles Duddles Rainwater was most honored to

helps Pip cross off stuffs on his bucket list...I was his nurse just in case anything 

went wrong. Well I tooks really good cares of him...I swear, I really did.

Anywho, today Pip is coming to my 'hood in SC.

Pip knows what a good huntress I is and he has alwys
 admired my huntin' skills so he wanted to try his paw at huntin'.

So I thoughted I would show him hows it's done by a professional.

Ahem...okays then.

So then I thunked maybe huntin' wasn't such a good idea.
Some dogs just ain't natural born hunters...hehehehe.

I promised him I wouldn't mention havin' to console him fur missin' Big Foot.

Then it hit me...we could go DIGGIN'.
Every dog likes to dig.

ummm, I'll just write da instructions down and him can practise at home.

So we done dat and made a luvelry hole if I do say so.

Puddles: So whatdaya wanna do nows?

Pip: Well gee Puddles, I am getting a little tired now from all that hunting and digging

Puddles: Oh lawd has mercy Pip. Okay then, I has a splendid idea.

Pip: Is it better than your mum's ideas?

Puddles: (rolls eyes) of course it is.

Pip: Okay then....what is it?

Puddles: We is gonna go gets some Starbuck's coffee at da funeral home and rejuvinate.

So to da funeral home we went to gets coffee.
Yes, our local funeral home has a Starbuck's...don't ask.

We boff had a cup of Coffin Cocoa.
It was most delish.
We sat and talked bouts world domination peace, squirrels politics, and udder worldly things.
And then Pip telled me he was bored.

  Pip: Puddles this is a little boring.

 Puddles: How wells I knows, it is kinda weird talkin' bouts educational stuffs.

                So what do you wanna do?

Pip: Well, I have always wanted to go to Vegas.

Puddles: Alrighty then, let's go!

Pip: Please tell me you aren't going to fly.

Puddles: Okays then, I ain't gonna fly...bwhahahahahaha!

Soon we hads made our way to da plane.

We even brought a little souvenir from da car...hehehehe.

Puddles: How comes thre is no steerin' wheel on dis thang?

               OMD, theres no feetsie pedals eithers! And theres LOTS of buttons and switches too.

Pip: You know Puddles, your ideas are worse than your mum's.

Puddles: Hehehehehe, I reckon you is right....um you might wanna buckle up now.

Then we landed in da most beautiful place evers....LAS VEGAS...withs just some minor turbulance.
I said it was MINOR, no fault of da pilot.

Puddles: We should really jack dat sign.

Pip: Do we have room in the car for a HUGE sign?

Puddles: Hmmmm....we'll make some room cuz it's beautiful.

Pip wanted to go to da furst casino he saw so of course I obliged him.

(hey you, person I do not knows...can you takes our foto?)

So, nice person tooks our commemorative foto.
Dang, should has sent these out as post cards. Oh well.

Then...then...then we found da SLOT MACHINES!!!!!!!!!
BOOOOOYA!

But unfortunately we was tooooo freakin' short.
Fear not, we broughted supplies just in case.

See, we is smart likes dat.
(Thanks Jazzi and Addi!)

Afters dat we headed to da bar cuz we gotted awfully thirsty.

But furst, I had to stop and tell these ladies a joke...they laughed.
Seriously it WASN'T THAT funny, geez.

Finally we made it to da bar.
Like dat took fuuuuuurevers, like 87 steps at least.

Pip and me ordered 87 beers...

...and I tolded da bar tender to put it on Frankie's card.
Score one fur me...or 87 but who's countin'?
Frankie won't mind, it's fur a good cause and he is such a givin' furiend.

Pip gotted hungry and I had to pee.
So while I went to do my business him found some food.

Okay so he found somebuddy elses food but Pip is nice and letted her shares with him...hehehe.
Of course Pip wanted all da fries.
Woman done eated da burger!
But Pip is old and achy...dats what he tolded hers anyways.

Seen these men when I was coming back from my pee.
They was playin' craps or sumptin.

They totally sucked at it too.

We decided to head out to da pool fur a little relaxtion.

Pip:I....I....I think we just found the Fountain of Youth at a hotel!

Puddles: WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

(splash)

Puddles: Okays, you gets in da pool and rest your achy bones.

Pip: This is more like it.

Puddles: Watch dis...I is gonna do a Canon Ball!

Pip: Must you?

Puddles: Yes, I must!

Pip: I should have known this wasn't going to be realxing.

(little Puddles splash...splash)

Puddles: Your turn Pip!

*
But then afters all da fun, it was time furs Pip and me to head
back home befores it gotted dark, it was sad and I thinks I even gotted a little
teary eyed but I will nevers admit to it.

Since we tooks da beautiful, famous Las Vegas sign we had to has da car sent to us.
We does like souvenirs.
So far we gotted...
Hilary's wine
Bertie's Licker cabinet
Gracie's big ear
Bunny's martingale collar and crown
Jazzi and Addi's cushions
Sasha's neighbor's mailbox
Casey's bull and horns
money from NY dat we gaved to underprivileged doggies and kittehs
and
da Las Vegas sign

Not a bad haul huh?

 We was on da road to home and it was indeed gettin' dark and then it was dark.
Pip started yellin'...
"STOP THE CAR...
STOP THE CAR...
STOP THE CAR!!!!!"
I slammed on da brakes (sorry bouts dat whiplash Pip) and we boff gotted out...and sat.

We sat togedders and looked at da moon... rememberin' our beautiful furiend Remington.


Finally we ended up wheres we began....

...on da couch.

Pip and Nurse Puddles