Friday, April 5, 2013

Mission Aborted

Hellos and welcome to anudder edition of da life of Puddles.
There is one thing I do enjoy and dat is tellin' stories bouts mum
and gracious does I has one fur ya'll today!
Remembers on Wednesday I tollded ya'll I was goin' on a secret mission?
We was gonna go visit Marg, Ande, da donkeys, and da kittehs.

Wells, I had all my stuufs bowl, botteled water, and Benadryl.
ThenI gotted in da car withs mum and My Girl and headed out of town.

We was in da car hasin' good little talks and all of a sudden we hears...
kaboom, kaboom, kaboom.
I was like "OH crap, BOMBS!!!!"
Mum pulled overs in da emergency side thing and da tread from her tire was GONE!
Oh her was freakin out cuz da Girl was with us.

So then we haded to go down further to get off da exit to turn around and head back home.
Good thing cuz da Car Fixer Man was off da exit on da way home so we was just gonna stop
theres and has him put new tires on da car.
We gets there and mum shows him da bad tire...

...and he tells her ain't nuttin' wrong with her tire.
She be all like "WTF?"
Then her starts laughin' and says her showed him da wrong tire.
Can ya'll say STOOOPID?
I has nevers nor will I ever claim her is bright.
I was so embarrassed I just couldn't even look.

 "Dat woman just ain't right in da head"

So he sends us down da road to Tire Man cuz Car Fixer Man dont do tires.

"These look dirty to me"

We very slowly drive down to Tire Man.
He looks at da tires and says," WOW, how didju even make it hare on them there tars?"
What da heck are TARS?

Okays so he takes da car to replace da TARS while we sits in da waitin' room area.
 We watched a little TV

And then....

...I wanted to gets on da udder couch.

I SHAT...on their couch!
Then I SHAT on their floor.

Nows, mum was sayin' bad words under her breaf and wonderin' hows her was
gonna gets my crap up. But nows don't ya'll go a worryin' cuz it was easy clean on account dat
 they was just little hard poop balls, no logs did I crap.
Hers looked around da waitin' room and grabbed a Field and Stream magazine
and started tearing out pages to clean my poops up.
Then in walks Tire Man and mum has a balled up magazine in her hand.
He not knows though.

Theeeeeeeen mum thoughted it might be a good idea to takes me outside.
And da most wonderous thing happened.
I saws da MOST GAWJUSS dog evers!!!!!!
"Why hellos theres gawjuss, you is one fine lookin' dog!"

We decided to run and play.
But dat dog kepted stoppin' every time I would stop and every time I would look
at it, it would be starrin' at me.
Kinda freaky if you ask me.

Soon we was all done and went back home.
I hope da weekend is gonna be betters.



Dexter said...

I'm certainly glade you dropped nuggets instead of logs. Quite an adventure with tars and whatnot.

Oh, that doggie you spotted sure is pretty.


My Mind's Eye said...

MOL MOL MOL Puddles it is Panera day we'll be back later mom is laughing her fool head of and Dad is saying all aboard. They will be discusing this at breakfast
Hugs your BFFF Madi

Marg said...

Oh Puddles and family, we sure are sorry you had all that trouble. We were very sad that you didn't make it to our house but we can do it another time. We were just glad that you made it to get new tars. Have a great week end.

The Furries of Whisppy said...

Good golly, Puddles. You SHAT on the couch AND the floor? Did you have one Cheetos too many? BOL! Thank goodness for your Mom you SHAT dry nuggets!

Unknown said...

Ha ha Puddles you pooped on the couch. LOL! Glad everybody was safe but sorry it ruined your day. Maybe those pesky squirrels chewed the tars? Have a fabulous Friday.
Best wishes Molly

Lovable Lily said...

Puddles, we just gotta say this was way better (we think) than any Top Secret Mission you were going on!

Mommy and I are laughing so hard the tears are running down our leg's. Unfortunately we're sitting on a cloth couch and it's not that easy to clean up. Becides, we don't have any field and stream magazine here we can use.

We're glad that you stayed safe when the tire shredded itself. That's really scary.

Butt... you really did leave tootsie rolls on the couch? Oh goodness, we can just see the look on your Mom's face when you did that. Too bad you didn't take a picture of her all mortified and stuff. That would have made for a great Wordless Wednesday picture.

And we gotta tell ya, now I know we've not seen Your Girl in a long time, but wowzer! Look at her now! She is getting all grown up. Just where does the time go?

Too bad 'your new friend' didn't want to play with you. Maybe she was just a figment of your imagination or something.

Great story Puddles, we give you an A+!!!

Lily Belle & Muffin

Katie said...

Oh Puddles! They aren't going to want you back there anytime soon. I hope Cocco isn't rubbing off on you...What a big and scary adventure!

Piggy kisses,
Katie and Coccolino the mini pig

Gretchen said...

Hi Puddles - Thanks for stopping by our blog and thanks for the well wishes. Kendall's in good hands. We have an awesome vet.

stellaroselong said...

Well we laughed this morning for sure after we read all about your adventure and again it sounds like the same ole crap our mom puts us through...its an amazing miracle me and mags don't have to take prescription medicine for the way our life is at times...and now she is adding a boy to the mix, well we just might have to come and live with you for awhile cos I know maggie is gonna be dragging his poor little blind butt across the floor every chance she gets, or else she is gonna think he is her toy and shake the poop out of him on a regular basis, and i am just gonna look at mom and say, I TOLD YOU SO!!!
stella rose and your bff in the whole wide world..maggie moose

Corbin said...

Did you have the birthday card I sent you last year to help you with the Southern translations?!

Posie said...

heeheehee Oh ma Gooderyness Puddles, riyght furstly we iz sorry to heer abowt tha stress n traouma owf da TARS heehee, butt seein as efurrywun was okays, can I jusht say dat yoo gived me n ma mummer da besht laff we has had in ages-evirs!! heehee! Da thot owf yor mummer pikkin up poopers n holdin awll da shiytey magerziness!! heeheeheeehee GAAAASP, heeehee sooo funny! N oor nyoo reflekted furrend looks awlmost as pretty as yoo doo ma deer dashhouwndy furrend! heehee! Hope yoo is awll keepin wells! love n likkerys, Pdorg xoxx

Unknown said...

Dang girl! You shat in the tire place? Hope they didn't charge extra for the tires! BOL! What a pretty doggie that was! Have a good weekend!
Lovies, Miss Mindy

Angels Amber and Max DaWeenie and Mom said...

Da Momma hasn't laughed dis hard in a while now! Puddles, your timing was purrrfect right there in da waitin room. I dropped a few da last time I was in da back seat of Mom's car. Not good!

What Remains Now said...

If they knew who you were, they would be honored to have you shat in their waiting room...just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

Adventure indeed! Don't worry about that waiting room business! They will make it a landmark and doggies will come for miles to see!

Inger said...

Oh, Puddles, what an adventure you had. And your poor mom!

rottrover said...

Did you have to back-up at the TAR store?? Did they say, "'MONback..." when they were directing your mum?? BOL Puddles! We're glad you didn't poop on your gurl!!

-Bart, Ruby and Otto

Cowspotdog said...

Adventures don't always happen in the way we expect and this was a different kind of adventure and you did get to met that most gorgeous dog!

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

WE think this was a WONDERFUL adventure. You got to go Test the Big BANG theory of TARS. You got to make Crap Balls on a Couch. You got to watch your mom destroy the Man Cave Magazine. You got to watch her try and HIDE the Poop Balls and the evidence of her destructive ways. Then you got to meet a GORGEOUS Dachshund Girrrl. WHAT a FUN time.
Now about that Dachshund girrrl NOT wanting to play the way she should.. you know what they say.. BEAUTY is as Beauty DOES.
Yep, WE think it was a FINE adventure. The only thingy Missing was a nice relaxing PEE.
PeeS Did you tell your mum that she should have been...
Slap Happy
beclaws you didn't
Crappy on her Lappy?

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Weeellll Puddles. Far be it from me to remind you...(but see comment about secret missions!)

However. I am truly glad all survived and that it in the end provided your adoring audience with such wonderful entertainment. Your Mum and I may have something in common - I too can be forgetful as to which wheel is falling off!

As for that doxie you wanted to play with; not a patch on you Darlin' &~> YAM-aunty

The Websters said...

You didn't even get to go on your trip????

I can't believe you saw such a pretty dog. You are so lucky!


My Mind's Eye said...

Hey thare Puddles, Mum and Beautiful Girl....just when we thought we were composed enough to comment we read all the other commentaries who are evidently as cracked up as we were at 7 bells.

Puddles sweetie you know I luvs you and we are wing girls to each other but dang girlfriend I truly think some witch has put a spell on you. Thank goodness your Mum did not try to change that tar w her bad Hellbow!!!

I must say though if it was an adventure you were after you succeeded. We have a few tar places here and a few har places.

Did someone in that tar place scare the S#@% out of you? If so, you give me their name. Me, my fangs and claws will come hurt them.

BUTT the good news is you met a new friend who likes the same things.

Ok so I have a very impawtant question........what did the man (not Albert) of the house have to say about this adventure?
Hugs madi your BFFF

Millie and Walter said...

Oh Puddles I'm sorry to hear that you didn't go on the adventure you were planning, but you sure had an adventure in trying to get your tar fixed.


P.S. You girl has really grown up and is still as pretty as always.

da tabbies o trout towne said... jezuz say it aint sew...never use feeld N streem ta kleen up caca...think oh de poor fish...

all ways use like an izzue oh like "burds; caca dropperz"

ore an izzue of:

"yea we noe we canna sleep either fore da dam burd peckin de bejuz outta de houz sidin"

( if thatz knot a stoooooopid magazeen title we dunno what iz )

sew, how manee times did yur mom use de F werd


pea ezz yur post iz hilarious

hope everee one haza grate week oh end !

Anonymous said...

Oh your car lost a shoe? That ounds scary... What's the name of the doggy in the "mirror"?

Barbara said...

I needs to no da reasonin' ahind da poop "balls". Jeep has been leabin dem around da house lately. Kinda like he was dere and it juss happen an he run. Is dere a gud reason fer poop balls?

Glad yew got yer tars fixed butt bummed yew missed da donkee.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhhhh, shootin poopie Pellets hey, man thats fun when they is hard, they roll everywhere like marbels. Yep need to tell Mom she needs to checkin those tires every week, we know caus ethats part od Dads job!

The Mad Scots

Idaho PugRanch said...

Puddles you is howlarious!
Bailey, Hazel & Greta

Brian's Home Blog said...

Hey, when ya gotta go!!! At least you weren't driving Puddles...or were you?

Two French Bulldogs said...

Oh Puddles we are cracking up! All those troubles. Mommas make mountains outta mole hills
Benny & Lily

Ruby said...

Oh.My.Dog.!!! Okays, I don't even knows where to START gurl!!! Holy crap! (yes, I said it...I thinks your crap is holy...BOL!!!! oh, sorry, I drifted...)
I'm so very glads that your Moms was able to gets you to the TAR man safely, and puts on a new one! Geesh, I never knews that one could shite on a couch! I never thoughts of THAT befores! Wells, at least it was that vinyl crap that can wash right off!! hehehehe
Oh, you just never stops crackin' me ups Puddles!! (I gots to change the widdle pad...hold on....)
I'm back, so did you ever find out the name of that GAWguss Doxie???
I thinks she has a future in PlayPup myself...I've seen the photos and videos online....
Okays, Ma said I have to shuts up now...I hopes the rest of your weekends is betters...just remembers to wrap your Moms in bubble wrap if she ever tries to leave the estate again...

Anonymous said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What a hilarious story! Your mum is a little bit on the stoopid side if you ask us. Wait, that wasn't nice...maybe it's just because she hasn't been to school in a really long time. That MUST be it.

You pooed in the TAR fixer?? Good one! At least you only pooed chicken nuggets instead of die-hairy-uh! :)

Have a great weekend and try to keep that Mum of yours under control!

Elyse and Riley

GizmoGeodog said...

Oh Puddles, you didn't! I mean, you didn't! You wouldn't! What am I saying, you're Puddles...of course you would and of course you did. Momz sez it reminds her of an old line: "Anything your dog can do to embarrass you she will"

Maybe that's what 'Other Dog" was trying to tell you...Have a wonderful weekend!

liparifam said...

Oh lord, reminds me of a time we were headed out of town on vacation and had a flat on the way to the kennel. We had to stop for a new tire, and our Yorkie Zoe pooped ALL OVER the back seat (and it was soft and mushy and everywhere!) So then we had to go to the car wash, too. Talk about NEEDING a vacation, lol!

Sweet William The Scot said...

Puddles you need a cork for your bum maybe a screw cap would be better yet. I bet the crazy lady could fix you up with one. Maybe she could even buy it from the tar man. Glad nobody was hurt with the boom boom.
Thanks for being a friend
Sweet William The Scot

Duke said...

You know how they say that we all have a twinsie in this world, Puddles? That other doggie is definitely your twinsie!
We just loved your story!

Love ya lots
Mitch and Molly

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Hehehehe, Puddles you have made mum laugh and laugh cause it's not a family outing without some kind of toilet humour. Sorry your tyre went kaboom. Your little sissy is very cute and we love the photo of you together. Hope your weekend is a good one. See ya gorgeous. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

Dachshund Nola said...

BOL BOL BOL how do you take your mom?! I thought mine was bad! Wow, you pooped on their couch? Badass, Puddles, badass. Mom's tire blew while I was in the car once, but luckily my grandpa fixed it.


♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

Good girl making only nuggets - Mom so wishes Phantom had done nuggets or even logs in her car instead of the soupy mess he left - now it wasn't his fault but oh man, what a mess.

Your girl is growing up so fast and isn't she just so pretty!!! Just like you, Miss Puddles, but we think you need to eat more - you are still looking a bit on the lean side. Hope you are doing OK.

Have a great weekend and we hope you get to visit Marg and family soon.

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Lakeland adventures with Lola and Milo said...

It could of been worse at least you didn't have the runs, hope your weekend fares better.


My Dog Sam - Ruptured Disk said...

Hey Puddles, that was really funny. The part about your mom pointing out the wrong tire was funny, then you pooped on their couch and on the floor was also really funny. My mom and dad bought new snow tires this year and after having them on for a few weeks, my dad gets a call from my mom all frantic and stuff. Something about a nail, sticking out of the tire. When my dad asked where the nail was, that was in the tire, my mom tells him that it's in the side of the tire, just over from the tread. My dad says oh sh*t, that means we're buying another $300 tire. Yup. $300.

Bella Roxy & Macdui said...

That mission turned into a huge adventure!!

Love that beautiful dog, maybe you should take it home.

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

The Tar place probably needed a bit of poop.

Mary Lou said...

Did you miss me? {Okay, that was part of a Tony Stark/Iron Man line from "The Avengers". Very cocky and self-centered, actually!!} Well, I have appeared missing in action so to speak around everybody's Blogs lately. To complete my Secretive Writing Project. Well, I'm baaaack!! Did you miss me? Hee, hee, hee.... ;)
Wow, what a story!! But, it's like my Dad often says: "Stuff happens!!". ;op
Love, Raelyn.... Plus Rose, my BEAUTIFULLY UNIQUE "Mystery Dog"!!

Murphy said...

My mom cannot stop laughing!! Why did you poop? Were you scared?

Your Pals,

Murphy & Stanley

KB said...

OMD!!! I can't stop laughing. What a story! I'm glad that you're all okay... (except for those nuggets that you left for the tire guy).

Teddy said...

Thanks for the great laugh, Puddles, of sharing your adventure. Good think you dropped poop balls instead of logs. Guess that tar man got a surprise when he opened his Field and Stream mag.

Berts Blog said...

Oh Puddles little darling, thank you so much for the laugh. and we are not laughing at your mum, we are laughing with her....

She is laughing now, isn't she?


Reuben said...

OMD Puddles, that is a ginormous adventuring! Beautiful dogs, poop balls, peoples who says "ter" instead of "tire..." (and trust me, we gots plenty of those in these here parts).... I's so glad you's all safe and also your people sister is a very pretty young lady! Mama says she may need your mom's advices on account of her hellbow. Her hands and wrist is all swolled up and she no even can pick my handsome self up!


Unknown said...

Puddles, only you could tell that story that well! You keep Ma laughing out loud all the time but this one was especially good! I think that other pup was quite handsome too!!! How can there be two of you that cute?! :)

Mollie said...

Oh Puddles, wez just laughing so much.. Wez glad youz waz all safe wiff the popped tyre though.. You actually Shat on the couch then the floor, you rock.Bawahhaaaaa xxooxxx

Mollie and Alfie

Anonymous said...

The one time my mom's tyre got all empty she started to cry... now is that the way to behave.... no. So I think your mom behaved really in a very adult way stopping and doing something clever, like getting the tyre fixed.

Thatdog you met really was gawjuss :)

genji said...

Not a fun adventure. We live in the South in the U.S., so plenty of people say TARS 'round these parts. Good thing you poop rabbit turds. Bet you needed some beauty sleep after such a kerfuffle

Grady and Leonardo said...

Good Morning Ms. P.
Mom read this last night and almost fell off the couch laughing. She re-read it this morning and woke us up laughing so hard again
We're so glad you had a new adventure when your planned adventure took a dump. Just like you did in the waiting room! We think that place just needed some classing up and was waiting for you to show up. Your girl is growing up so fast and is a beauty.
We're looking forward to your next adventure
Newfie love and hugs. Grady and Leo

Soggibottom said...

Puddles my mum would have tried to hide under the chair if she had been caught doin that :-) All's well that ends well and you know, that other dog did look kinda cute.
not as good looking as you though Puddles me ol mate X :-)luvs Freya Rose Blossom X

Scooter said...

That was so funny Puddles that we are cracking up!! And that she showed him the wrong tire BOL BOL

And...who knew that there is another beauty just like you!! hehehe
Hope you get to go another day!!

Jazzi and Addi

Wyatt said...

Puddles, you can put the drama and excitement into any regular day!!
You really need to have your own TV would be a blockbuster!

Wyatt and Stanzie

Unknown said...

BOL theres always drama where puddles is!! I agree with Wyatt, you needs your own tv show, it woulds be fab!!
Love Milo :)

Ziggy Stardust said...

Puddles, you are just like me sometimes. Every where I go, I have to use the bathroom, it is the best way to know what kind of place you are in. You have to leave a little piece of you behind. You picked a good time to shat balls and not goo, you might have gotten in real trouble for that. Your girl is gorgeous by the way and it was nice of you not to soil her. I don't think the world can handle 2 Puddles, so it is best you left that other one there.

Loveys Sasha

Pippa Sheltie said...

Aww, I bet your mum isn't stupid, she was just a bit flustered!
You pooped! On their couch! Oh Puddles, you cheeky dog, were you just tired of waiting?
That dog sure was beeeaaautiful. she looked like some sort of dog-model!
I saw the cowspotdogs Mum has made a lovely little pub in favour of you! I like it!
Pippa :)